So today John B's taking me to some rehab place in Charleston, he says it's because he cares about me and wants me to get better, but he's taking me away from River when he was the one that wanted me to take care of him so bad in the first place.
So right now I've been in my room saying goodbye to River for like an hour cause I don't wanna leave him, I'm scared that when I come back he won't know me and hate me again.
"JJ we gotta go" John B says sounding like he feels bad walking into the room
"Yeah I know give me a second" I say walking River around the room. "JJ you said that already and that was an hour ago, we really gotta now" he says
"Ok just a few seconds he's almost asleep" I say. "Alright, you promise" he says going to leave. "Yeah, promise" I say
"Ok he's asleep" I say walking to the living room. "Alright so you ready to go then" John B says getting up. "Yeah I guess" I say
All the pouges were there and they all came and gave me a hug saying that they hope I get better and that they'd take care of River
"Come on we gotta go were gonna be late" John B says after they all hug me. "Yeah, bye guys" I say. "Were see you in a month" Kie says. "Yep, I'll miss you guys, gonna be the longest month ever" I say
"It'll be over before you know it" Sarah says. "Guys seriously we gotta go they won't let him in if we're late" John B says laughing. "Yeah go, sorry" Kie says laughing
"Come on" John B saying putting his arm around my shoulders and we walk out the door to the twinkle
When we get into the twinkle I start to cry and I try to hide from John B but he asks me what's wrong. "Just I'm really sorry, I've been an asshole since River was born and I should've told you how I was feeling and about the drugs..." I say with John B interrupting me
"JJ stop its fine, were good and I should be the one apologizing I was an asshole to when I didn't know how you were feeling" he says driving to Charleston. "No were good, you don't have to apologize you had every right to yell at me before, I was stupid" I say
"Yeah you were, like really stupid" he says laughing. "Fuck you, man" I say laughing. "Hey you said it first" he says laughing
Charleston
"Were here" John B says pulling up to the rehab place. "Your coming in with me right" I say nervously. "Yeah course I am, come on" he says getting out of the car
"I don't think I can do this, man, there's probably some crazy dudes in there that are going to try and kill me" I say getting out of the car. "Don't be so dramatic if there was crazy dudes in there they wouldn't kill you because there would be people around to stop it, your going in" he says grabbing my shoulders and pushing me in
"Hi, um I'm JJ, ah JJ Maybank I had a check in thing or what ever you call it" I say to the desk lady very nervously. "Yeah I see your name in here, some one will come out and get you" she says going back to what she was doing
"Thank you" I say. "Your welcome" she says. Then I go and sit down with John B and wait for them to come get me and I start bouncing my leg because I'm scared and nervous
"JJ stop" John B says putting his hand on my knee. "Sorry, I'm just nervous" I say stopping. "It's gonna be ok, I promise I'll be over before you know it and I'll bring River over once or twice a week when I can or one of the pouges will do it, I know you probably miss him already" he says
"Yeah I do" I say laughing. "Yeah thats what I thought" he says laughing.
Then a lady comes through a door calling my name
"Alright that's you, you should go" John B says standing, but I stay sitting. "JJ you have to go" he says again. "Yeah I know" I say getting up
Then he hugs me saying goodbye and that he's sorry, that he's only doing it because he cares about me.
Thursday, October 12th, 2023,Month later
So it's been a month and I'm completely clear of everything alcohol, weed, the pills all of it and I have no intention of doing any of it anymore, I feel a lot better without it and I'm so ready to get of this shitty place. I walk out into the lobby and see John B waiting for me.
"Where's everyone else I thought you were all gonna come together" I say disappointed that it's only John B. "You'll see, change of plans, come on let's get out of this place" he says putting his arm around my shoulders
"So how you feeling" he says asks once were in the car. "Oh I'm great, I feel better, well you know as better as its going to get" I say.
"Yeah I know, I never said you have to forget that it happened, just that you have to put River first and yourself. You can't be all depressed about your whole life she wouldn't want that and you know it, she'd want to go on with your life, get married, have more kids" he says driving
"Yeah I know, I'm gonna be better I promise. I'm gonna get a job, I don't know about the girlfriend thing though" I say. "You don't have to have one right now, I just don't want you to be alone your whole life and River's gonna need a mom, it's only been 7 months that's still early for a new girlfriend" he says
Chateau
"Surprise!" Kie, Sarah, and Pope yell when we walked inside. "Hey guys, where's River" I say.
Yeah I miss them, but I wanna see my little boy.
"What you just don't like us anymore" "He's sleeping" Pope and Kie say at the same time. "Well yeah I like you guys, but he's my son so" I say walking to "my" room where River is. "Hey buddy, I'm home now, did you miss me" I say walking into the room seeing him standing up in his crib smiling at me
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I go and pick him up and he lays his head on my shoulder, I like to think it's his way of saying I love you.
"I love you buddy, and I promise you I'm never gonna leave you again, ever" I say kissing the side of his head
