Chapter 39

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I heard the shouting around me as though it was coming through water

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I heard the shouting around me as though it was coming through water. Like the gurgle of someone's last breath. Like the muffled drone of noises before I fainted.

But I was still conscious, still looking into the face of the man that I loved— bruised and bloodied and fighting for the life he tried to take. The magic I needed to save him— the magic I couldn't summon. Try as I might, the magic wouldn't come.

Maybe it was because it wasn't his soul, his Élan Vital, that was in danger. Maybe because the more he faded, the more my Élan Vital went with him.

"I had a plan," I choked out, tapping my fist against his chest, and resisting the urge to beat it against him. "My goddamned magic isn't working. It's not working, Cedric. But it's okay— it's fine. I'm going to get it to work. You're going to be fine."

Vampires and fey alike fought around us. Maeve and Porter brought only their oldest vampires— the ones with the most self-control who wouldn't attack any innocents— at least, those were the terms of the letter that I wrote to her before we left the Summer court. The fair folk couldn't portal into the Autumn court. Cenred told me that himself a long time ago. But nobody ever drew up wards against vampires.

So, as my soldiers marched on the Spring court and the Winter soldiers infiltrated the Autumn court, the Autumn Keep was being attacked from within. Now Cenred was fighting on three fronts. And Cedric was dying on the stone floor of the throne room, and I could do nothing to stop it.

"Sh, Mara love, it's okay," his voice was labored, heavy. One blood soaked hand reached up to tuck my hair away from my face, matting it with red. I didn't care. He frowned and stroked his index against my jaw. "You're hurt."

Terrified hysteria rose in my chest and I let out a laugh through my sob.

"You're dying," I pointed out, "don't you worry about me."

"Impossible."

"Cedric, I—"

Chaos was bursting around us, with screams of terror and bloodshed blooming from every part of the room and every side of us. Still, it was as though there was a shield around us protecting us in this moment from whatever else was happening. In that shield I could pretend that everything was alright. The moment I left it... no.

"Do you know the words?" he coughed and when I looked confused, he continued, "the last rites. I— I need you to say them for me. Please. I need to know that I'm... that after—"

"I love you," I said, "I had a plan. You're an idiot, and I love you."

His chuckle was quiet, barely a laugh and more like a high breath. His head leaned back on the stone, his eyes drifting shut but his face was peaceful.

"Those aren't the words, Princess. But I needed those just as much."

I blinked back the growing flood of tears in my eyes. Not Cedric. Not Cedric. Please. Not Cedric.

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