How a Resurrection Really Feels

12

It's late at night and the house is completely quiet; everyone is sleeping upstairs except for Ryan, who is in charge of the fire tonight, having to make sure it doesn't die out. In spite of the silence and tranquility around him, he can sense the heavy air that fills the house, the feeling of excitement penetrating the apparent calm. Ryan's missed this feeling.

It's been a long time since he last took part in a mission, even more since the last time he participated in a robbery that was so carefully planned; a robbery that doesn't consist of storming into a place, shooting guns, yelling at people and walking away with the loot.

They're all restless, but not worried. Well, Brendon seems worried and Ryan understands it, but Spencer, Jon and he share a kind of quiet that tends to occur before something big happens: the calm before the storm.

They're going to Resurrection tomorrow night.

Ryan can't wait to get some action, not to mention food that will help them survive the whole winter. He knows that Spencer feels the same way. When their eyes meet at some random moment, they just grin at each other without saying a word, both thinking about the same thing: the robbery. Jon is probably with them on that, but Ryan has no way of knowing what Jon is actually thinking.

The four of them have gone over the whole plan uncountable times. They've learned everything they have to do, where to go, who and at what moment. They stopped talking about the plan a few days ago; in fact, no one even mentions it anymore. There's nothing else to talk about or check, and all they have to do now is to wait for the right moment to carry out their mission.

Despite the imminence of the robbery and the excitement of it, Ryan's bored. The fire keeps flickering in the fireplace, flames licking the firewood. He curls up on the couch under a generous amount of blankets as he goes over and over the plan in his head until it stops making any sense. Clearly, it's not the best way to keep him entertained.

He spends the next half an hour pulling out the loose threads of a blanket until he finally realizes what would be a lot more productive: jerking off.

Ryan rolls his eyes to himself, feeling stupid. How could he forget about masturbating? It's by far the best thing to do when he's alone and bored. He relaxes into the couch a little, shoving one hand beneath all the blankets where he reaches the waistband of his jeans, not able to remember the last time he gave himself special treatment. And that's quite alarming, actually. Not getting laid is one thing, not even getting off is another. He frowns. He doesn't even feel the need to get off. There's too much going on in his head with the robbery and Brendon. Maybe in the past robbery plans or strikes never stopped him from being horny – if he's such a babe, why not exploit his best skills? – but things are different now.

Ryan is trying to be what Brendon wants, and it's rather simple really. He has to be nice and polite, which he can do, but the most important part is definitely keeping his hands to himself. He's doing a terrific job, considering that he hasn't even masturbated since he started dating Brendon, or whatever the hell they're doing. It hasn't been his intention, but maybe he could drop it into conversation somehow, how he hasn't even been spilling his seed as Brendon calls it, and then Brendon will like him even more.

He's totally getting blue balled, and he knows it, but he sees it as a trade. He'd rather have Brendon and no sex than have neither of those.

He gets one of two. It could be worse.

"Hey there."

Ryan startles, taking his hand out from under the blankets as soon as his eyes land on Brendon, who is standing sheepishly in the doorway in a white t-shirt and underpants. It's immediately eye-catching that he can see so much of Brendon at once: bare arms, half of his legs.

"What are you doing here?" he frowns. "Thought you went to bed."

"I did, but... couldn't sleep," Brendon mumbles, stepping towards him gingerly. "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all."

Brendon smiles at him, and Ryan makes some room for him on the couch. Brendon lifts the blankets and sits down close to him. They wrap themselves under the covers before Ryan inches away from Brendon. Brendon casts him a disappointed look, but Ryan knows that he's not an angel and that he will not be stupid enough to subject himself to too much temptation.

Besides, Brendon's been doing things like this a lot lately. Holding hands is one thing, but then Brendon is constantly getting physical with him, either trying to kiss him or be all over him. Normally Ryan would be all over that too. He wants to be all over that, and the sensible part of his brain tells him what a loser he is every time he rejects Brendon's obvious advances. But Brendon is a good Christian boy who, before meeting gang members, behaved like one and didn't even admit that he was gay. Brendon has specified that they are not supposed to do anything improper and, if it's now Brendon and not him who is unable to keep a certain distance, Ryan has to put a stop to it.

