Bree x Sel-All You Had To Do Was Stay

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A/N: you know that feeling that your writing is getting repetitive? yeah, I've got that feeling. so here's more slightly depressing shit, I'm not at all predictable. This is pretty much right after the reveal (that has no right being as heartbreaking as it is) that Sel's been hiding his descent from Bree for most of the book. Because honestly I feel like there was zero closure-sure it's obvious neither of them are holding grudges by the end & that Sel's desperately sorry, but girl you have every right to stay mad at him. Also I really wanted this to be a 3 v 1 with literally everyone against Sel, but for the life of me I can't write Alice OR William well at all-and since I think it makes a bit more sense with this context, Bree's basically outside on a patio/porch of some kind (at Hazel's, probably)

He's been lying to me.

Playing with me.

I can't trust him.

All those things he said, all those times it felt like we were anything more than hesitant friends, like he cared about me beyond his responsibilities as Kingsmage...

I don't even know how much of that actually happened, let alone how much he didn't force me to feel... how long has he been mesmering me? How long have I not even noticed the way he was watching to make sure I didn't resist his illusions?

I know he's out there somewhere in the woods, feeling sorry for himself-making himself into the victim. Just a helpless little crossroads child who didn't want to scare away his precious Onceborn-raised king... No matter how far away he might be, he's certainly still listening.

"I will never forgive you," I breath. "I can ignore so much of what you've done. But you have finally crossed every line I can think to draw. And you knew that. And you wouldn't have ever stopped, would you? If Valec hadn't revealed you... how long would you go on lying, Selwyn?"

I close my eyes, sighing. I don't want to care about the answer. I don't want to wonder what was true and what wasn't. I don't want to be hurt and angry, because that means he's won. But I am, and I can't deny it. "How much of our... How much have you made up? Forced and manipulated me into? When did you put up your illusion? And when-why-did you decide I'd be the only one you hid from?"

"You are the only person I hid from because you are the only person I cannot stand the thought of losing." Great. I wanted him to hear, but I certainly wasn't hoping for a response. The opposite, actually. I wanted my words to scare him off, not bring him closer. "And I have not forced you into anything, Bree. 'Illusion' and 'mesmer' may be thrown around as similar terms, but they are not." Something about him calling me Bree, now of all times, stings. Like he's still trying to pretend everything is fine.

"Don't you dare give me a lecture on the practical terminology of aether," I snap. "That isn't my point, and you know it."

His tone is even, but there's an emotion I can't read in his eyes, something uncomfortably close to understanding. "Your point is that you have no way of knowing what was real and what wasn't. You believe that if I was willing to hide my physical changes, I could be willing to manipulate your emotions and actions. I have very few ways, if any, of convincing you otherwise, and you have already kindly informed me I shouldn't even try. What would you prefer I say? That everything was a lie? That I'm a horrible monster, more demon than human, that I only care about you for the pain you can provide me? If that is what you want to hear, it isn't lying you have a problem with."

Now there's a sharp edge to his voice. The orange-red glow of his eyes shines in the night. It doesn't scare me, not the way it did even a few hours ago. Now it's just a reminder of why I can't trust the boy in front of me.

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