ch. 11

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***Harry's POV***

It had been nearly two weeks since I last saw Niall.  I was worse than ever now.  I can't sleep, I'll barely talk, I don't eat much anymore.  I can't believe I was such an idiot.  I didn't do what I was supposed to, I didn't try to take it slow.  I just rushed into everything expecting him to still love me.

I left him and I never really told him why.  He thought that I broke up with him because I didn't love him anymore.  I should have known that would happen.  I am such an idiot, I can't believe I let him go.  I wish I could get him back.

I'm not even in London anymore, though.  I'm not entirely sure where we are.  I didn't care to ask.  The guys are off sightseeing, I know that, but I'm not in the mood.

I hear my phone ring and look at it with slight disinterest.  It's an unknown number, none of the guys.  It's been a while since I had talked to someone, and I knew I had to get better, so I answered.

"Hello?"

"Harry?  It's Louis."

I sat up straight.  "Louis?  What's wrong, is Niall-"

"He's fine.  Well, not fine, but he isn't hurt."

"What do you mean he isn't fine?"

"I mean he's moping.  Harry, what happened?  He won't tell me anything.  All I can get is that something happened between the two of you and he's convinced you don't actually love him.  He thinks he's just some toy or something, I don't know."

"I'm an idiot, that's what happened.  I left him when I went to audition for the X Factor.  If I had never done that, none of this would have happened, and we would all be happily dating the people we love.  You'd be with Liam, which you are.  Zayn would be with Perrie, which he is.  I would be with Niall, which I'm not.  I'm an idiot."

"Yea, you are.  I don't know about what happened before the show, but I know Niall.  I know how he became when he lost you three.  I know for a fact he still loves you, but he doesn't want to get his heart broken again."

"I don't know what to do.  I told him how I felt, but he just left."

"He's afraid.  You have to prove to him you meant what you said."

"How?"  I asked desperately, brokenly.

"Admit it.  If you come out, he'll know you really do care for him."

"Are you sure?  Do you really think he'll take me back if I come out?"

"I don't know.  It's worth a shot."

I sighed.  "I have to try something, don't I?  Besides, it's time I came out anyway.  I need to stop lying to the fans, and they were more than fine with you and Liam."

"Niall won't believe it until you do.  I don't know if he'll take you back, but I know he still loves you.  He's been miserable since you left."

I was quiet for a while.  "Niall still loves music, right?"

"Yea, of course.  He lives for music, it's his favorite way to pass time besides eating."

I chuckle.  "I have an idea.  I don't know if it'll work, but I have to do it.  I have an interview in a week.  Can you get Niall to watch it?"

"I'll do my best.  Why?"

I smile slightly.  "It's the last interview before we go back to London and those flats we bought."

"Ok, so?"

"So, I'm going to come out."

***Niall's POV***

"I don't want to watch their interview, Lou."  I was laying on my back, staring at the ceiling.  It had become my usual position in the past three weeks.

"You are watching the interview.  You have to stop moping around and avoiding anything that has to do with Harry."

"Why can't we watch something else?"  I whine childishly.

"Because Liam's my boyfriend, and I want to watch his last interview before he comes back to London."

I groan.  "You suck."

Louis smiles happily.  "Yea, I know.  Now shush, it's starting!"

I sigh and sit up to watch the show.  I slump back against the couch as the overly peppy lady introduces the boys.

Harry comes into view and I sit up in surprise.  He looks worried, nervous almost.  He never looks that way.  He's always so confident and charming, with his cheeky smile and innocent face.

"I hear you boys have been writing a new song, is that true?"

"Yea, we just finished it and are really excited for the fans to hear it."  Liam smirked at Harry, who smiled back.

"What's it about?" I scrunched my nose.  The lady was smiling just a bit too sweetly at Harry.  She was being a bit too nice and excited than she should be, in my opinion.

"It's about someone special I lost.  I was stupid and let them go when I should have held on tight and told them over and over how much I love them." Harry said quietly.  I sat up straighter.  He wasn't talking about...could he be?

"And who is this lucky lady who has Harry Styles so whipped?"

Harry seemed to take a deep breath.  He looked at Zayn and Liam, who both nod encouragingly.  Harry looks at the camera and his nerves seem to disappear.  "His name is Niall Horan.  He's perfect, and I screwed up.  But I love him, and I'm not going to let him go again."

I stared at the screen in shock.  I could feel Louis' eyes on me from across the room.  I looked over and he was smiling at me.  My mouth was hanging open, and I knew that, but I couldn't remember how to close it at the moment.

The audience at the interview was going crazy, and I can't even imagine how badly Twitter was blowing up.  Harry was staring calmly at the crowd.  Liam and Zayn were grinning, practically glowing with pride.

"So, does this mean you're gay?" The lady asked in surprise.

"Yes.  I'm gay, and in love with Niall Horan.  I don't care what anyone thinks about that.  I love who I love, and if he'll have me, I'll spend the rest of my life proving that love to him." Harry stared defiantly at the lady, but he seemed uncertain. 

If he'll have me.

I dropped my head into my hands.  I ignored the rest of the interview, not finding it as interesting as the beginning.  He came out because of me.  He did what he said he couldn't do because he wanted me to forgive him.  Harry loves me.

If he'll have me.

I laughed a bit through my tears and looked up at the TV.  He wasn't sure if I would take him back or not.  That's why he was so unsure and nervous.  He didn't know how I would take this.

"Ni?"

"You knew didn't you?"  I smiled at Louis.

Louis relaxed when he saw my smile.  "Yea, I did.  Harry told me what he was going to do."

I laughed.  "Thanks, Lou.  Really."

"What are you going to do?"  Louis gestured to the TV where the boys were getting up.  I guess the interview ended.

"Seriously Louis?  You have to ask me?"  Louis shrugged.

"I don't think there was ever really a decision.  There's no way in hell I wouldn't take him back after that."

Louis grinned.  "Really?  You'll fprgive him?"

"Yea.  But that doesn't mean I can't make him sweat it out a bit." I leaned back and happily watched the next few shows.

I'll have the love of my life back soon.

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