Ryan is being the goody, goody Christian boy that Brendon's always wanted. He feels pretty pleased with himself – he never knew he had such self-control.

"Um..." Brendon says hesitantly, frowning. He looks a bit... frustrated? "So I've kind of... been thinking about us."

"Oh?" he asks, instantly intrigued.

Brendon scratches the side of his head a little. "Yeah. And... I don't think this is... really working out."

Ryan stares. "What?!" he barks without meaning to, regretting it instantly, but he's made such an effort here! "But- But I've been trying to be exactly what you want! I mean, maybe I'm not very good at any of it yet, and maybe I'll never understand anything about the Bible, but baby, you have to give me more time here! That's unfair!" he says angrily. "I've not jerked off in forever!" he then adds in his defense. He's trying not to be mad, but fuck it, he is mad. Brendon's fucking playing him now. Brendon is looking at him with wide eyes, cheeks rosy, and oh right, sex talk in public, a big no no. Fuck. He sighs heavily. "Look, I'm not good at these kinds of –"

"I know. You're terrible at this," Brendon cuts him off, and Ryan feels insulted further.

"What do you want, then?!" he demands to know, exasperated. "You don't want me when I'm me and you don't want me when I'm trying to be like a fucking Christian eunuch from a hillbilly town, so what?" It hits him then, and he instantly feels mortified. "You... don't want me at all. That's it, isn't it? What you're trying to say?"

Brendon's mouth drops open and he shakes his head vigorously. "No! God, no, not at all!" Brendon grabs his hand and squeezes it, and Ryan feels restless and confused. Fuck, he just can't figure Brendon out at all. "And don't swear so much, Ryan."

"Sorry. I'm upset," he mumbles stubbornly.

Brendon looks a bit lost before sighing, and he looks slightly guilty. That's one thing about Christians that Ryan's noticed – they all look so guilty all the time. "I was wrong," Brendon says, and Ryan lifts an eyebrow at him. "Ryan, I liked you because you weren't like any guy I had ever met. You were different and you weren't like the boys in Resurrection. I liked you for being all tough and brave and smart..." Brendon lists, and this is making Ryan's ego pretty happy. "I don't... I don't want you to be some Christian boy who doesn't even want to kiss me. And you're terrible at being a Christian, the more I tell you about the Bible, the more confused you get, and then you end up blaspheming all the time, so I think the safest thing is to not upset God anymore and, um. I think you're better off as not being a Christian."

Ryan sighs in relief because that bit about eating a dead dude's body was starting to freak him out. He's eaten some nasty things in his life – crow, thanks Jon – but he doesn't want to resort to cannibalism. Even he has morals.

He shifts on the couch, thinking about Brendon's words. He doesn't want to misunderstand Brendon again. "So you... preferred it when I was, you know. Me?"

"Yeah, I did," Brendon admits shyly, giving him a short, nervous glance.

"But I thought I was a huge sinner and destined to hell and shit."

"Most likely," Brendon says solemnly, and Ryan tries not to smile. He's so kickass.

"What about you?" he now asks, and Brendon looks confused. Ryan shrugs. "You like a huge sinner. A guy, no less."

Now Brendon looks thoughtful but still eager like he really wants to say whatever he's thinking, and Ryan's noticed that by now. Whenever Brendon's had some grand, original idea, he is eager to share it with Ryan, to get validation and approval. Ryan gets the feeling Brendon wasn't allowed to speak his own mind before they kidnapped him.

"I've been thinking," Brendon says, taking a deep breath and launching into it. "Like, about God and us and... maybe God doesn't hate relationships between guys. I mean, the most important thing in our religion is love, you know? Love. Father always talks about sins and hell, but not about mercy and heaven and, well... I like mercy and heaven more."

