"I still wonder about it," I said.
His brow furrowed, eyes searching my expression. "Wonder about what?"
"Whether you're the villain in my story."
~~~~~~~
Mara Monroe is at the center of a war she wanted no part in.
But with her new throne she fac...
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"I can't believe..." my lip wobbled, "I'm crying like this— I don't normally— but..."
"But nothing. Nobody ever needs to apologize for crying, you stupid idiot," Ellie said.
I sobbed out a laugh. "How comforting. Seriously, everybody needs a course in learning how to comfort people."
She squeezed my shoulder. "You're still my stupid idiot. You could never change enough to change that. And I love you, you stupid idiot."
"I love you too, even though you're a pain in my ass and want to offer yourself up on a silver platter to a bunch of vampires."
My best friend laughed.
"Hey, I stand by that plan. Even if your boyfriend thinks it's stupid."
"We both think it's stupid and he's not my boyfriend."
I shoved away the remaining tears with the palm of my hand, feeling a little lighter but nowhere near normal. But for now, a little lighter was good enough.
Okay, now it was officially like one of our old sleepovers. Talking and staying up way too late. None of the boys I used to talk about were fey lords who betrayed me, but the staying up late was still the same.
"He really does love you, you know that?"
I sucked in a breath. "Yeah, I know."
Because I did know that.
"And you?"
"And I..." I trailed off, not quite sure what I was going to say when I began but hoping I could find the words somewhere in the middle. "I don't know."
"You don't know?" my best friend prodded.
"I know that I don't hate him anymore."
"A rousing romantic sentiment."
I chuckled and shrugged a little. My best friend gave me a look— one that said she didn't completely believe me when I said 'I don't know' and maybe she was right. Maybe I did know. But right now I wasn't capable of thinking about it.
"It's all I can offer," I said, "we're visiting a vampire horde soon, I think we've got bigger things to worry about."
She arched a brow. "Don't try that shit with me."
"What?" I asked.
"That shit where you try and pretend like your feelings— no matter what they are— aren't valid or don't deserve to be felt. You're allowed to feel whatever it is you feel and you don't have to apologize or make up excuses not to feel them."
