CHLOE BAKER'S LOST DATE

Chapter Twenty-Nine: My Person

It's Friday afternoon and I'm desperately racing to finish the list of titles for Tabitha along with the speech I have to give tonight.

It's been an up and down week. Up are definitely the nights with Ben, eating good food and discovering each other in bed, then watching an episode of Felicity before falling asleep. The downs are work. Jameela and Addison still aren't talking, which means we're all not talking, and our formerly lively workplace has turned into something cold and antiseptic. I don't know how to fix it and I'm not even sure it's mine to fix. Maybe it will all blow over in a week or two, but in the meantime, Addison seems to be writing a chapter a day in her novel, and Zoey keeps making terrible choices.

I haven't updated her on anything to do with me and Ben since this all blew up but she has this uncanny knack of writing scenes that are close enough to reality to sting. I should stop reading it but I can't seem to help myself. Of course, Addison knows I'm reading it so there's this weird thing where it feels like she's communicating with me through the story. Like she's trying to tell me something, but I can't quite get the message.

What she's not giving me, though, is what I need.

Rom-com titles.

I have two open documents on my laptop. One where I'm putting the titles that Tabitha wants as they occur to me. And the other, where I'm putting porny titles because that's all I can think about for some stupid reason. I've been sending them to Kit too, throughout the day.

PULP FRICTION.

EVERYONE I DID LAST SUMMER.

Ha, ha. Kit writes. Is this your speech?

Maybe!

Girl, no.

Don't worry. I wouldn't want to see Lianne die or anything.

That would be bad.

I'm so screwed.

Nothing coming to you?

OMG YOU DID IT AGAIN!

Your mind is in the gutter.

I'm just tired. Not sleeping well.

Oh? Because of Ben?

I smile. That is definitely part of the reason that I'm low on sleep. Yes and yes. Also all the work stuff. I don't know.

Plus the speech.

So much pressure.

Just speak from the heart. It should be easy right? Kit writes. Given that you're in love.

This pushes me back in my seat. Is Kit right? Am I love with Ben? I like him a waffle lot ... hahaha. My mind is going. Okay, okay, it does feel like love. But I've been fooled before. It always feels like this in the beginning, doesn't it? All that possibility and hope and good sex? You don't know if it's going to last until later. So it's too soon to say love.

Isn't it?

Hello!

Yeah, still here.

You don't love him?

I don't know yet.

Hmmm.

What?

You're scared.

I'm not.

You are. You're scared of putting yourself out there. Remember how hard I had to work to get you to even go on that date with Jack?