"Who wouldn't?" Ryan points out, though secretly he's still rooting for himself to go to hell with all the cool guys.

Brendon smiles at him warmly. "I don't think God minds. I-I mean that... Maybe it's not love what you and I have. But... it could be?" Brendon says hopefully. "The start of something that... could evolve... Because what I feel for you is strong and... God knows that. And He values that over hatred and anger, so I don't think He'll be mad."

Ryan swallows hard. "Mad about what?"

"That I want to kiss you," Brendon mumbles, eyes immediately cast downwards as the blush on his cheeks reddens.

Ryan instantly scooches over a little, letting himself hope against hope that maybe the two of them can finally come to a sensible compromise. "I'm fine with that but- but only if you promise you're not going to accuse me of taking advantage of you again and –"

"I wouldn't!" Brendon cuts in strongly.

"Okay. Alright." He swallows hard. "And I like you. Fuck, you know I do, I washed the dishes and swept the stupid floor for you and –" Brendon practically giggles, and Ryan fights off a smile. "You've made me act like an idiot."

"It's been cute," Brendon says, now teasingly.

"It's been horrible," he corrects, but they're both smiling. Because he thinks it's important for Brendon to know, he adds, "I do like you. And I don't think it's love, I'll be honest, I don't... But maybe it is. Fuck, I don't even know what love is. I'm not going to lie to you, I'm not going to tell you I love you when I don't but... you drive me kind of insane."

Brendon's eyes sparkle, the roaring flames of the fireplace giving his features a golden glow. Ryan's relieved when Brendon meets him halfway, their lips meeting with surprising force. Ryan was going for a gentle kiss, almost, but Brendon whimpers against his mouth, coaxing Ryan's mouth open, and fuck, Ryan's down with that.

Brendon fists his hair, pulling him closer, and Ryan kisses Brendon with all the pent up lust that he's been bottling up in his guts for days on end. They were getting pretty good at the making out thing before Brendon put a stop to it, but clearly Brendon hasn't forgotten the tricks he learned.

Ryan is surprised, however, when Brendon moves to sit on his lap. The blankets pool around their waists, and Brendon's weight is comfortable on him, Brendon's legs on his sides. Brendon leans down to kiss him, and god, okay, Ryan is so okay with this. Their movements are slightly frantic, and Brendon's already breathing hard. Ryan leaves a trail of kisses to Brendon's jaw, moving to Brendon's neck. "Fuck, I missed you, baby," he whispers, and Brendon moans when he latches onto Brendon's neck, wondering if it's okay if he leaves a mark there. His hands are on Brendon's waist, and Brendon feels so lithe and hot and willing right then. But no, they're just making out, making up for lost time. Making out and making up.

"You know how," Brendon says through the gulps of air he's taking, squirming on his lap in an utterly distracting manner, "how we're robbing the warehouse tomorrow?"

"Yeah," he nods, licking over the skin he's just sucked on, then sucking on it again. Brendon groans and exposes his neck further, hands clutching Ryan's shoulders but not pushing him away at all.

"I'm robbing my own family. I can't... can't come back from that, I –"

Ryan moves to catch Brendon's lips in a messy kiss, and Brendon responds hungrily. Ryan tries to focus on the conversation. "You worried about it?"

"Yeah, but... I don't think it'll be wrong. We won't hurt anyone and there'll still be food left and... it's just fair. You know? It won't be sinning. You deserve that food."

"We deserve it," Ryan corrects, now nuzzling Brendon's jaw line and leaving stray kisses here and there. He loves the way Brendon smells, the way his skin feels. "C'mere," he beckons, pulling Brendon down for a kiss before he's gently guiding them to lie down on the couch. His mind's clouded with lust, and he knows he's probably pushing it, but Brendon seems willing to go along with it. The blankets fall onto the floor as they settle to lie on the couch, Ryan on top of Brendon. Not like they haven't done this before. But then he lets himself put his weight on Brendon, who has got his legs parted so that he can lie between them, and that's when he realizes they're both hard. Ryan hates himself a little – no, a lot – when he forces himself to pull back and ask, "You want to stop?" He'd rather stop now than in five minutes when he's even hornier.

