The Lies That We Tell (COMPLETED)

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

I stayed for a two hours sa birthday ni Fabian then I had to leave by telling him that I had a massive headache. He didn't question me. Probably because I really looked like shit last night. I felt bad, but I just wanted to leave. I wasn't fun to be around. I felt like I'd just drag the mood down with my presence.

"Hey," sabi ni Fabian nang maupo siya sa upuan sa harap ko. I asked him to meet me in a coffee shop. It was already the day after his birthday. Tama naman si Gem, e. The sooner I do this, the sooner this would be over.

"Hey," I replied with a small smile.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked.

"A bit," sabi ko. Totoo naman na masakit iyong ulo ko—siguro sa kakaisip kung paano ko lulusutan iyong mga problema na ako naman ang gumawa.

"That's good to hear," he replied.

I looked at him as I clasped my hands together. He's been nothing but a gentleman to me. Paano ko ba sisimulan 'to? I was the one who asked him out. Kung tutuusin, nananahimik siya pero ginulo ko bigla iyong buhay niya. He deserved so much better than me. I knew I was still not over Zion, yet I invited another guy into my life. What was I thinking? It was a disaster waiting to happen.

"Fabian," I called out his name. He looked at me with those kind eyes. This was so hard. I hoped he didn't like me at all so that what I was about to say wouldn't sting.

Huminga ako nang malalim.

I practiced what I would say to him. I didn't want to say the wrong word and risk hurting him. Wala naman siyang ginawang masama sa akin para masaktan ko.

"Just say it," bigla niyang sabi.

"What?"

"I know what you want to say, but I can't say it for you."

Napaawang ang labi ko. Did he know? Iyong sa amin ni Zion? Paano niya nalaman? Sino ang nagsabi sa kanya? Galit ba siya sa akin? Galit ba siya kay Zion? Kailan niya pa alam?

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He reached for the glass and pulled it closer to his side. "I just told you I won't say it for you," he said. He looked at me. "Come on now. You can tell me."

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko sa kanya.

Fuck it.

"I'm sorry," I began because at the very least, that's true. I was sorry for involving him in my mess. Because I was so in denial that I was never really over Zion. Na kahit anong klaseng red flag siya, I just... I just fucking wanted him so badly. It makes no sense to me, yet that's just how I felt.

"Yeah, me, too," he said. "We tried, though."

"Still, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry, it's all good," sabi niya. "I genuinely enjoyed spending time with you."

"I did, too."

"You just didn't like me that way."

"No. I'm sorry," sabi ko.

"It's fine."

"Do you like me that way?"

"I do," sabi niya. "But you don't like me that way and it's fine. I'll be over this, don't worry."

Hindi ako makapagsalita. Why was this easier than I thought? Siguro kasi totoong mabait si Fabian. Akala ko hindi totoo iyong mga taong walang masamang buto sa katawan. They felt like a myth to me. But then there's this guy. Kaya pala lahat ng kakilala niya ay walang masabing masama sa kanya. He's a nice guy through and through. Even in the face of rejection, he still remained nice to me. He was the total opposite of me. I really didn't deserve him.