Of kisses and Love

Good Night Kiss

The bathroom door slammed shut, and Nat slumped against it. His heart was beating so fast he was scared it would jump out of his chest and crash onto the floor tiles. What had happened? What had he done? The questions were ringing in his ears, loud and omnipresent. This was not what he had planned when he had thought about asking Max to kiss again. He had imagined heavy kisses, playful tongues, and adventurous hands at most. He had not planned for him to cum in his freaking pants while P'Max was encouraging him with kisses. He was in a right mess thanks to his traitorous body.

But first thing first, shower. He felt absolutely disgusting.

Nat turned on the hot shower water and removed his soiled sweatpants and underwear. He childishly closed his eyes, not wanting to look at the mess. How would he ever be able to look at P'Max in the face after today? He couldn't believe he had done that with his Phi. What was he thinking seriously? Maybe the main problem was that he hadn't been thinking. He checked the water and burned his hand a little before deciding a cold shower might be better to clear his head. He hissed as the cold hit his body and instantly regretted his decision. He waited for the water to heat up again and finally relaxed under the warm spray.

He reached for his favorite candy-scented body wash and started washing his body with shaking hands. The smoothness of his own hands covered in soap on his body made him remember all the ways Max had caressed him earlier. He could already feel himself growing hard again. What the hell? He could not want it again so soon after coming. He tried his best to ignore the annoying problem and finished washing away the remnant of his make-out session with his Phi. Could he even still call that making out? his Phi had basically made him come. Did it count as having sex? Did he lose his virginity with his P'Max 20mn ago? Surely, it couldn't count as sex, right? And what about his partner? Should he have insisted on helping? He had felt the obvious bugle in Max's pants, but he had been unable to do anything about it.

Ok. Ok. Stop. Breath, Nat, breath.

Now was not the time to panic.

He rinsed his body and grabbed a towel before leaving the shower stall. He looked at his reflection above the bathroom sink, and he could see faint traces of reddish bruises on his chest. Shia. Did P'Max do that? Against all better judgments, Nat's stupid little brain already decided it loved them. He wanted to wear them like tokens of what had happened between them.

Nat scolded himself at the intrusive thoughts and went to grab his hair dryer.

As he dried his hair, the rapid beating of his heart slowed, and he felt the panic fade. What was done was done. He had made out with his on-screen partner to get experience and be able to act properly in their series. That was it. Sure, they had done things that would not be appropriate for broadcasted TV, but it wasn't that serious, right?

Maybe he should text Jelly. What was one supposed to do when they just basically had sex with their crush slash Phi slash on-screen partner, if not call their best friend to scream with them? And he had questions. What was he supposed to do with Max now? Should he pretend it never happened? Should he confess? Should he wait and see what would happen next? Also, was he definitely gay now? He was suspecting. His crush on Max didn't leave him much doubt, but still. That was a question that kept coming back at the back of his head.

He could answer only one of these questions. He should definitely not confess. He was grateful his Phi indulged him so much, but Max had made it clear he wouldn't have kissed Nat if the younger boy hadn't insisted so much. Nat shouldn't get too hopeful. P'Max was nice. He should be careful not to take advantage of him to satisfy his selfish desires. He just wished his body and heart weren't already longing for more of Max. More of his kisses, of his touches, of his body. More of all of him.