"I –" Brendon starts, but then swallows hard. "I don't know, I..." Brendon shifts, unintentionally pushing his hips up, making their arousals that much more obvious. Brendon's pupils are blown and his cheeks are a deep red – want and embarrassment. Ryan moves to suck on the bruise on Brendon's neck, and god, he's so full of want right now, and Brendon's so hot and clueless to it, and it drives him insane.

Brendon groans, and the sound is loud in the otherwise quiet living room. "What do you want?" Ryan asks, his mouth having travelled to Brendon's ear. Brendon's breathing heavily beneath him, and Ryan can feel Brendon's chest expanding when he pulls in air.

"Ryan," Brendon whispers, tone overwhelmed.

"Shh," he manages, sucking on Brendon's earlobe. "It's okay, I've got you. You just gotta tell me what you want."

Brendon's body is practically buzzing with what he hopes is lust, and then Brendon moans, "Just don't stop touching me."

The words go straight to Ryan's cock. That's a free invitation to anything. Anything. And he can't even think apart from the rushed "Okay" that he says before he's pulling Brendon's shirt off faster than he can even acknowledge what he's doing. Brendon doesn't try to stop him but holds his arms above his head, and then the t-shirt gets dumped on the floor. Brendon's cheeks are turning redder. He doesn't understand why Brendon would feel self-conscious at all – he stares at Brendon's flawless skin in awe, free of tattoos and scars. It's another thing that makes Brendon different from all the guys he's known before. He can't decide what turns him on more right now, the want or the slight embarrassment in Brendon's eyes.

He runs his hands over Brendon's smooth skin, down his chest and stomach. Brendon's breathing hitches like the touch is almost burning his skin. Ryan's hand stops right at the waistband of Brendon's underpants; he can't take his eyes off of the prominent bulge. He's seen Brendon hard before but his own need of getting off has always stopped him from admiring Brendon properly. Now he wants to do it as he should and, really, just watching Brendon isn't enough.

He places his hand over Brendon's erection, and Brendon's mouth instantly drops open as his entire body jerks. "You're really hard right now," Ryan says, his voice thick as he rubs Brendon. Brendon nods frantically, biting on his lower lip.

Brendon wants Ryan to touch him, and fuck, Ryan wants to do more than touch Brendon's hard on.

"I want to suck you off."

"W-What?" Brendon stutters like he's drunk, looking up at him with wide, wild eyes. Ryan can't help grinning, but he doesn't plan to abuse the fact that Brendon's too hard to think. He has to make sure that Brendon really wants it and not just because he's horny.

He lies over Brendon's body again, careful not to crush him, and places soft, wet kisses over Brendon's neck. Brendon arches his back, wrapping his arms around Ryan to bring him closer until they're completely pressed against each other.

"Want to suck you off," he whispers into Brendon's ear. "Remember? Like I did when you were tied up in the basement?"

Brendon lets out a tiny, choked moan. "Yeah." Brendon swallows hard. "Okay."

"You sure? I can touch you if you –"

"No, please. Just..."

"Just?" Ryan asks, planting a wet kiss over Brendon's ear. "I don't want to do something you don't want, baby. Tell –"

"Please just suck me off!" Brendon whines, sounding frustrated. Ryan freezes. The kid looks humiliated, but fuck, here he is, little innocent Brendon from Resurrection, asking Ryan to give him head. Fuck, this is even better than any of his fantasies. He doesn't want Brendon to feel uncomfortable though, even less for voicing what he wants – Brendon should be bossy more often, it goes well with his sweet and caring side – so Ryan presses his crotch against Brendon's, making Brendon moan restlessly.

He lets his lips hover over Brendon's. "You want my mouth on your cock," he whispers slowly, and Brendon instantly closes his eyes. "There's nothing wrong with that."

