How to Write Fiction

Showing Vs. Telling

No matter what stage of your writing career you are in, you've probably heard a lot about showing vs. telling. Like me, you may be SICK of hearing about it. But there's a reason we are all sick of it...it is a plague on the writing world! So, I'm going to break this down into a quick mini-lesson.

Showing is letting the reader EXPERIENCE the action, the setting, or the characters . Telling is just giving the reader information. TELLING IS BORING.

You have all sorts of weapons to combat boring storytelling in your arsenal of writing tools. Let's take a look at just a few of them.

Combat Telling with Action

This is telling:

She was surprised because she thought she was addressing another child and not a grown man.

This is showing:

When she finally looked up from the mess, and her eyes locked with his, her head snapped back in surprise. She took in his fancy clothes, then hid her flushed cheeks behind her hand.

Do you see the difference? They both give the same information-she's surprised and embarrassed because he is not who she expected. But, the second example is active; the first is not. I can share the experience with the characters in the second example. I can see it and feel it.

Never underestimate the power of a STRONG VERB.

Let's look at another example:

This is telling:

Marla heard a whisper coming from under her bed. She was afraid.

Hopefully, you can spot the telling in this right away. The 'Marla heard' is a pretty dead giveaway right off the bat. Now, do I mean that you can never use phrases like "she heard", "she knew that", "she saw"? Absolutely not! But, don't be a bum about it. Never let yourself become a lazy writer!

And as much as I appreciate short and to-the-point sentences, "she was afraid" is the epitome of being lazy! I mean, she just heard a voice under the bed and all the reader gets is "she was afraid"?

Let's try it again.

This is showing:

A small whisper rose from under the bed. "Marla."

Marla's heart was pounding so loud she could barely hear the voice. She pressed her eyes closed and cocooned herself inside her comforter.

Combat Telling with Dialogue

This is telling:

The surgeon is arrogant.

This is showing:

I considered his suggestion and looked back over my notes. "But, Dr. Woods specifically said for you to remove the tumor and not just sample it."

He lowered his head and cut his dark eyes up at me. "Well, that's because she's just a doctor, and I'm a surgeon."

Let your characters speak for themselves. You can get a lot of information about personality, education, self-worth, etc. just by how they speak.

Combat Telling with Sensory Details

This is telling:

Becky likes cookies.

This is showing:

Becky licked every morsel of melted chocolate chips off her fingertips.

Doesn't that just make your mouth water with chocolatey happiness? I don't need to tell you that Becky likes the cookies because you can see her licking her fingers!

Now, with all that being said, there will be times when telling is necessary. Your reader doesn't need a detailed account of how your character tied their shoes unless that is somehow integral to the plot...is your character a shoestring strangler? Probably not.

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@HardeeBurger won the dedication of this chapter for busting my chops about prepositional phrases. :)