Loving Her is Red

Four

YOUR POV

The burn on my arm is going to scar and it won't be pretty. Currently the burn covers my left shoulder, bicep and half way down my forearm. I need help cleaning and covering it because it's got glass and other debris in it but I refuse to let Natasha touch me right now, especially after she was going to leave me in that car.

- Yelena : You didn't say one word about Dreykov's daughter. You killed her

- Natasha : I had to. I needed her to lead me to Dreykov. Dreykov's daughter was collateral damage. I needed her to be sure

- Yelena : And here you are, not so sure

- Natasha : I needed out. I needed to get out and make something of my life and find Y/n. Who, by the way, needs to let me look at that burn

- y/n : Natasha I swear to god if you touch me I'm leaving. Respect my boundaries and leave me alone

- Natasha : No. You're being stubborn. Either I do it or Yelena does but we're not leaving until someone helps you clean and cover that burn and I'm telling you now, I will be more gentle about it then Yelena

I'm not getting out of here. She'd hold me down and make sure I didn't get an infection or more irritated.

- y/n : This doesn't mean I forgive you

- Natasha : I wouldn't expect you to

- y/n : Ow

- Natasha : This is going to hurt, a lot.

- y/n : Ow, fuck. Oh my god. Stop, Nat stop. Please

- Natasha : We need to get it out Y/n. Yelena?

- Yelena : I'll hold her down, you focus on the glass

- Natasha : I'm sorry. I'm so sorry

Fuck both of them. Yelena is holding my head to the floor way too hard and has shoved way too much fabric in my mouth to muffle my screams and Nat made my arm bled worse then it was. It was only
bleeding a little where the glass ripped my skin but there was no heat to cauterise the wounds so my arm is just bleeding now. Safe to say I passed out so now Natasha has dragged us to a shop to get something to up my blood sugar for the time being.

- Natasha : If the Red Room is still active, where is it?

- Yelena : I have no idea. He moves location constantly. And every widow is sedated on entry and exit for maximum security

- Natasha : I'm just finding it hard to believe that he could stay off my radar

- Yelena : Well it's not smart to attack and Avenger if you want to stay hidden. I mean, the clue is in the name. Dreykov kills you, one of the big ones comes to avenge you

- y/n : One of the big ones?

- Yelena : Well, I doubt a god from space has to take an Ibuprofen after a fight

- Natasha : Have you found Ibuprofen?

- y/n : Yep

Natasha is insisting I take a painkiller as if I wasn't going to as soon as I got some at this gas station anyway.

- Yelena : Where did you think I was all this time?

- Natasha : I thought that you got out and were living a normal life

- Yelena : And you just never made contact again?

- Natasha : Honestly, I thought you didn't want to see me

- Yelena : Ha, bullshit. You just didn't want you baby sister to tag along whilst you saved the world with the cool kids

- Natasha : You weren't really my sister

- Yelena : And the Avenegers aren't really your family

That was petty. Family isn't always blood, my father isn't my family but Wanda is. Wanda is as much of a sister to me as Maria is. I know Yelena classes Nat as family and deep down Nat still classes Yelena as family.

- Yelena : Why do you always do that thing?

- Natasha : Do what?

- Yelena : That thing you do when you're fighting. This thing that you do when you whip your hair when you're fighting with the arm and the hair. And you do like, a fighting pose. It's a fighting pose. You're a total poser

- Natasha : I'm not a poser

- Yelena : Oh, come on. I mean, they're great poses, but it does look like you think everyone's looking at you, like, all the time

- Natasha : I'm not a poser, right Y/n?

- y/n : Maybe a little

- Yelena : Ha, even the backup agrees

That's just my name now. I'm the back up. Not Y/n, not Natasha's girlfriend, I'm the back up.

- Natasha : All that time that I spent posing, I was trying to actually do something good to make up for all the pain and suffering that we caused. Trying to be more than just a trained killer

- Yelena : Well then you were fooling yourself because pain and suffering is everyday and we are both still a trained killer. Except I'm not the one that's on the cover of a magazine. I'm not the killer that little girls call their hero

And there's another hurtful comment. Natasha is trying, she isn't a killer. She's saved more lives then she has taken. Yelena walking out of the store gives me a few minutes alone with Nat

- y/n : She's wrong, you know?

- Natasha : Is she?

- y/n : Yes, she is. Come here, I'm sorry I'm mad at you

- Natasha : Does this mean your not mad at me anymore?

- y/n : I'm still mad but you needed a hug and I still love you

- Natasha : I love you too. I'm sorry for helping Yelena and forgetting you were in the car, I'm also sorry that we didn't help that Widow. I'm sorry I snapped at you too

- y/n : I'm sorry I snapped at you in the vents

- Natasha : How does it feel?

- y/n : It still burns but not too badly. I don't think I'll be sleeping on the side anymore

- Natasha : I can't even hug you in bed now. I really fucked up

- y/n : It'll be fine eventually. Come on, pay for this and let's go. Yelena is waiting for us

This has been a very chaotic trip, when we get back to the compound I am going to sleep for literal days.

Authors Note
Have a drink and
a snack please