He doesn't expect Brendon to answer as he slowly starts heading south, kissing Brendon's chest and stomach along the way. When he gets to the waistband of Brendon's truthfully rather damn ugly underpants, he lets himself quickly slip off the couch and sit on the back of his heels on the floor.

"Come here," he commands, taking Brendon's hand and pulling. Brendon moves to sit up on the couch, breathing loudly, and Ryan knows he too is already out of breath, the excitement and anticipation getting to him. He snakes his thumbs under the waistband of Brendon's underpants, and Brendon lifts his hips without Ryan having to tell him. Ryan pulls the garment off all the way, leaving Brendon naked in front of him. God, he's never seen Brendon naked before. Probably no one has. Fuck, the kid's gorgeous.

Brendon's already hyper-sensitive, his cock jerking when Ryan places his hands on Brendon's knees and pulls them apart. Brendon's cock is now just a few inches from his face, fully erected and flushed. Ryan's mouth is practically watering. He realizes that he's never really touched Brendon's cock; the times he did were over clothing, and when he sucked Brendon off he didn't touch him. Completely spellbound by Brendon's cock, a good length, average girth, Ryan wraps his fingers around it, squeezing tightly.

"Oh, God," Brendon groans. Ryan smirks, seeing how Brendon is taking a hand to his mouth to silence himself, like Brendon already can't believe how good it feels.

Ryan strokes Brendon's cock tentatively, feeling the warmth in his hand. He runs his thumb over the head, shiny with pre-come. Brendon lets out noises and words that Ryan can't understand at all.

Ryan repeats, "It's okay to want this." His voice is heavy with lust.

"Please," Brendon breathes out, tone helpless. "Please, I want it."

Fuck, Ryan can't resist it anymore and licks the underside. Brendon shifts in place and pushes his hips up against Ryan's mouth. Ryan smiles at how eager Brendon is. He'll give Brendon anything he wants, so he wraps his mouth around Brendon's erection.

Brendon almost chokes on his breath, and Ryan holds Brendon's cock from the base with one hand, the other cupping Brendon's balls. He gets straight to it, wanting to see how crazy he can drive Brendon. He happens to give pretty amazing blowjobs and, okay, he might be a bit out of practice, but he's still kind of phenomenal at it. He gets Brendon coated in spit, nice and wet, before swallowing Brendon's cock down, relaxing his jaw and throat.

"Oh, oh, Christ," Brendon rushes out, one hand clumsily tightening its hold of Ryan's hair.

Ryan takes him in all the way, and he knows he doesn't have to impress a virgin who doesn't know any better, but fuck, he wants to give Brendon incredible head. Saliva is dripping down Brendon's cock, and Ryan loves how he tastes so innocent. Ryan's hands dig into Brendon's hips as his mouth slips all the way to the base, his nose pressing into the dark curls. Brendon's vibrating, his body buzzing. Brendon's being so damn loud as Ryan lets his head bob up and down, lips stretched.

Brendon's words sound a bit like, "Oh, oh, that's – nice, that, that feels so good, Ryan, Ryan- That's so good, I can't –"

Brendon didn't last long the first time he blew him, so it doesn't really surprise him when Brendon's clearly on edge already. But he's properly giving Brendon the attention he deserves for the first time, so he pulls back and squeezes the tip of Brendon's cock firmly. Brendon whines at the back of his throat, hips jerking, but he doesn't come.

Ryan lets Brendon catch his breath a little, and Brendon already looks damn wrecked and far gone.

Ryan places Brendon's legs on his shoulders, admiring the way Brendon's displayed in front of him. Brendon's heaving, his body clearly not used to this kind of stimulation. He pushes Brendon's thighs apart further as he moves in, pulling Brendon closer until Brendon's ass is on the edge of the couch. He mouths Brendon's shaft lazily, letting his tongue trail over Brendon's tight balls. He slowly licks lower, over the perineum. Fuck, Brendon sounds so turned on right now. He knows he didn't ask permission for this, but Brendon is clearly not objecting, so he lets himself lift Brendon's hips and let his mouth go lower.

