Rainbow Heart

Chapter 3

The alarm raged, as rings of loudness became louder. Bryan wakes up, turning off his alarm clock. Getting his school uniform and his underwear and then puts them on. Getting breakfast, eating fast and making food for his school lunches. As he walks outside waiting for the bus to drop by. He waits and waits as a bus appeared he hopes on and sits down. He is completely ready, rushing his very own morning in stress. He brought his comb in his bag, so he quickly did his hair and sat down looking out of the window. He waits and waits for everyone to get onboard so they can arrive at school. It was odd for Bryan to be rushing, is it stress kicking in? As he sits with a racing heart, he is breathing loudly and fast. The panicking sound, as he feels uncomfortable and nervous! Anxious, and anxiety is running through the mind of Bryan. This was strange, Bryan didn't know how to control these actions he randomly started having, after a huge number of kids aboard the bus.

The bus stopped in front of the school, everyone got off as Bryan waits for everyone to leave, then he will follow behind the second last person. He felt nervous, some anxious feeling knowing if people are sitting or just are behind him. Always looking over his shoulders, as anxiety tells him to worry and be afraid! Like he couldn't trust the people behind, as they may do something to him that he wouldn't be able to dodge. It is strange to understand, a feeling so odd yet is there.

He gets of the bus and walks on in the school gates. He sees his friend Taylor waiting for him, so Bryan walks up to her. She could tell by the way that his body was moving, that he is feeling nervous or afraid, but the reasoning to why is still unknown. Sometimes she is worried for him, a man who keeps his secrets to himself, but can clearly see that he is scared of something. Bryan and Taylor walked down the school pathways, heading towards their first class which was Maths.

"So, what was the thing that you wanted to tell me yesterday?" Taylor wondered, as she hears Bryan heavily breathing repeatedly. The stress he felt was overwhelming. A panicking feeling, a raging alarm in his head as he feared the question itself. "Bryan, are you ok." Taylor stopped walking and stood still wonderingly. She puts her hands on his shoulder, then brings him in to give him a hug. A tear could be felt coming through one's eyes. Bryan backed away, leaning against a pole he sat down on the ground as few tears came down. Taylor sat down as well, sitting in front of him she was worried. But she didn't know what was bothering her best friend. Why is that question so worrying? Is he afraid of the answer, or afraid to give me the response. The other kids walking pass us, Bryan always looking to his sides and behind. Looking around repeatedly like he was lost, lost in his mind perhaps? "It's ok, if you don't want to say it Bryan, I understand." Taylor said, hoping for Bryan to feel less forced, and more comfortable with the situation he is faced upon.

The stress he felt was uncontrollable, he couldn't speak clearly without repeating every word. Everything he says, is like he is put under stress. How could a man seem so happy, now stressed in unbearable amounts of anxious feelings and emotions. He was trying to breathe in and out, slowly and calmly. Trying to control his emotions. But then he stands up, as Taylor stands up after him. He hugged Taylor as he cried the last tears. Taylor felt lost, she didn't know how to help him. He was upset, like he was afraid of losing someone. He is ashamed, stressed, and upset the emotions we're overwhelming. The ability to control oneself wasn't possible. Trapped in his mind, locked in the stressful mess. He is nervous to say something, but what is it that is bothering him?

The school bell rang, they both walked slowly towards their first class. Bryan and Taylor walked in the classroom sitting on their chairs. Taylor was on the other side of the classroom on the far-left side, as Bryan was on the far-right side. Taylor felt worried for her own best friend, she was confused why he was upset and afraid. She couldn't stop looking at him, with a feeling of sadness. It pains her heart to know something is bothering him. Something bothering him to the point tears came in. The teacher was talking their nonsense, but Taylor couldn't focus clearly on the teacher, or the class itself. Bryan was doing his work, hoping to avoid attention towards others in the classroom. But Taylor wasn't gonna ignore him, or act like he is a ghost flowing through the heavy winds. Bryan was her best friend, her only friend she doesn't want him to be sad or upset. She cared for him deeply, and truly because she knows that he loves and cares for her deeply, and truly as well. Friendship that lasted for 10 years old, now 16.

The class ended, as they both walked to the next class. They entered, sat down but Bryan was still upset. His head facing down on the table looking like he is sleeping, but really he's crying. Nothing happened to him since this morning, or during the bus ride, or before school, so what was bothering him? He felt upset and trapped, he cried repeatedly. But no one asked to see what's up, no teacher cared to see what's going on. They treated him like a ghost, a ghost so invisible no one knows it was there. Taylor looked at him, feeling sad as she saw him being upset. She doesn't like seeing Bryan like this, she was upset when she saw him upset. The class ended, as it is now lunch break, Taylor speed walks towards Bryan and stays by his side, they both walked down the school path. Sitting on a bench under a tall old tree. They sat, at first it was just quiet. Bryan sat down facing the grass not doing much, as Taylor faced the grass as well.

"I know, you may feel uncomfortable talking about it. But I can see something is bothering you, what is it?" Taylor said kindly in a soft caring voice. She didn't know what to do, but she needed to know what's happening with him.

"Why whenever you want to say something, all you care about is the response after it? Like you fear that someone may take it the wrong way. Ending the friendship, all because they didn't like the truth?" Bryan said upsettingly, the tears were still flowing down his face.

"I don't know, sometimes people take things the wrong way. For one's beliefs, or stressful measures to respond." Taylor responds back to the words said by Bryan. "What are you afraid to say?" Taylor wondered.

"Nothing, just losing you I guess. It bothers me that I keep something hidden, but I'm afraid if I say, you would freak out. Sorry not saying that in a bad way." Bryan said sadly, as more tears were flowing. No sign of them ever drying up. Taylor put her arms around his shoulder, giving him a side hug as she wants him to feel comfortable and safe.

"You won't lose me, you ain't gonna get rid of me no matter what happens!" Taylor said happily, showing him that she cares, and won't leave. "What is the thing, you're hiding?" Taylor wondered once more; it was responded by quietness. A minute of absolutely nothing.

"Ok if I tell you, promise to not hate me?" He said worriedly. "Ok, I promise!" She responded happily, wondering what it could be. "I'm" he said and stopped to question everything. "I am" he said once more. "I'm, I am... Ga." He was too scared to speak, but he went this far no turning back! "I am... Gay" he said after having difficulty saying it. It went quiet quickly, like the skies above you were darkening in the fear of what one may say afterwards. Taylor was thinking, but then she knew what to do. She stood upwards, grabbing the arms of Bryan pulling him to stand up tall. Giving him the biggest, and greatest hug as the tears dried up.

"Your sexuality, whoever you love, is your business." She said happily. "But i'll be here for you. Always supporting and showing you my love for you. You'll always be my best friend no matter what!" She said while hugging him, as she felt happy. "You're still my friend, and i'm glad to call you, my bestie. You may be gay, but you're still my bestie." She said, as she couldn't believe that he said what was bothering him. She doesn't mind that he is gay, Bryan is her best friend and no matter what comes her way. She would always love Bryan, the same way she knew Bryan would always love her back.

They walked down the path, Bryan was feeling happier that he has finally got it off his chest. He didn't think that she would accept the fact he is gay. He thought, she was gonna hate him for it but, boy was he wrong. Sometimes the stressful thoughts in our mindset tells us one thing. Making us fear, and be afraid of who we are truly. But in life where we fear, and be afraid of being our true self. There will eventually show the light, a light so bright a dream of happiness may become reality. They walked down, down towards their next class waiting for the school day to eventually end!