𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 & 𝙷𝚊𝚝𝚎 | 𝙱2 𝚂𝙺𝚉 𝙵𝙵

7

• who am I? •

[Felix's pov]

I looked at myself in the large wall mirror in front of me, running my fingers through my newly blonde hair and tugging on my hoodie. I was in another one of my moods, not feeling like myself.

I didn't like the way I was seeing myself. Some days I was perfectly fine with it. Other days.. not at all. The huge tantrum I wanted to throw simply for feeling out of place in my own clothes was enough to feel mentally overwhelming.

What was going on with me was something I had no idea how to handle, how to talk about it. How would I even address this? What would I title this?

I looked at the pictures I had pulled up on my phone and glanced back at myself. Realizing I didn't fit the image I wanted to feel at the moment.

I knew I needed to talk about this, that I had to step out and say something otherwise I was gonna end up wallowing in my own head. So I did what any sane person would do, any normal person. I clicked out of my gallery and to my most recent contacted. I'd didn't take long for me to find his and click call.

I put it on speaker, no one was here but me. It was too early for the others to show up. The tone echoed through the room for a minute before he picked up.

"Well good morning my sunshine." Seungmin's voice rang over the phone.

"Lixie baby!" Jisung called out as well, and with the way the background sounded they were in his car. "Have you not slept?"

Jisung sounded worried, but I was quick to disable that. "I have, I feel asleep on the couch in the break room for a while. I'm okay."

"What makes you call so early?" Seungmin interrupted and I sighed.

"When you're done with whatever Seungmin, do you think you could meet me at the studio?"

"Yea, of course. I just have to bring Jisung home and I'll be on the way baby." He was better at masking his tone when he was worried but I could always tell when he was. I could sense when he was masking his tone. Everyone was worried about me right now. I can't blame them I give them reason to. Plus, I worry myself.

"Okay. Well I'll let you go so you can pay attention to the road." I said. "Love you both!"

"Bye Lixie, love you!" Jisung called out and the call ended. So now all I had to do was wait. So I turned on one of the songs our classes were choreographing and began to rehearse each step with precision, over and over. Starting over completely if I made a mistake.

Dancing was the one thing that completely erased my mind of anything else, I had no doubt, no worry. The only thing I'd worry about is if I'd miss a step or make a mistake in the choreography.

I stopped mid-dance, feeling extra sweaty and I thought about removing my hoodie... I realized I'd feel ashamed of what I was wearing underneath it.

That's when I heard the bell to the door open, signallling someone's enter and I turned off the music.

I noticed Seungmin in the hall, peering through the door across the hall before turning to this room and smiled upon seeing me. His arms opened wide and I smiled, taking off on my feet to jump into his arms and he swung my around in the dark hall.

"We need more one on one time. You know that?" He asked me and I nodded. We didn't get as much time together alone. We never really have. We've always been around all of the others. But the few times we have been alone are some of my best memories.