Brendon practically cries out when his mouth places a wet kiss over Brendon's hole. Ryan feels like he's insane from want – Brendon's a virgin, never been fucked, never been fingered, never been rimmed. He lets his tongue swirl over the tight hole that twitches when he presses his tongue against it, getting Brendon a little wet.

Brendon's gasping for breath. "Oh. Oh, so – Oh. There." Brendon sounds like he's only now figuring it out. "Your mouth is so," Brendon then adds, and Ryan hums, letting himself hungrily lick over Brendon. No one's ever got to do this before. Ryan's own cock is throbbing hard from knowing that. He pulls back and blows air on Brendon's hole, and Brendon's entire body reacts.

Ryan travels back up again, leaving a trail of saliva behind so that Brendon can feel him all fucking over, and then he takes Brendon's leaking and by now pulsating cock back into his mouth. He lets Brendon's hips settle back on the couch, but he keeps one hand between Brendon's ass cheeks, his index finger applying pressure on Brendon's hole. He's not trying to penetrate him, he knows Brendon never agreed to that, but he knows how good it feels, being pressed there when you get your cock sucked – the teasing sensation amplifies the pleasure.

He sucks Brendon's cock hard into his mouth, finger circling Brendon's hole, his other hand roaming on Brendon's stomach and chest, making sure Brendon knows how wanted he is right now, how hot he is, and that Ryan's got him – he's really fucking got him – and Brendon keeps mumbling his name incoherently, mixed with the word "please", and fuck if it doesn't make Ryan harder.

Brendon probably doesn't mean to tug hard on Ryan's hair when he comes, but Ryan loves it that he does. Brendon sounds like he's falling apart, loud only in a way a virgin could when an intense orgasm hits him, and unable to cope with it. Ryan swallows Brendon's come. He doesn't understand people who complain about the bitter taste because he's always loved it. He pulls back to get some on his tongue, letting his tongue swirl the head of Brendon's cock as Brendon comes.

When Brendon is done, Ryan pulls away, running his fingers over his lips and sucking the last drops off of them. Brendon lays spread over the couch, eyes closed and lips parted; his body limp and undone by bliss, a bliss that Ryan provided. He feels fucking awesome.

Ryan moves back onto the couch, sitting down at Brendon's side, watching the kid's chest going up and down as his breathing slowly starts easing. Ryan's cock twitches from the hot view that no one apart from him has seen, and his cock is reminding him that it's still hard and demanding attention, so Ryan unceremoniously undoes his pants and shoves a hand inside, fisting his cock hard but still being lazy about it. He isn't in a hurry to come; Brendon looks so ravishing right now that Ryan could jerk off forever just watching him. He groans at the back of his throat and pushes into his hand.

Brendon lets out a placid sigh, smiling almost shyly and finally opening his eyes. Ryan squeezes his cock tighter as their gazes meet; the elation on Brendon's face makes his chest expand, but then Brendon's eyes turn serious.

"Ryan," Brendon says in a tiny and choked voice as his eyes fix on Ryan's crotch.

Ryan doesn't get it at first, but then it hits him. He's jerking off right in front of Brendon, and even if Ryan has done the same thing in the past and even if he just sucked off and rimmed the guy, there still are some boundaries that can be broken. He didn't ask Brendon if it was okay for him to masturbate in front of him.

"Shit, sorry," he apologizes, slowly and reluctantly starting to take his hands out of his pants, but much to his surprise Brendon grabs his wrist and holds his hand still.

"D-Don't," Brendon mutters.

Ryan stares at him, and Brendon's eyes remain fixed on the bulge like he's hypnotized. Ryan's cock twitches violently, and Ryan slowly lets his hand wrap around his cock again. He starts a rhythm, letting Brendon watch. "Oh, God," Brendon whispers, suddenly crawling on top of Ryan, and without any warning Brendon holds his face and kisses him hard.

