The Boy (boyxboy)

Chapter Ten 》Ben

How could Jay do that to himself? It scared the shit out of me. What if he decided to take it a few steps further and killed himself? I didn't think I would be able to handle it. After all, Jay's so.. Jay. He's practically perfect. Well, to me, at least.

I thought about telling my dad. After all, he did mention that he 'had a friend' who probably was in a similar situation. And he could probably help me help Jay. I wanted to help him before he did something drastic. After all, I didn't know how bad he really was. For all I knew, Jay could already be on the brink.

I took out my earbuds and set my iPod on my desk, and walked into the living room, where my dad was casually watching TV. I leaned against the couch and my dad turned to look at me, "Hey, uh, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something.." I said, moving to sit down next to him, "It's kinda serious."

He shut off the TV and turned his body towards me, "What is it? You can talk to me about anything."

"Uh, well, you know Jay, right?" I asked, deciding if it was really such a good idea to tell him.

"Yeah." He replied, nodding as if asking my to cut to the chase.

"He self-harms." I murmured quickly.

"He what?" He asked, but before I could repeat myself, he continued, "How do you know?"

"He, uh, told me." I replied, feeling a little guilty for telling Jay's secret to my dad, "I don't know what do to, I want to help him, but I don't know how." I added.

"Well, you should let him know that you're there for him, and that he's not alone." My dad said, giving me a reassuring smile.

"Can I make him stop?" I asked, chewing on my bottom lip.

"Unfortunately, he'll probably stop on his own terms." He said, sounding a little sad, "Does his dad know?"

"No, I don't think so, why?"

"I want to talk to him about it, so he can get Jay help." My dad replied firmly.

"I'm just really scared for him." I admitted, looking down at my lap.

"He'll be fine." He reassured me, but he didn't sound very sure.

I nodded in response and left. I turned on my music and flopped on my bed. I wasn't really tired, I just wanted to think.

I thought about Jay, mostly. About what he does to himself, why he does it. I also imagined what'd happen if I asked Jay out. In reality I'd probably be rejected, after all, he was most likely straight. But, in my daydream he accepted my offer and we pranced away into the sunset.

I was halfway into a longing sigh when I stopped and realized how girly I was being. Sure, I just figured out I was bi, but that didn't mean I'd turn into a pretty princess.

I wondered if Jay liked me. Maybe he was thinking about me as I was thinking about him. But, I wasn't that lucky.

I lost myself in my thoughts once more. My dad came in and asked if I was going to come down for dinner, but I declined. I wasn't feeling very hungry, or in the mood for conversation.

After a while of thinking and listening to music, I fell asleep.

I didn't dream, or at least I don't think I did. I turned off my alarm and yawned, rubbing to sleep out of my eyes. I sighed softly and walked downstairs to get some breakfast. I noticed that my dad had already left for work, and I made myself a bowl of cereal.

I brushed my teeth after I was finished eating, and changed out of the clothes I fell asleep in. I fixed my hair and made sure I looked good. Once I was satisfied I listened to music before I had to leave for school.