ᵐ ⁱ ˢ ˢ ᵉ ᵈ ᶜ ᵃ ˡ ˡ •

ⁱ •

death is a funny thing.
i always knew it would cause a cascade of grief to wash over me, but the extremity of the self hatred that has woven itself into my soul was unanticipated.

i could barely bare to function with the knowledge that you were gone,
and never again would your divine beauty grace this mundane planet.

and the knowledge that i was possibly the root cause of such a matter was beginning to overtake every inch of good that have ever existed in my life.

the joy of which i had often found in the littlest of things disappearing,
no trace of it found anymore.

i wish more than anything that i had been there,
i had picked up the phone before the dial tone had rung out.

i'm sorry my love.
i'm sorry that this is all my fault.

i love you.
i love you.
i.
love.
you.

if only that was enough to bring you back.