Noticed

1.

Is it just me that wants attention, because you are not being noticed or because nobody you knew, wanted to do anything with you, you didn't know why  but you always thought because that you were boring or just too stupid in communicating also that you were not quite funny or that you started to try to be funny but ended up being embarrassing yourself. I think it happens to me too many times recently that i just shut myself down when i am with my „friends group".

When I want to go out just with someone and ask this someone if shes up to some coffee it turns out at the end that she is gonna inform me in a bit, well that never happens, because you are boring,dumb ass, you are so boring that no one of your friends wants to do anything with you.

I am definitely alone these days.
Last week i had a mental breakdown, my sister, who has a boyfriend ( he is a mdf asshole and a cheater) never has time for me. We always went on trips and made wonderful memory's together, since she is busy with her boyfriend and never has time for me, I'm alone, I am boring , I am embarrassing.

I am trying to concentrate myself with my school but it just doesn't help. I am also lazy to do my homework. I know you guys are the same don't even try to deny it.

Personally I would rather read a romance book than trying to understand  the difference between the chemical bindings, its ridiculous.

So enough of my problems.

I am currently reading  A million kisses in your lifetime, i am in the beginning so don't ask me how it is, i am just getting into slowly.

I love coffee
I love walking and cleaning my mind in the nature
And i love making friends, but that never happens?!

I live with my parents, my dad is always abroad and my mum is always home. I love them:)

Well my sister and I are complicated, we argue a-lot recently. But it lasts just a couple of hours an then its cool so i don't really mind anymore.

I am single
My friends are not really my friends
I am 18 and have birthday in November the 9th. Its currently spring . I am sooooooo fricking excited for summer, I loveeeeee summerrrrr ahhhh.

So coming to the point i am going to New York city in about 3 days, why because I wanted  a new life where I would be actually happy. I am happy with my family but not with my life.

I want to make real friends and get a fracking job at a publishing house because why notttt i can do it so why the trick not.

I believe in my self.
This is literally a dream.
I am going to New York city in about 3 daysss aahhhhhghh.

My mum is okey with it but i need to call her twice a week witch is quite good. My dad wants me to be happy so he is also okey with it.

My sister
Well she is going to be.. i don't really know we were kind of distant to each other these days i am going to miss her but she really needs to understand that she is better-than being in a toxic relationship. I dont really want them together, its not the first time he cheated so i am not forgiving him again after what he did to her so I kind of insult or just give her the look whenever the topic is of him.

I was packing all of my stuff when I got a call from my dad, he said that he is going to miss me. I kind of got emotional and also cried some tiny weny bit, it happens don't judge me. I am on my period( offensive side eye).
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I am currently getting myself ready to sleep, i have a lot of things to do tomorrow like getting myself ready for the life changing decision i made weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i am going to be happy toughh. I Hope?

So good night!

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728 words
This was just my first ever chapter🤭
How was it ?
The next chapter will be out in a week, i think🤧🤧
Pls vote and comment!
:)