3rd & Long

Chapter 5: Unnecessary Roughness

So he finally did it. Of course he did it. I'm not surprised. Disappointed? I shouldn't be. He loves her... and I'm sure she loves him. And I don't love him anymore. I don't. I'm not going to cry over him again. I'm not going to give him a single tear. I can't. If that's what he wants I'm happy. I have to be. Okay maybe I don't. Maybe I can be sad. I shouldn't be. Damn it.

Nat's attempt to hold back tears failed like her attempts to make things work with Dustin Haggard had. As she pulled into the parking lot, she couldn't be bothered by her impending work. Since it was only a half day, all Nat had to do was fake a few smiles, nod somewhat convincingly, and try not to cry in front of anyone. Easier said than done.

As Nat walked into the facility towards the conference room where the athletic trainers would have their follow-up meeting after the game, all she could do was replay the scenes of her failed relationship from the past season. Dustin Haggard was the incredible new quarterback the Los Angeles Lightning had been begging for. And it felt like a dream that he, of all players, took an interest in Nataly Casillas.

She replayed the first time she saw him in practice, how incredible he could throw the ball, hit his targets, and how easy he made it look.

She remembered the first time they talked, in the Lightning locker room after Nat had brought him a cream that was meant to help him with his stiff shoulder joint. He smiled at her and she felt her insides burn up to a crisp.

She recalled the time they talked in the locker room, long after everyone had left, about how nervous they both were about their first year and how they promised they would handle it together.

The tears gathered in Nat's eyes demanding to be released, but she swallowed them back by force. As if by sleepwalking, Nat made it to a seat in the conference room right next to Ellie. The blonde trainer looked at her (did she say something?) but the only thing Nat heard was Dustin's laugh. Dustin's words, Dustin's grunts, all of it played on loop in her mind as she remembered the love that was never really hers. Once the rest of the staff gathered in the room, Mr. Stoll stood up at the front and began the meeting.

Nat expected her boss' words to go in one ear out the other, but it turns out the words got lost before they could even find her. The only thing Nat could process were the pictures on the monitor: this upcoming week would be the Los Angeles Lightning vs. the San Francisco Pioneers. If her heart was broken in two, this shattered it completely. The only thing Nat could do now was be victim to the rush of memories that started playing in her mind.

She replayed the time after practice when Dustin tried to teach her how to throw a football. Nat kept failing spectacularly but Dustin was patient, determined to see her throw one adequate pass. When she didn't meet his expectations, he put his arms around her and tried to guide her body using his own. She could feel his breath on her neck even now.

She remembered the first time they went out to eat together. Dustin had never tried birria tacos so Nat took him to her favorite truck. Together the two ate in the back of his car, laughing at how Dustin couldn't handle the spice. They ate and they talked and she remembered the look in his eyes that pierced her soul and left a scar that never healed.

She recalled their first kiss, after the team's 2nd win. It happened without warning but with complete welcome. Dustin waited until they were alone at the facility and he gave her the same look he had the night they ate together. He slowly leaned in and when their lips connected Nat felt fireworks shoot from her mouth to her feet. After he looked at her and smiled, she knew she was in love.

Nat was broken out of her trance by an elbow from Ellie. Nat heard her tell Mr. Stoll the two of them would do inventory after the meeting. Out of all the responsibilities to do after the game, this was certainly the most boring, but it was something she could handle in her current emotional state. Nat silently thanked her new friend but ignored whatever it was Ellie mouthed at her. Nat wasn't sure what she felt anymore.