Afraid of the Dark

Chapter 22: The Way You Were Made

Reela sits on the couch of Jules' cabin with her head down. Her body still lets out on-and-off fits of trembling and she still can't get her hands to stop shaking enough to really do anything but pet Toya in her lap. Her eyes are mostly dry, but an occasional tear manages to slip down her cheek to remind her of just how broken she feels. And hungover.

Todo is sitting next to her with his hand softly rubbing her back, trying to gently ease her down from her sobbing. Everything happened just a little over an hour ago, so he can't blame her for still being so shaken up.

Another tear escapes her eye and she sniffles. "...I'm so sorry..." she weakly croaks out. Todo reaches over to brush away her tear with his thumb and he cradles her cheek to get her to look at him. She instinctively reaches up to grab his wrist.

"Don't be," he states and doesn't break his firm, but warm stare into her eyes. "This wasn't your fault, Reela... It's never been your fault."

Hearing that just gets another tear to fall so she closes her eyes and turns forward again, just feeling Todo continue tracing gentle lines across her back.

It's never been her fault. She knows that, but at times, she can't help but look back and wonder what she could have done when the Latyrs took her. Sure, she was a child. But she's come to terms with the fact that she – an eight year old girl – single handedly killed an entire unit of Dev'al Ordon soldiers in her sleep.

Why didn't she do that with the bandits? Why couldn't she save herself? Why was she only safe once Regan and Cree showed up?

She should have saved herself.

"...He's right, Reela."

Both Reela and Todo look over at where Avinalyn is standing in the corner. She honestly almost forgot that they were here. They've just been so quiet since leaving the club. Jules was still drunk and Corb was trying to track her down and sober her up, and Reela was in no state to try using her rift shard. So Avinalyn used theirs to bring Reela and Todo back to Greanleif.

They let out a silent sigh before meeting Reela's eyes. "...It wasn't your fault."

Reela stares at them. At the distance in their eyes. Something in them looks broken. Familiar, but maybe misplaced somehow. She's really in no place to think too much on it right now. She slowly starts shaking her head before she just looks down. "...I should have killed her," she whispers.

Todo grabs her hand which stops her from petting Toya. "No. You're a good person, Reela. Your magic doesn't change that," he says softly.

Avinalyn sighs. "That's... not entirely true," they say carefully, getting Reela to look over at them again. "You are right, Reela. You should have killed that woman for what she was doing to you. With uncontrolled magic, especially Dark Magic, it's normally almost impossible to resist," their eyes slightly narrow on her. "And yet you did."

Reela looks down again and just stares at the ground. She doesn't understand what happened. Everything was a blur, until the moment it wasn't. She snapped and suddenly everything was dark, but somehow perfectly clear. It felt vastly different from all the other times the Dark has taken control. And it wasn't just her eyes that got dark, but the room. Shadows literally came out of her once she gave in.

Todo sighs and shakes his head. "We can worry about the magic stuff later. Right now, Reela, just focus on breathing. You're safe now," he says and carefully moves his hand from her back to her shoulder to pull her into a reassuring side-hug.

Reela sniffles again and cocks a curious brow at him. "We... are?" she looks over at Avinalyn, who says nothing. She returns her shattered gaze to Todo. "I... thought you hated them? Why... Why are they here?" she asks and clears her throat against the dryness from her sobbing and she reaches over to grab the glass of water from the coffee table.