There's My Last Chance - Anderperry Timeloop AU

15/12/59

Todd woke up and the sun was shining. It was sick. The sun was shining like nothing had happened. How dare it?

"Hey, sleepyhead. You're up!" Neil said from across the room.

"Good morning," Todd mumbled, dazed.

"Hey listen," Neil started.

Todd agreed to cover for him in Trig.

"Neil...wait, Neil!"

Neil put down his bike, confused as to why Todd was running at him. He was just about to head off to rehearsal as planned.

"Todd? I have to go, what are you-?'

"I love you." Todd stared at him, waiting for his reaction. This could work, telling him the truth. Was that the key? Was that the missing piece of the puzzle?

"Oh, Todd..." Neil sighed. "What are you doing?"

"I'm telling you."

Neil grabbed his hand, pulling him against the wall of the gate, where they were both comfortably out of sight from anyone in the school.

"Don't say that unless you mean it. Please," Neil said, looking him straight in the eye.

Todd kept his expression matter-of-fact. He tried not to remember the way Neil's eyes had looked dead, how eerily similar they looked right now. He shook his head once, then repeated himself, albeit a little quieter. "I love you."

Neil seemed to go through several emotions at once: delight, shock, acceptance, and then went in for the kiss.

Todd had been waiting for this moment. When all pretenses of 'roomate's were ignored, when he could really be honest with himself, and with Neil for that matter.

With Neil's lips pressed against his, warm and delicate, he felt like he could do anything. He could stop Neil's death, even if it meant defying the laws of the universe. He could live forever.

Neil eventually pulled away, and Todd leaned back against the wall.

He looked at Neil in his perfect, brown eyes. "This is going to be the best one yet," Todd said.

"What?"

"Don't kill yourself."

"Oh?"

"Ever."

Neil nodded, brow furrowed in confusion. "Alright..." he said.

"I mean it," Todd pushed.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Promise you'll come to talk to me first, because I was just vulnerable with you, okay? Promise you'll come and be vulnerable with me," Todd spoke with an uncharacteristic intensity.

"I promise," Neil said, still confused.

Todd nodded in satisfaction. "Okay," he said, and hugged Neil. "Okay. Have a good rehearsal."

"Thanks..." Neil said, but still rode off despite his concerns.

It was maybe the first play that Todd could all the way enjoy. By now, he knew the beats of the evening all laid out. He was ready for this time loop to be over with, to wake up on December 16th.

After leaving the play, he watched Neil be dragged off by his father, but didn't see that same emptiness that he'd seen all those nights before. Neil was still here. He hadn't been broken.

Would it be cheesy to say Todd's love would keep him alive? Maybe it was, but Todd had decided it was true.

And he went to sleep that night with a feeling of peace he hadn't felt in far too long.

"Todd?"

Charlie was once again shaking him awake.

Todd felt his heart drop.

No. No. This can't be happening.

In a panic, he glanced over at Neil's bed, finding it empty yet again.

Meek's eyes lingered on Neil's bed, and Todd wanted to scream.

NO. NO. THIS ISN'T HAPPENING.

He focused back on Charlie. "No," Todd said, too quiet for Charlie to hear. So Charlie went on.

"Neil's dead. H-his house caught fire last night, and-"

"No!" Todd yelled.

"Todd..." Charlie started.

"This isn't fair! I-I learned my...I saved him! He was going to live this time!" Todd thrashed around wildly.

"I know, Todd," Knox said. He was crying. He was crying. The fuck he did not know. He didn't know shit.

"Get out of my room," Todd said, cold and biting.

A silence. No one knew what to do.

Todd reached over and grabbed his alarm clock. He threw it at the doorframe, barely missing Pitts, and it shattered.

"I said get out," Todd said, looking even more menacing with tears flowing down his cheeks.

The boys quickly filed out, Charlie shutting the door behind him.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair.