Villains Rehab

| •- Chapter 12 -• |

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"The chains are broken, but are you truly free?"

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Dekus pov

I started to slowly open my eyes. I looked around to see a bright hospital room. It looked a little like the UA nurses office, but I didn't know for sure if it was. I tried to get up but immediately feel back down. "Why can't I move?" I thought to myself. I looked down to see the few bandages around my stomach.

I grew more panicked thinking about what happened before I passed out. My breathing was slowly picking up and my eyes darted around the room. I didn't see Toga or Dabi anywhere. Actually I couldn't see anyone, I was alone. I didn't like this situation at all so even though it hurt a shit ton. I sat up and slowly moved from the bed. My legs were not having that and I stumbled around.

"I don't even know how I'm up right now" I thought. With this many bandages I shouldn't be able to do this. I guess my pain tolerance helps me out, at least all those years were good for something. I had managed to get to the door and opened it. I swear this door was way heavier than it looked.

I wobbled while walking down the hall. Class 1-a shouldn't be to far if I'm not mistaken. I need to see Dabi and Toga, they have to be safe. I was moving way slower than usual which was quite a problem.

It took a good amount of time, but I finally reached the class door. I opened this door slightly easier and saw the class with some, mummy? "Nice of you to join us Deku, go sit in your seat." Aizawa said. He was apparently the mummy looking guy, I guess he was too suborn to stay at the hospital.

Aizawa continued talking to the class while I walked to my seat. Once I sat down I saw Dabi and Toga looking straight at me. I knew they wanted to ask a lot of questions, but that would be after class. Even I had a lot of questions, I thought I was supposed to be quirkless?

That day I definitely was using a quirk. Only, I can't seem to use it again. For the rest of the class I just zoned out, it was a lot to think about. Everything I went through was because I had no quirk, but it turns out I had one all along? This was really messed up.

I feel some rage bubbling up, but I just ignored it. "That's all for today you can go back to your dorm for now" Aizawa said, breaking me out of my thoughts. I got up expecting to be bombarded with questions but Toga and Dabi just waited for me at the door.

At this point everyone was gone and one we were left walking to the dorms. "Are you going to ask me anything?" I said a little scared, I hated questions but I hated the loud silence even more. "Tell us everything when your ready zuku. Right now just tell us if your okay?" Toga said surprisingly calm.

I was kinda shocked by how calm the usual hyper Toga was being. I'm glad they weren't being pushy it helped me calm down a little. "Thank you, and believe me I'm fine!" I said back trying to hide the shaking in my voice. "Okay zuku, if you say so!" Toga said back in her normal cheerful voice.

I saw dabi look back at me but turn away quickly. I guess I'll ignore that, he must want to say something. He never did though and we finally reached the dorms in a somewhat silence. "Well goodnight zuku! See you tomorrow." Toga yelled while she and Dabi went to their rooms.

I gave a small smile to her and went into my room. I wouldn't get any sleep tonight that's for sure. I walked to my bed and sat down feeling all the rage I tried to push down. " I had a quirk this entire time?" I thought. Millions of thoughts were racing in my mind. And a whole bunch of what if questions filled my mind.

Once again my breathing picked up and I started panicking. My whole life was hell because I didn't have a quirk. So why did I suddenly have one now? Did I always have one? Is it my fault my life was hell then?

I couldn't stop the tunnel of thoughts this time. Actually I could, but I can't start again. I haven't done that since I met Dabi and Toga. I could only think about it, that damn voice I tried so hard to get rid of was coming back. "It's all my fault.. if I just used the quirk my life wouldn't be so bad" I said quietly to myself.

I began to cry thinking back to everything that's happened to me. "I can't believe this, I'm so useless..." I said with tears streaming down my face now. "You know you want to" "No I can't. I quit that a long time ago" I said back. This voice was something I started hearing after I was hit the first time. And it's only even been a pain.

"Come on now, only a few and you'll feel so much better" it said to me. Maybe it was right? A few wouldn't be to bad. "No! Just fuck off! What am I thinking? I swore I wouldn't do it again, for them, for Eri..." I thought. "It's your fault she's gone you know. If you only used your quirk she wouldn't have been taken." It said.

"Your right.. why didn't I use it then? I let her get taken from me?" I said in a normal voice this time. This isn't good, I'm letting it get to me. "It's all your fault! Their gone because of you. How dare you be happy? You need to do it now" it said to me.

"It's right. I know it to, how come I'm living better now while Eri is probably going through a lot. I need to do it, it's not fair that I'm happy." I thought. With that I got up and went to the bathroom. I knew what I needed to find, and I knew where I put them.

I opened the draw and found the little box in the back of it. I opened it and grabbed the blade inside. I looked at it knowing what I needed to do now. I put the box down and pulled up my sleeve.

>The next bit includes self-harm. Please skip if that is uncomfortable or triggering to you<

I looked again at the blade in my hand and then the mirror. I placed the blade on my arm and dragged it across. Blood immediately dripped from the wound. It hurt, but I also felt relief. All though I knew that I would need to continue if I wanted the voice to go away.

I felt a little sting from the small cut and then placed the blade on my arm again. I dragged it across my skin again and again. Slowly I started to not care how much it hurt. It felt like I was doing what I needed to. I zoned back in and saw the once clean arm littered with almost 20 cuts now. Blood covered the area, and yet I felt numb now. That's when I knew I did enough.

>end to the self-harm<

I turned the sink on and let the water wash the semi dried blood off the blade. I placed it into the box and pushed it to the back of the drawer. I closed it and then ran my arm under the water. It stung but I have been through a lot worse, so this was nothing. After I had washed all the extra blood off my arm and turned off the water.

I quickly bandaged it up before it could start bleeding a lot again. I looked at my arm and then myself in the mirror. It finally processed what I had done. I started sobbing again and leaned on to the counter. My legs were so weak I had pushed myself to far already. All the stress just made it worse.

I slowly made my way to the bed using the walls to walk. I got to the bed and collapsed onto the pillow. I sluggishly pulled the blanket over me and closed my eyes. My mind was blank now and I only felt the stinging on my arm. I tossed a little and then dozed off.

I really didn't want to wake up tomorrow.

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~•| Word Count |•~
•—| 1500 |—•

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