Ryan's eyes go wide open in surprise: Brendon is almost devouring his mouth, and it takes him just a few seconds to react and return the kiss. Brendon is all over him, naked, and Ryan has to take his hand out of his pants to touch him, greedily pulling Brendon further into his lap as they make out. And Brendon is soft, so soft to the touch. Ryan runs his hands all over his back and his fucking perfect, round ass. Brendon likes it when he does that, groaning. Fuck.

Brendon moans, pressing harder against him, and Ryan startles as he feels Brendon's cock against his stomach, completely hard. Already. Ryan doesn't even have time to process the information because Brendon is pulling at his clothes, a bit clumsily, sure, but definitely with determination.

Ryan breaks the kiss, panting over Brendon's lips. He swallows hard, and Brendon squirms in his lap. "You want more." It's a question but he manages to make it sound like a statement, feeling overwhelmed and pretty fucking optimistic. He thought they were done.

Brendon bites on his lower lip, cheeks rosy, and he freezes up in his lap. "Not fair I'm the only one naked," Brendon then says, but Ryan agrees. He should really be naked too. And god, Ryan doesn't even have to think about cocks in asses to be pushed close to coming when the mere thought of them naked in the same place is enough to make him feel like he's a second from coming.

Ryan tries to keep his calm. He's mostly failing. He lets his mouth lazily kiss Brendon's jaw. "You're hard."

Brendon freezes further. "I'm sorry, it just felt so –"

"Hey, don't be like that," he says with a smile, quickly cupping Brendon's face with his hands and giving him a long, wet kiss. "Fucking love it that you are. I can still make you feel good, even better than I did just now. I'd love to do that if you want me to."

"I want you to," Brendon whispers, and Ryan is not going to waste this opportunity.

"I'll get us more comfortable," he hurries to say, pushing Brendon carefully away from him, and Brendon sits on the couch, flushed and staring at him with wide eyes.

Ryan gets up, quickly pulling his shirt over his head because fuck, if Brendon is asking him to undress, he will. He grabs the blankets that rolled off of them, placing them over the rug in front of the fireplace, and then he quickly goes to his unbuttoned pants, shoving them off all the way as fast as he can.

When he turns back around, Brendon seems frozen to where he is. Ryan can see the fire creating flickering shadows on Brendon's face, and Brendon's eyes are roaming on him. Brendon's never seen him naked before – shirtless, plenty, his cock, definitely, but never actually naked. His cock is curved upwards, so fucking hard Ryan can barely stand it, and Brendon is slowly licking his lips.

"Can I?" Brendon asks.

"Yeah," he says, not even knowing what the hell Brendon wants, just knows that the answer is still definitely going to be yes. But Brendon stays on the couch, so he adds, "What, baby?"

Brendon's eyes flick back to his. "Taste you."

Fuck. Ryan knew it. Fuck, he knew that under that shy virgin was a guy who loved cock. His cock.

He walks over to the couch, hands almost shaking from adrenaline, heart beating wildly, and Brendon's eyelevel with his erection. Brendon's hands clumsily settle on his thighs. Ryan tries to keep his hands from trembling when he brings his thumb over his slit – he's leaking already, no fucking wonder – gathering pre-come. Brendon's staring, lips parted. He brings his thumb to Brendon's mouth, swiping it over Brendon's swollen lower lip. Brendon's breathing is shaky, his hands on Ryan's thighs squeezing hard. Brendon lets his tongue dart out to lick his lower lip. Brendon groans, eyes fluttering shut. Ryan can't even breathe.

He's had sex dozens and dozens and dozens of times, he's gotten off hundreds, but he's never been as turned on as he is right now. He's not even seducing a virgin – Brendon doesn't need to be seduced.

Brendon carefully inches closer, mouth still open, movements clumsy, hesitant, and Ryan holds his cock from the base. He's heaving, fire curled up in his stomach. Brendon's soft lips brush over the head of his cock. "Fucking hell, Brendon," he manages, one hand already tangled in Brendon's hair. Brendon's tongue licks his slit tentatively.

