𝒐𝒖𝒓 [ 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 ] 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒃𝒐𝒐𝒌 ➼ She's tired of it―she's tired of it all. Watching from behind. Sneaking peaks, never being able to say: I love you.
Having crushed on the same boy for a long time Isa has realised that it's time for a change. B...
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To my luck the classroom seems to be empty by the time I arrive. Not even the teacher is here. So I glide my way over to my seat, resting my head on the bench as I close my eyes. Letting the chill air conditioner cool my heating body. I should probably feel sad right now. But I can't seem to. Maybe I'm just too tired.
That wasn't anything new after all, just the usual loser-ish day for good ol' Isabella Harper. I let out a dry chuckle and close my eyes, hoping that the sound of my beating heart will drown out all other noise.
I'm forced to open my eyes when all the students come rumbling in: loud and annoying, as usual.
Poor Miss. Parker looks like a mess trying to settle down the class, waving her hands in worry and gesturing for everyone to take their seats and be quiet for once.
I watch it all with one eye open. Instead of sitting up I keep my chin on the desk, my body slumped down, half asleep while also being too exhausted to stand firm.
• ღ •
Lunch soon arrives, the whole class gone as quickly as they came. I don't know how but somehow I survived my two morning lessons with Noah.
Though the whole time I was on edge since I couldn't allow myself to breathe in his presence. I learned pretty early on that if I want to survive being near my crush then I need to know how to trick myself into believing he isn't there.
Never look at him.
Never speak to him.
Unless it is completely necessary.
Of course, one will always be aware of their crush's presence.
But that doesn't mean you can't pretend that you aren't.
I look over to my seatmate's desk. Seatmate meaning Noah — my crush. He left it pretty messy, with a few books and notes spiraled all over it.
Somehow, I can tell bits of his personality just based on the way he keeps his desk. Personally, I think it applies to everyone, but it's not everyone that I care about. I haven't talked to Noah much, or ever really, but just from the way he keeps his desk I can imagine that he has a pretty loose and chill personality.
Not one who is too rigid and strict with order. Him having so many friends is another good judge of that though. I've seen the way he laughs and goes along with his friends, but honestly although it looks like that I'd say he's the one leading them.
He's just so natural with it you wouldn't notice. He's just so perfect.
Ah.
If I continue like this I'm gonna end up swooning soon! I look away from his desk and take out my box of cookies I'd baked and packed away this morning. The sweet, caramelized scent immediately drawing in my attention. But Noah still finds a way to invade my mind once I look down at my cookies.
They're... heart shaped. Could I have...? I didn't, did I? Don't tell me I baked these cookies with him in mind?
Oh, for goodness sake...
I swallow the thought with the cookies and try to act like that stupid revelation didn't just happen. As I take small bites of my heart shaped cookie I swing around the keychain plushie Noah had given to me a little earlier. Eyes lingered on it.
He'd held it, just a moment ago. I don't know if it's a sudden rush from the sugar or me honestly just being stupid but either way I stand up.
Holding my cookie box to my chest with one hand as the other grips on the keychain plushie. I may not be able to confess. Not today, or anytime soon really. But, I can at least try to accomplish this one goal. I'd baked these cookies with love. With love for him. So it'd be a waste to not let them go anywhere. I want to reach him.
Even if it's just a little bit.
I get out to the pretty empty hallway which I presume is because most are still in the cafeteria eating, but either way Noah seems to have gotten done fast as he's back at his locker. Picking up some books — which based on the vibrant blue I can see is our English book and the other; mossy green, the nature one.
"Noah!" I call out, shocked over how loud my voice came out. His brown eyes lock with mine, slight confusion clear in his face. Can't blame him honestly. I never go up to him first. If we ever do have any sort of interaction he's the one who initiates it. Actually, this is the second time I've called out to him today.
A new record.
The only record.
I scurry over to where he is, closing our distance. The box still warm in my hand, heating my body up more than it already is. The sensation prickly against my skin. "Hey, I..." I look around, trying to find my words. "I wanted to..." But my words are cut short when a hand wraps around mine.
"Bella! What's this you've got here?" Bianca's fangs invade my space and she snatches away my cookie box. Holding it in her grasp. "Cookies?" Her eyes widens in innocence. "You've always been a baker haven't you?" Noah looks between the two of us, clearly having no idea where this is going. He shoots us a smile, causing me to blush. Wait, Bianca is blushing too!
"Are... you two friends?" I try to swallow my spit but it's dry in my throat. Eyes widening from his words. Me? Friends with her? Never.
"N—"
"Yes! Childhood friends." Bianca beams.
"A–Anyway!" I force myself out of Biana's grasp. Noah's eyes land on me. "I wanted to—"
"Alright, let's go Bella. There's this boy I'm into, and I just have to tell you about him." Bianca giggles, her eyes lingering on Noah's gaze. I can see how Noah's body stiffens from it. Is it disgust? Or is it flusteredness? Which is it...?!
Before my mind can analyze what I've just seen Bianca is already on her way to pull me away. Noah giving us both an awkward wave.
Bianca pulls me to one of the deserted hallways, the one students rarely pass since the lights don't work and the spot never ever gets cleaned. How cliche. I hold back an eye roll as Bianca pushes me onto the wall. The wall making a soft thud from the force.
"We're friends right, Bella?" Her voice is soft and sweet, but knowing her, that tone is one that can't be trusted. It's the tone she uses when she wants to draw in someone gullible.
"My name," I give her a glare, "is Isabella. Get it right." She rolls her eyes.
"Isa, Bella, Bell. Doesn't matter." Her hand slams to the side of my face, onto the wall, her expression having darkened even with the smile still on her face. "All I care about is what happened earlier. What was that?"
"What was what?" I look away, shrinking in her gaze. She forcibly makes me look at her by grabbing my chin, turning my eyes right back at her.
"It can't be...?" Her brows knit together, her eyes darting as if she's just discovered something. "Is poor little Isabella trying to shoot her shot?" Her eyes widen and soon a sinister laugh shoots out of her. "I can't believe it! You think you have a shot with him?"
The way she enunciates her 'You' and 'Him' really makes me feel the difference between us. Is it really that big? I bite my lower lip, slapping her hand away from my chin.
"It doesn't have anything to do with you. Bianca."
"Oh? But it does." She smiles. She backs away, patting my shoulder as she does. "Good luck with that crush of yours Bella." She shoots me a soft smile.
