Conflicting Desires

Chapter Eleven

Tripp

"Did you call Lil J?" Jean asks while she grabs the rag that I was using to wipe the counter, so I will focus all my attention on her.

Lil J is Axel's friend who gave me his card after hearing me perform on Saturday.

"No," I reply, as I lean on the counter ready for an earful.

"Why the hell not? Axel said you really impressed Lil J and would like you to come over to this studio." Jean sounds more excited about all this is than me.

"His studio is out of town, I can't leave work and I haven't talked to Audrey about-"

She interrupts, "What's there to talk about? This could be it for you."

I sigh. "There were a lot of things I thought could be it for me but look, I am still here."

I don't have the same excitement that I usually have. Too many disappointments can take a toll on someone. But then when I think about it, I am in too deep to quit now.

"Don't be like that. I really think you should call Lil J, You have to go to the studio, and I'll cover for you here. And I'm sure Audrey would be as excited for you."

Audrey, I don't know how she feels about my music. I know she has tried and I am grateful but then I want my number one fan back.

I miss us.

I miss our long drives out of town just for me to sing in a crappy bar. I miss hearing her cheer me on with the biggest smile on her perfect face. I miss locating her in the crowd. I miss her wanting to listen to me sing.

Now I feel like I am walking on eggshells around her, can't even talk about my music. I fear I will piss her off and she will leave. I can already feel this strain and she doesn't want to talk about it. 

I'll die if she leaves me.

"Yeah, I don't know," I mutter.

I can't tell Audrey about this new opportunity because what if it's a dead end? I can't raise her hopes again. She tries not to show it but it's in her eyes, the disappointment. It breaks my heart every time.

"Ughh," Jean groans before grabbing my phone from the counter.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I ask, stretching to get my phone back.

Jean races towards the chairs, holding my phone above her head. I am too lazy to climb over the counter and chase her, so I let her do what she wants to do.

"Let me help you out since you are being a sad loser." She says, looking down at my phone, probably searching through my contacts.

"How do you know my password?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Oh shut up," She dismisses my question.

I fold my arms watching her in amusement, "I haven't even saved his number."

Jean looks up from the phone. "Asshole," She cusses as she walks back to the counter.

"Can I get my phone back?" I ask stretching my hand.

"Only if you promise to call," She urges stretching the phone above her head like I couldn't easily get it if I really wanted to.

"I will," I say.

"Good," She says dropping the phone.

I swipe the phone from the counter. "What?" I call out feeling her eyes on me.

"Call him now." She says drumming on the counter in anticipation.

"You are insufferable," I say in defeat as I bring out the card from my back pocket.