My Protector [Jennifer Jareau x Reader]

Nightmares

Trigger warning: this chapter has quite a few detailed mentions of sa*

Y/N's POV:

I wake up to the smell of old wood. My wrists and ankles tied up. I pull at the restraints trying to loosen them. I end up with bruises and still stuck to the bed. I scream and scream but no one hears me. The door handle jiggles and I scream louder. The tall man with dark hair walks in and punches my face.

"Shut up." He says before putting duct tape across my mouth. The area stinging from his knuckles.

He leans down close to my body and I can smell the sweat on him. Then he holds me down in place. I try to scream but nothing comes out.

Tears stream down my face quickly. Fear fills my eyes.

I raise up quickly, my breathing heavy. I frantically scan my eyes around the room, to find it was all a dream. Today's the anniversary of my kidnapping. Even though it's been more than 20 years since it happened, the nightmares stay.

I can't get rid of them. Every year around the anniversary they get worse. It seems like every time I close my eyes, he's there.

I reluctantly roll out of bed and get in the shower trying to wash away the bad memories.

After getting ready I feed Cali and leave for the office.

..........

It was almost time to go home after a long day at Quantico. I've been avoiding everyone, because I don't know how to act normal. It's constantly in the back of my mind and I'm just not sure what to do. I have even avoided JJ as much as I don't want to. Yes she knows about the assault but I hate to bother her with it.

"Sorry guys, but we have a case." Hotch calls as everyone is ready to go home.

I sigh, I really want to go home. I suppose I wouldn't be getting any sleep anyway.

I walk up to the round table with the rest of the team.

Garcia begins explaining the case but my mind is elsewhere. I caught some of what she said and thankfully this case has nothing to do with little girls or sexual assault.

I stay silent for the entire debriefing earning concerned looks from the whole team, but mostly from JJ.

"Wheels up in 20." Hotch brings me out of my trance.

Everyone except Hotch leaves the room and I follow slowly behind.

"Y/N, stay for a second." Hotch calls from behind me. He hardly ever calls me by my first name, I'm officially scared.

JJ gives me a concerned look before leaving the room.

When everyone has gone, Hotch starts. "Can you work this case?"

I look up confused. "Yes of course, why?"

"Y/N, I know about your kidnapping."

I look up in shock. I start to ask how but he interrupts me, "the background check. We found a sealed file. I had a different analyst unseal it so Garcia wouldn't have to know."

I frown and look at my feet, not sure how to respond.

"If you need to take this case off, you can." He says putting a supportive hand on my shoulder.

"Hotch, I need to be here. It will only be worse on me to stay home. Please, let me work this case."

He pauses for a moment, thinking. "Okay, I will let you stay on it, but I won't hesitate to take you off it if I feel I need to."