"It" Can't be Helped (Revised) | ♾️ | Blue Exorcist

4

I slammed the door to the bedroom, my fingers finding their way to my hair and I ripped at the roots. My lungs burned as I gasped for air, and my vision blurred with tears. I began to pace the room, counting each of my steps in order to calm my frantic mind. But it was no use, the pressure inside me continued to grow and my stomach churned. My own brother had shot me, and he could've easily killed me. My mind flickered to Yukio's aim; he was well-trained, and the bullet's destination was right for my vitals. There was no doubt in my mind that the placement had been intentional. I pounded my fists against my skull, forcing the thought out of my head. I bit back a scream, turning to the side and taking my emotions out on Yukio's nightstand. I kicked at the wood, the bedside lamp along with a small leather bag falling off - its contents spilling onto the floor.

I sighed and plopped down to my knees, grasping the items and shoving them back into the bag. As I did, sobs tore past my throat, wracking my body. The bag had to be some of Yukio's gear. Holy water, extra clips of varied bullets, and medical herbs I'd learned about in his class. I shoved them all into the bag, placing it and the fallen lamp back onto the nightstand. I was about to stand, but something caught my eye. It was metallic, glinting in the dim light of the room. I hiccuped and reached down, pulling it from its place under Yukio's bed. I held it in my hands, assessing it. It was a foldable combat knife. A cross was etched into the dark stained wood of the handle. I wiped my watery eyes and flipped the blade open, noting its razor edge and the serrations at the hilt of the blade. I closed the knife and was about to toss it into the bag with the rest of its contents, but I stopped short when I spotted the blood that stained the handle. Puzzled, I passed it between my hands, staring at the still-bleeding wound in my palm. It didn't appear to be healing at all. I recalled the scar on my wrist, and how the wound had healed in an instant. I stole another glance at my bloody palm, realizing the common denominator. The bullet was blessed, so my healing was hindered.

I swallowed hard and leaned back on my heels. I raised my arm and wiped my tears onto my sleeve. My whole body ached, but the aching was outweighed by my emotions. My mind flickered back to how the scar on my wrist was formed, and how the pain of the knife had broken me from my sour thoughts. However, with a normal blade, the cut had healed, and subsequently, the pain didn't last long. Glancing down at the knife in my hand, I had a revelation.

"Rin?" My eyes snapped up at the sound of Kuro's voice. "Are you okay? You came storming into the building and it sounded like you were crying." The voice drew nearer, and I panicked. I shoved the knife into the pocket of my jacket just as Kuro rounded the corner. His eyes grew wide when he saw me and he sprinted forward. Coming to a stop in front of me, he stood on his back legs, his front paws leaning on my chest as he got close to my face. His own expression was swirling with intensity. "What happened, why are you crying?!" I shook my head, raising my hands to wipe my eyes again. A high-pitched gasp filled the room, "What happened to your hand?!"

I sighed, realizing he'd find out sooner or later. "Yukio shot me."

He flinched, and a strained sound escaped his lips as his eyes grew wide. "W-Why??"

"He thought I was gonna hurt someone," I said quietly. "Listen, I don't want to talk about it right now, I just want to be alone. Okay?" My familiar blinked several times before nodding, his shocked expression unwavering. "I'm going up to the roof to think and maybe practice my flames for a bit." With that, I pulled away from him, and I heard his front paws thud against the floor. I didn't bother to look at him before leaving the room, I was positive he would be shocked still for the next several minutes. I tried to shove away my thoughts as I made my way up the flights of stairs. Soon enough, I was pushing open the door to the roof. I slipped my hand into my pocket, my fingers running across the polished wood. I made sure to lock the door behind me, grateful for the extra security. The last thing I wanted was for Kuro to find me up here, not with what I planned on doing.