22 February, 1977
Derek watched through the haze of smoke as George quietly strummed his guitar and Stevie sat cross-legged beside him, furiously scribbling half formed thoughts that he knew she would somehow weave into a song.
They'd found themselves holed up more and more frequently at the house of George Harrison and his girlfriend, Olivia. In the weeks since they had rekindled their affair they'd come to regard the place as a haven where they could be together freely without judgement or the risk of being discovered.
Derek knew he was playing a dangerous game, but he was also aware he was as addicted to Stevie as she was to that vile powder she was using more and more. He'd asked her to stop but of course it had fallen on deaf ears. 'It's fine, it just helps me work.'
As he looked at her now, leaning on her crossed legs, hair in pigtails, she seemed at first glance little more than a child. But as she lifted her eyes from her paper, subconsciously knowing as she always did that he was watching her, he saw the strain in her features.
She'd lost weight, her once full face now melted away to reveal high cheekbones. Her eyes were dark and she had a world weary look about her - he'd watched the boys go through the same once the full impact of fame hit and hardened them. She was about to go on a year long world tour and her voice was already starting to give out. He'd seen too many stars burn with the intensity she now had, and they always burnt out the quickest.
He blamed himself partly, for helping to pull her up out of the shadows of her male counterparts and to help focus the world's gaze onto her. Of course anyone could see she was a stand alone talent from the moment Rhiannon had hit the airwaves, but she had moved into another stratosphere in the past few months. He wanted to protect her from what he knew was to come, but he knew he couldn't. He had to let her go.
"Hey." She clambered to her feet and made her way over to him, sitting in his lap and combing her fingers through his hair. "You seemed lost in thought there."
"I was."
"Shall we go to sleep?"
This was a strange lie they'd both convinced themselves of. It was a euphemism - Olivia had set aside a guest room for them but they never stayed the night. One or both of them would always be back home before morning; they hadn't woken up together since Mexico.
"Sure."
They said goodnight to their hosts and left hand in hand, their feet instinctively heading to the bedroom. Stevie felt a sense of impending doom she couldn't shake. The tour started in a few days and the schedule was intensive. She'd once again ended her entanglement with Don a few days before; there was no loyalty between either of them, they'd developed some kind of friends with benefits arrangement, and it was going to be easier to simply not think about him while she was away.
Paul was still on the scene too; he was keen to sign her to his new label and the lines were becoming increasingly blurred between their professional and personal relationships. But she was still in love with Derek. She squeezed his hand a little tighter as he led her silently into their bedroom and closed the door. Instead of either of them initiating anything, they both stood apart, unable to make eye contact.
After a few moments, Derek moved to the window, gazing out at the twinkling lights of LA's urban sprawl. Stevie settled on the edge of the bed, swinging her feet slightly and waiting for him to speak. Eventually he cleared his throat.
"I'm not sure how to start this."
"Shall I?"
He turned his head slightly and glanced at her over his shoulder before nodding.
"I think...I think it's over, isn't it?" She watched his shoulders tighten but he said nothing. "I think with the tour, and your wife - it's any day before she finds out - and everything, I think it's over."
Her voice cracked as she said the final words and he broke down too, moving to where she sat and sinking to the floor at her feet.
"I'm so sorry."
"Don't be."
She stroked his hair and for a while they remained like that, both quietly crying as they came to terms with what was happening. No fighting, no drama, just accepting what they'd known was going to come all along.
"I love you."
"I know. I love you. And I owe you so much. You changed my life, and I'll never forget that. Do you hear me?"
He nodded and looked up into her face.
"I have to let you go."
"I know."
Derek rose slowly to his feet, gently taking his head into her hands. Stevie placed hers on his hips, pulling him slightly into her as she tilted up to him. Their tears mingled as they kissed, never parting as they slowly and quietly undressed before lying back and surrendering to each other one last time.
It was Stevie who wordlessly climbed out of the bed after several hours spent making love and laying in each others arms. Derek watched her pull on her clothes and move to the door.
"I love you, beautiful child."
"I'm not a child. Not anymore."
