The Tortoise and His Sunrise | ✓

16. Shame

I shifted slightly in my spot, trying to get more comfortable in the crook of the huge tree Nolan and I were nestled in. A few minutes earlier, he had piggybacked me up into the tree, completely freeing me from the effort of climbing.

He leaned away as if to give me some space.

"Sorry," I said. "Bad angle."

"Don't worry about it."

Finally, I settled on a position that wasn't putting excessive strain on my back.

"I'm good now," I said.

He returned his arm to rest around my waist. The sturdy weight of his arm felt reassuring on my back. I never wanted him to retract it.

Letting out a sigh, I looked up at the dark sky. I couldn't remember the last time we sat in a tree, only that it had to be a few years back.

"Today," Nolan said, "the guy who's been absent at all our project meetings—the one I told you about—showed up to class for our presentation."

I snorted. "Are you serious? What did you guys do?"

"We ignored him and presented on our own. Someone in my group had been informing the professor about his lack of contribution, so he only graded the rest of us."

"What did he say?" I asked, curious. "The guy, not the professor."

"His face got really red because we snubbed him in front of everyone, but he couldn't say anything. The professor asked him to stay back after class."

"That's got to be embarrassing."

"For sure," Nolan said. "How about you? How was your day?"

As I rested my head on his shoulder, I said, "Nothing eventful happened. It was a good day."

"Good."

The forest air was damp against my cheeks. Despite hearing some scurrying noises beneath our tree, I couldn't see anything that was making them when I peeked down.

"There's this café I want to go to," I said, turning to Nolan. "I know we don't really go to food places, but their pancake special looks really good."

There was a medley of fruits placed on and around the tall stack of pancakes in the menu illustration, and the sight of it had me drooling.

"We can go next week," he said. "You don't have to avoid restaurants when we go out for my sake, you know."

This wasn't the first time he'd said that. Nolan reminded me of this every now and then, insisting that I should get to sit down for a meal too.

"I know."

"I can enjoy the atmosphere even if I don't eat."

In the past, I had wistfully thought about how nice it would be if we could go to restaurants or cafés and try different foods and share them like every other normal couple. I had wanted to go in the day, when the lighting would be nice for photo-taking, although I didn't mind having to go out only in the evenings because of Nolan's condition.

To be honest, now I preferred just hiking in forests and parks after sunset. At least in these secluded spots, I could hold his hand without fear of other people looking. I didn't have to endure that awful spike of anxiety that pierced through my entire being every time he put his arm over my shoulders.

"I know. Thanks, Nolan."

His other arm circled around me from the front, pulling me into a tight embrace. His action had my face pressed up against his collar bone, and I inhaled the deeply comforting scent emanating from his soft T-shirt.