Mha x depressed reader

Chapter 5. Anorexic?

Tw. ⚠️ Anorexic behaviors and cutting.

Second person pov: It's the weekend and it's been three weeks since you first cut. You've done it almost every day since. However this is not the end of your unhealthy behaviors.

First person pov: I'm pacing around my room listening to music worrying about how my weight hasn't gone down when I remember something bakugo said. Around 1-2 weeks ago Bakugo mentioned that even if your eating 1000 calories per day (the bare minimum to keep your body from thinking it's starving) "you can always eat less". Maybe.......maybe I should eat less. Maybe I'll start eating 200-300 calories per day, yeah that would work. Wait that's how eating disorders start......but I really want to lose weight so I guess starting tomorrow I'll eat 200-300 calories.

At school Lunchtime the next day: I sit down at my lunch table to eat an apple, two oranges, a yogurt, and my diet friendly protein shake. This is the only meal I'm eating today but my friends don't know that. "Kiri I can't wait to train with after lunch" I ask. "Me to but I don't know if I'll be able to keep up against that manly ultimate move of yours" he responds jokingly. I giggle a little and say "yeah right I'm sure you could handle a flaming tsunami punch in your sleep" "No way but... I'm sure kami could" kiri says quietly as he stares down at his hardened fist. I know that kiri looks down on himself and compares himself to kami but I wish he could see himself the way I do, the way we all do. He's got a great work ethic and is very kind, sometimes I just wish he had more confidence in himself. "Come on stop looking so depressed only I'm allowed to look like that" I say with a little laugh. He rolls his eye and says "stop acting so emo". He's started to say that to me a lot and it kind of hurts because it's like he's dismissing how I feel but I don't say anything about it. Instead we carry on laughing and talking about stupid things until it's training time. Today we're doing one on one fights and if you couldn't tell, me and kiri are fighting each other. We get in our positions and begin to training. I encase kiri in in stone because I know that he won't expect it. However just like I expected he broke out quickly but losses some energy doing so. This is pretty bad news for him because we're using the same rules form the last game of the U. A. Tournament. Meaning he's either got to push me out of bounds or knock me out. kiri is pretty gentle around me so he'll likely push me out of bounds but he'll have to have a lot energy sense he knows I wont go easily. I encase him 10 more times then wait to see how worn out he is. Kiri breaths heavily then says "you've got a lot in  you y/n" "thanks" I say. "To bad you don't have enough" he yell's right before coming at me with a barrage of punches. Even I'll admit I didn't expect that out of kiri, he's so intent on winning this match. Thankfully I think quickly and and put up a diamond shield. It's hard to hold my ground like this, with so much pressure punching me backwards. To make matters worse I can feel my stomach growling so hard it hurts and a lot at that. I've got to think quickly kiri already has pushed me a few steps away from out of bounds and I didn't eat enough to get the energy for my ultimate move. In a desperate move I put an inferno in a circle around me hoping that the heat from it is enough to make kiri shy away. "Y'ow!" Yells kiri, pulling his arms away. Suddenly I got an idea, I form a large line of extremely hot flames that keeps me and kiri on separate sides of it. Then I walk forward the line always staying a few feet in front of me. Once I get to kiri he's standing on the edge of the concrete plate form we're standing on (A/N you guys are at the stadium where the U. A. tournament so picture that) "you tried hard" I say as I made the flames move toward kiri. Kiri steps out of bounds and Present Mic proclaims that I've won the match. Kiri and I start talking to each other as we go back to our seats. "I didn't hurt you did I?" Asks Kiri. "No I'm fine" I say only slightly lying. I know Kiri and if he knew he hurt me he'd give tons of the apologies and the "are you okay's". While it's sweet I just don't want him to sweat it. Besides it's just a black eye and a few cuts nothing major like a broken  bone. "So why didn't you use your ultimate move?" Asks Kiri. Making up a lie on the spot and saying convincingly might I add, I respond with "I'm just tired and it takes a lot out of me" Kiri nods and we arrive at our seats. Our friends congratulate me on my win as Kiri is tell that he tried hard and put up an excellent fight. Me and kami get to talking when I suddenly remember I need to take off my costume and cover up my black eye with make up "I'll be right back I need to change" I say. Kami nods and I head to the bathroom. After changing and taking off my mask I look in the mirror. My black eye is not as bad as I expected. It'll probably be gone in a day or so. I quickly covered it up with concealer and rejoined my friends in the stands.

Second person POV: you enjoy talking with your friends and watching the matches until it's time to go as a group to Mr. Azawa to get a review of your moves and strategies. Eventually Mr. Azawa got to your and Kiri's fight.

"Kirishima you may have lost the fight however don't let that discourage you. You did very well given the obvious disadvantage you were at due to the nature of your quirk being good at short range attacks. You fought hard and near won which is very impressive" says Mr. Azawa "thank you sir" responds Kiri. I have to say I really agree with Mr. Azawa on this one. Kiri fought hard and did well especially with his disadvantage. I'm also proud of myself which doesn't happen very often but I managed to fight off Kiri even though he fought so hard. "I wish I could say the same for you y/n. You had a good strategy in the beginning, tiring out Kirishima so You'd be at an advantage however when he began to attack you instead of returning to that plan you got scared and put up a sheild. Then despite knowing Kirishima can handle high temperatures you put up a wall of flames and hoped that it was enough heat that he'd pull away. Out of shire luck he did, if you had done that in a real fight you'd have died because the layout of the terrain would be different" Mr. Azawa says in a very gruff way. He moves on talking about how the other groups did but I'm just standing there trying not to cry eyes watering but thankfully not getting blood shot. I was so dumb to be proud of myself, I did a horrible job Kiri did ten times better than me. How could I be this stupid. I just want to go to bed and cry my eyes out. I feel that feeling worsening. I say worsening because it's be on and off throughout the day and alway far worse than it was the first time I ever felt it but now it feels even worse than that it's almost indescribable.

Second person POV: what feels like forever to you, you and the rest of your class get back to the dorms. Some people stay in the common room but you go to your bedroom.

First person POV: I walk into my bedroom close and lock the door. I go straight to my knife pull down my pants and since I ran out of room around a I my hips so I cut on my ass. I start scraping the blade across my skin applying quite a bit of pressure as I do. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Six cuts. After the first time I did it I'd make only one cut but as the weeks went on and the amount of times per day I'd cut myself grew so did the number of them. This was the second time today I've done this and honestly it's been working less and less. The feelings always come back and I'm left in just as much emotional pain as before. Sigh as I cover up my wounds with my leggings put my knife away and head to the common room to talk with my friends.

Second person POV: you sit and talk, you laugh with your friends all the while feeling your depression in spades. You hide it well without even trying. It's like it's second nature to you but then again why wouldn't it be? You spent all last school year feeling this way so you've had practice. However this time you had more to hide last year you weren't cutting you weren't practically starving yourself you were just in a lot of emotional pain.