𝑆𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑒 {ɴ.sᴜʟʟʏ}

ᵐʸ ⁿᵉʸᵃᵐ

sᴏɴɢ﹕ ʀᴏsʏʟɴ, ʙᴏɴ ʜɪᴠᴇʀ, sᴛ. Vɪɴᴄᴇɴᴛ

꧁ ༆ ꧂

𝑌／𝑁，𝑠 𝑃𝑂𝑉：

Dear my Neyam,

A month has gone by since the battle and I have spent it next to you, or at least your body.

I know you're in there, listening to your surroundings. Even if you hardly move I can sense you. You're trying to wake up but you only will with time.

I sit with you everyday hoping soon you'll wake up. If you haven't heard it, I've been singing to you everyday. I no longer sing at dinners and rarely sing to myself, I only want to sing to you.

For you.

My biggest regret is not singing to you on that dreadful day. I regret taking too long and being too overwhelmed by my emotions to please you with the only thing you've ever asked of me.

It's one of my greatest out of the many regrets I now have. I regret lying to you so much and hurting you. I regret making so many plans that I now question will ever happen. I regret forcing you to let me come fight with you and regret letting you sacrifice yourself for me.

I regret it all.

You were always too nice. You forgave me so easily even after all the lies and were kind to me from the beginning even when I was an ass.

I wish I was better to you, more honest. I try to be more like you everyday, be truthful, strong, forgiving and kind.

Honesty comes to me more naturally now and I no longer feel the need to lie. I've told Tonowari and Ronal how I felt and they understood me. Though they haven't took me back in, they now think of me as family again.

I tell people how I feel more often now instead of bottling it up within myself. I've also told most people I trust, about my visions, which have stopped since you've been asleep.

While being honest, I'm also strong for you. I never give up hope that you'll wake up and try not to cry in front of your body.

I was strong for you that night. I helped your parents rescue your sisters and joined an intense battle between them and the sky people. I cannot decide that if you were awake you'd be proud of me or if you'd scold me for my recklessness.

Though I miss you every second of everyday, I try to be strong and put on my happiest face for you, even if you cannot see it.

Forgiving is complicated. I made up with Aonung but he's still kinda salty towards me and I'm not sure if he fully forgives me. Tsireya and I on the other hand are back to normal which I'm most grateful for.

I don't forgive my parents just yet however, wherever they are. Yes I love them and pray for their return every night, but I long for answers from them.