Conflicting Desires

Chapter Fourteen

"Thanks for picking me up," Ryan says after minutes of sitting in silence. This is probably his attempt to start a conversation and this gives me a headache. 

"Don't flatter yourself. I just needed to get out of the house." 

The house, that's where I left Audrey sleeping in my bed, all I wanted is to lay there and watch her sleep but my fear of her waking up was greater. I fear I would have to explain why I was acting so weird last night, why I disappeared, and why I was drunk. 

This fear is one amongst other feelings I have when Audrey is around and it's so foreign. It makes my stomach flutter and my heart race. 

To be honest, my anger last night had nothing to do with her. I was mad at myself for being so stupid, letting myself get into that fantasy, to begin with.

"You know someone who's so adamant about staying in Chicago, you seem to be coming to New York a lot." I adjust my glasses, taking my eyes from the window to my brother's.

"Came to see your life fall apart up close," He mocks. 

"Ha ha you would love that, wouldn't you?" I roll my eyes. This action makes my head hurt. I am still hungover from last night. 

"Thought you will be more receptive of your darling twin who took a jet first thing in the morning to check on you." 

"Aww, I feel so special." 

"Lay it on me, what's been going on with you sis?" He locks his phone, giving me his full attention. 

"Nothing,"

Don't know who's talking to me now, Mum's henchman or my twin. 

"So you didn't arrive at Ashley's divorce party with a woman who was later revealed to be straight and engaged. And you didn't get shit-faced drunk upon revelation?" He raises an eyebrow. 

Fucking loose mouth Kyle, 

"Why are you here Ry?" I start, looking at the man wearing sweatpants and probably the first shirt he could find to come here. "You know what? I will tell you why you are here. You are bored. You are always bored when I am not around. But you won't move to New York because that will just prove how co-dependent you are and Mum will be right when she calls you my fucking shadow."  I finish, breathing out like I was holding my breath the whole time.

I had hoped that, saying these things will ease my anger but now I feel bad. And Ryan is quiet. He is never quiet. 

I turn and look out the window where I see a welcome signboard for the bar ahead.

"John, stop the car ahead. I need a fucking drink." I say rubbing my forehead in frustration.

"It is 10 am in the morning, you can't be serious."

It's kind of ironic that I am receiving a lecture from Ryan. Guess this is what my life has turned into now.

"You wanted to see my life fall apart up close. Well, grab a front-row seat." I say.

Once the car stops, I immediately open the door and get out of the car, slamming the door behind me. I try to cover my face under the scorching sun as I make my way into the bar.

~~~

My eyes go to the entrance of the bar where Ryan walks in. I expected him to wait for at least 10 minutes before following me in, guess he isn't as mad as I thought.

Scratch that, maybe he is.

He is walking towards the counter to the petite bartender with a smug smile on his face. Of course, he is thinking of getting his dick wet while his sister is brokenhearted.