Enamor

I

Malena

Have you ever listened to the heartbeat of rain? Each pitter-patter dropping. Our heart beats around once every second, but rain, rain hits so much faster, can hit so much greater. It is a force and I watch it as it pours outside my window.

This has been my life, and I have come to terms with it. I am sitting on the cold floor of my apartment which is more like a closet. It's very cold, and I am shivering on the floor. My feet are bare on the dirty floor and I hear a mouse squeak from the dark. The electricity is out and I'm rocking back and forth in the corner trying to find solace and warmth.

I look around, a heavy blanket wrapped around me, the small place has paint peeling and tiles damaged, the wood creaks heavily with every step I take and I have to hear the noisy couple upstairs having sex every night. I wouldn't have bought this shit hole if I wasn't so broke and it wasn't so cheap. Paris was very expensive and I had always dreamed of buying a small cottage in Normandy. But I needed to save up.

The mouse makes its way to me and through clattering teeth and grey skin I take out my hand and give it a small piece of bread. It's just like me I guess, lost, unwanted, alone, and hungry.

I suddenly hear a loud banging on the door. The door shakes and the chain that is clasped over the edge rocks.

"Tenant!"

Mr. Pierre was a vile, greedy man. Loretta, my neighbor would invite me to tea to complain about how much he bumps up the rent, he gave me this terrible place on the first floor that has. been nothing but a headache. Floods, every time it rains, and terrible conditions. I gave up trying to make the place cute with my second-hand furniture.

I slowly get up and peek through the door to see his short frame and mustache. I open it and he stared at me.

"Ms.Camille, rent was due two days ago."

My eyes go wide.

"Mr, Pierre, if you please my paycheck is coming in tomorrow I promise to pay it then. I'm a little short."

"Non, non! Ça ne marche pas!" he yells. (That does not work).

"Je le veux maintenant!" (I want it now).

"Mr, I don't have it." I slam the door in his face in frustration. Nobody would buy this garbage dump anyway, he won't cancel the lease.

I sigh in frustration and make my way toward my bed to sleep out the cold. The rain should stop soon and I can't be sick for work tomorrow.

I walk over to my bedroom and light candles. It's cute with a pink poster bed and a wooden antique closet. I crawl under the sheets. I hear a squeak and see that the mouse has followed into the room.

"Remi", I decided to name him that, it just suits him.

I love animals, and always have.

Remi tucks himself into the carpet beside my bed and sleeps beside me.

I sigh looking at the cracked green ceiling. Work is not easy, I clean at the orphanage I grew up in. Scrubbing the floors all day watching countless kids come in and out with broken hearts and broken dreams. I was them not too long ago, eyes empty watching from the top of the stairs for the door to open and a family to welcome me home. I gave up on that dream, I am not Cinderella.

The only thing that keeps me going is the beaten-down, pink ballet shoes hung neatly on my dresser. My most prized possession.

I still remember the day I danced outside the ballet school across from my orphanage. I remember those girls with clean hair and leotards and pretty bows in their hair. They smiled in happiness as they enjoyed the classes their parent bought for them. I danced outside the window in the cold at night to the same music.

I listened in on the classes and danced with the students, but they never saw me until one day a beautiful woman stopped me. It was after the class, and she came outside. I got nervous and ran but she called out something that stopped me.

"Would you like to dance?"

From then on she gave me private lessons for thirty minutes every day after class. I had my pair of ballet shoes from before my parents passed but I did not have my first pair of pointe shoes. I never understood why she gave me free lessons but she said it was because "one day she would get a return on her investment."

Her name was Alice and she was the daughter of the headmaster of the school. She wasn't too old, only twenty at the time. She told me about her Chinese heritage and her dancing at the Royal ballet, she was very talented and I could tell, quite fond of me. She looked after me, giving me cookies and her extra things as she was quite rich.

Alice gave me a hand when no one else did, and for that I was grateful. She gave me solace in my turmoil.

"You are the most talented student, mark my words you will dance for the royal ballet someday, there will come a time when you will no longer be my student."

But those were dreams. Alice couldn't possibly be right. What future did a poor, unloved girl like me have other than becoming a maid?

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please excuse my french, they're my translations as I do speak french but it might not be the best if you are a french speaker.