There's My Last Chance - Anderperry Timeloop AU

15th of December

Todd woke up and the sun was shining.

"Hey, sleepyhead. You're finally up!" Neil said.

Neil took Todd's silence as him just waking up, but really, Todd was observing him.

Was it possible that this energetic boy was the same one who would kill himself later that day? It couldn't be true, that much of a change in the span of an hour after the play. But it was true.

"Listen, could you cover for me in Trig? I have to skip for the final dress rehearsal."

Todd nodded.

"Thanks!" Neil said, and looked like he wanted to say something else, but instead, he shook his head and left, leaving his books behind.

Todd managed to not say a single word all day long. It was actually easy, him being the one with the reputation for not talking.

It wasn't fucking fair. Todd was there in time. He stopped it. And Neil still died.

He was certain that if any noise left his mouth, it would turn into a spew of what had happened the night before, with the letter opener and the blank stare.

So he stayed quiet.

He skipped the play, and slid a note under Charlie's door.

"Tell Cap I don't feel well. Tell Neil good luck for me."

He was almost physically sick writing that last part out, knowing exactly what Neil intended to do. But he had to maintain some sense of normalcy, or Charlie would get suspicious, and under normal circumstances, Todd would never miss Neil's play without at least talking to him.

He now had a new advantage. He knew what time Neil was going to try it.

He tortured himself over it. He knew more about Neil's death than anyone else, he carried that burden all by himself.

What would it have been like, Todd wondered, if he hadn't shown up when he did? How long would Neil have sat there before raising that gun to his head? Where would he have put it? His temple, his forehead, up through his chin?

It was a grizzly thing to imagine, yet Todd couldn't stop himself.

So after the poets left, Todd headed out, timing it so he'd show up at Neil's house just a couple minutes before he'd walked in on him the last time.

He took the time to pull the window up all the way, and close it behind him. He knew he'd have time.

He didn't go searching through the house. Todd walked right to Mr. Perry's study and let himself in.

And there, as to be expected, was Neil, practically glowing in the moonlight.

"Todd?" he asked.

Todd shrugged.

He stood in the doorway, face partially hidden in shadow. Neil couldn't see him well, save for his sharp blue eyes.

For a while, they stayed frozen in silence, a deadly standoff. Todd's expression was harsh and cold, Neil's was confused and hollow. Neither boy really felt like themselves, more like a caricature of roles they were meant to be playing.

"Y'know, I've watched you die before."

Neil didn't respond. His grip on the cloth-bound weapon tightened slightly, but he continued to stare straight forward.

"Is anything I say going to stop you?"

Neil met his eyes, and shook his head slightly.

Todd sighed. "Get on with it, then."

And at that cue of permission, Neil shot himself in the head. An intimate thing that only Todd would ever see.

Todd let himself out the door and walked out into the night.

He checked his watch. The poets should be by the frozen waterfall by now, according to his recollection of the original night. It was difficult finding his way through the woods in the dark, but not impossible, and soon Todd came across the ruckus.

They were singing, dancing. Neil was dead and they were dancing. But of course, they didn't know. Todd intended to change that.

So far, that's what seemed to restart the loop. The announcement. They all had to know. They had to know or it wouldn't work.

"Hey, Todd!" Charlie said, beckoning him over. "Glad you're feeling better. Come dance!"

Todd cleared his throat. "Neil shot himself," he said, loud enough to be heard by everybody.

The party came to a halt.

"So, uh...I guess I'll go to bed."

And Todd walked away before he could see the look of horror on their faces, hear the cries out to a lost soul.