𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 // Ellie X fem!oc

00 - God has heard you

First POV

God, how do I explain this? I've never found love, never been lucky in Wyoming, and anyone who has had a crush on me I've never liked or they're too young for me. When I was thirteen, I looked about ten so I'd have those little ten year olds purposefully chasing me when dashing snow balls at each other in the barns. That's when I gathered that I liked girls. I mean, they understand you much better than teenage boys did, and god were they a mess. The only love I could find are the clickers trying to get a smooch at my neck.

I've always stuck by my father, I was always close to him, he was my accomplice, my bestfriend. I could never explain the relationship to any of my friends, they'd always reply with 'it's just a normal dad-daughter relationship' or 'you're lucky to even have a dad'. My mother has always told me not to listen to my dad, he's full of shit and can't parent, but he just wants the best for me.

My mother on the other hand, was very protective, strict too, she and my dad would argue when it came to my safety. I say she cares too much but my dad just says she a good mother, acting like they weren't having a humongous argument the night previous.

When I met my Uncle Joel before going on a long trip, I learnt that he was also on a trip, a very important one apparently. 'Saving the world' pfft bullshit, nobody can save us from the distorted world we now call hell.
And when I re-met my uncle Joel after my trip, he told me some funny stories about my dad pre-cordyceps, and how he always forgot things, or how he thought he was going to be an awful father.

My closest friends, Dina and Jesse always cared for me, gave me support when I needed it, wiped my tears the moment they departed from my eyes and hugged me the moment my heart dropped. Usually heartbroken from trying to find love.

Oh, and sorry for the rudeness, here's my introduction. My name is Jaden Miller, Jaden meaning 'God has heard you' but I never believed in any of that biblical shit, neither had any of the town from so far what I know. I don't believe that God can serve your wishes and wildest dreams.
My parents told me they named me this because I'll 'need it in the future' and it will serve me as a gift when in need. I've never believed it, because when I'm on patrol, usually on my own, I hope for no clickers to maul me, trying to latch onto any open skin while I push them away and load my gun with one hand, but they always come my way.

I was put on patrol when I was thirteen, I went with Jesse usually, and sometimes on my own, it felt good to be on my own and get away from the people. It really soothes my mind, and sometimes I would bring a guitar with me and teach myself to play, I've broke about four on infected that heard from afar. My dad always forgives me but my third time he started to lecture me on how there are limited in America, and it would cost him an arm and a leg to go out and get another. My mom also lectured on it, saying I could put my dad in dangerous situations, and even get him killed.

I properly met Ellie when I was Seventeen and came back from a trip. Yes, it was a long trip. Three years infact. I had to go to Boston to meet some fireflies and hand some supplies, then down to to Texas coastline to pick up supplies,, and on both them trips I got distracted, met people, smoke with people who were now my best friend, and then I do something embarrassing and never see them again. And why did I say 'properly'? Because the trip was originally Eugene's to take, but he got ill with a serious cold and I had to take over, my dad wasn't impressed and my mom had a huge fit. But anyways, I walked into my moms office and there Ellie was, at the mere age of 14 and I was introduced to her by my dad.

That's what it was like, when I was in Boston I snuck around with a group of friends, including a firefly, all same age as me for two years, forgetting about my carefree life back at home. Smoking a joint, some kids took ecstasy but I refused. I heard that shit killed people before the whole Cordyceps thing happened and well, it doesn't look fun. But when I got back to Wyoming my mom had a huge argument with me, leading to me scooping horse shit for a whole month. But my dad, I was excited to tell him on the journey I went on, and his reaction was questions of 'are you okay?' 'Were you safe?' And never questioned why I took so long, and why I didn't contact him.

***
—-—-–

I've had a busy week, I had tests and then I practically almost died yesterday and if I wrote anything I wouldn't remember it and go off topic all over this book.

Hope you enjoy this book I guess