Of kisses and Love

Kiss Me Forever

"I don't think they'll want to try those scenes tomorrow but if it can put you at ease, sure. Let's kiss now."

Oh. Wow. Suddenly it didn't seem like the best idea. The room felt too hot and too small. Nat could feel his heart trying to beat out of his chest. Why was he so nervous? It was just a kiss. Nothing insurmountable. But Max was so close, and Nat was feeling the heat emanating from his friend's body where their thighs were touching.

"Did you change your mind?" He read on Max's lips more than he heard him with how loudly his blood was ringing in his ears. "It's ok if you did, Nong. Don't feel like you have to just because you think you have to improve your acting skills." He looked sincere and soft and Nat couldn't help but fall for him a bit harder. Stop. No. That wasn't why he was doing all this. As Max said, it was all for the sake of their series. It has nothing to do with his stupid crush.

"I didn't change my mind, but I am nervous." There, good boy. He was being honest and open. That was the way to go. "How do we even start? Do we just kiss, like, go straight for it?" He was clenching his hands on his pants, the palms getting sweatier with every passing second.

Max took one of his hands in his, gently softening the grip Nat had on his jeans. He brought the younger's hand up to his shoulder, only letting go once Nat was holding him properly. The boy felt the muscles rolling under his palms as Max moved to face him fully. Ok. That was it then. He was going to give his first proper kiss to his screen partner. Again. His cheeks were in flames. Thank god no one was there to witness this absolute nonsense. Waiting for the workshops would have been so embarrassing.

He tried hard to keep his composure, but as Max's face was getting closer to his, he felt his eyes widen, and he grew restless. They were barely an inch away, he could feel Max's breath on his lips. Oh my god. That's it. It was going to happen. He closed his eyes and hoped for the best. He was going to stay still and let himself be kissed. He waited a second. Two. Five seconds. Nothing happened. Only when he reopened his eyes did Max whisper to him.

"Don't worry KhonDiao. Hia will take good care of you." And it shouldn't have bothered him, but suddenly he couldn't bear the thought of being someone else. Of this being KhonDiao and Yi. No, he wanted to be Nat right now. It wasn't fair that none of his firsts belong to him but to a character.

"P'Max," He said while moving back a bit. "Don't call me that." He whined a little and pouted. Even if he could feel the shame creeping under his skin, his desire to live this moment entirely was stronger. It didn't hurt that Max was absolutely gorgeous, and he also was way nicer than Hia Yi. He couldn't think of a better person to kiss honestly. But Max was looking at him weirdly as if he was a bit puzzled. Maybe he was misunderstanding him. So Nat hurried to explain himself. "I mean, we can rehearse, but I hoped that..."

"That what, Nong?"

Ok. Breath, Nat. His Phi's face was getting closer once again, and he really should not hold his breath so much if he didn't want to pass out.

"I hoped that... this," He gestured between the two of them. "could be like a real first kiss, you know, not just rehearsing. But if you feel uncomfortable, Phi can tell me. I don't want you to be uncomfortable." He knew he was rambling but who could blame him?

"Alright,'" The man gifted him with his usual indulgent yet a little infuriated smile. "I'm also nervous if that can make you feel better." And really, Nat was so focused on himself and his inner turmoil that he hadn't noticed it, but his Phi did seem to be radiating some weird energy, something between nervous and giddy. "It's a big responsibility for me. You know I only want what's best for you, and I already feel bad you can't have normal teenage experiences. That you have to rush things so you can act, you should have been able to do it with a girlfriend or a boyfriend, not with your Phi like that." He looked a little sad, and Nat almost wanted to tell him that no one could compare to him and that kissing him was perfectly fine, but Nat thought it might be crossing an invisible line. He had to be careful there. They didn't want things to get messy.