They both move back at the same time – Ryan because he's going to fucking come right there if Brendon proceeds any further. If that was anything to go by, Brendon would fumble, gag from just a few inches, be awkward, give a blowjob only a virgin could give, and it'd be the loss of innocence and the eagerness with which Brendon sucked his cock that would push him over the edge before they're even done.

Brendon's wiping his mouth with a shaking hand. "I could taste you," Brendon breathes out, voice trembling. Brendon licks his lips. "You taste..."

Bitter. Nasty. Foul.

"...good."

Ryan has a feeling that Brendon is going to make him lose his fucking mind before the night is over.

"Come here already," he says impatiently, reaching for Brendon's hand and pulling him up to stand. He pulls Brendon in for a starving kiss, taking bites at Brendon's mouth as he leads them over to the blankets. "You've no idea what you fucking do to me," he breathes out as they settle to lie down, Brendon beneath him. Brendon parts his legs without him having to ask, and Ryan lies between them, their erections pressed together.

Brendon pulls on his hair as they start making out, wet smacks of their mouths together, Brendon groaning, squirming and making Ryan this close to officially declaring himself brain dead. "What do you want?" he asks again, their lips brushing together. He could blow Brendon again. Really, sucking Brendon's cock will never get old.

"I don't –" Brendon starts but then swallows hard. "It felt good when you..."

"Anything, baby. Fuck, you know that."

Brendon grabs Ryan's hand. They're almost glued to each other, but Brendon manages to guide their hands between them. Ryan expects to be guided to Brendon's cock. Doesn't happen. Instead Brendon spreads his legs further and guides their hands lower, until they are between Brendon's legs. Brendon clumsily gets their hands between his ass cheeks. Ryan doesn't waste a second before pressing his fore and index fingers against Brendon's hole, and Brendon jerks, eyes closed and cheeks flushed.

Brendon pulls his hand back, and Ryan tries to focus, tries not to come from Brendon fucking asking for this.

"Here?" he asks, fingers rubbing Brendon's hole. Brendon nods, and Ryan bites onto Brendon's collarbone and groans. Don't come. Don't come. Fuck, fuck, just hold the fuck on. Okay. He can do this. He can. He moves to Brendon's ear. "Here's what we'll do. I'm gonna lick you, get you wet... Push my tongue inside you... Then I'm gonna use my fingers... slowly work you open... You'll feel so good, baby."

Brendon lets out a tiny strangled noise in agreement, and Ryan hates to admit it but he was expecting Brendon to change his mind. Ryan's not sure if he's going to be able to do all that without having his head or cock exploding in the process, but at least it'd be for a good cause. Ryan is brave and willing to take on the risks, so he motions Brendon to turn around.

"What?" Brendon asks, clearly not getting the hint.

"Turn around. It'll be better," he says, already breathless, getting on his knees to give Brendon room to move. Brendon stares at him, pupils blown by want, and rolls over, then jerking when his erection presses against the mattress.

"Can I get on my knees? It's unco –"

"That would be for the best, yeah," Ryan finishes for him. Brendon moves slowly, like trying to figure this out or to put on a show, which is pretty unlikely, but Ryan just stares at him getting on his hands and knees. And as if the fucker knew that Ryan's cock is painfully hard, Brendon rests on his elbows, and it only makes the angle that much better, Brendon's ass offered to him even further.

Ryan wants to cry.

He's not sure if he's really sex deprived or if it's Brendon's ass that is simply incredible, maybe a bit of both, but if Brendon is right and God created humans, then He definitely took plenty of time on Brendon's ass because it's divine. How a country boy can get such a gorgeous ass is beyond Ryan's comprehension. Ryan rests his hands carefully on Brendon's ass cheeks, loving the contact with the soft, firm, virgin ass. Brendon shivers and lets out a tiny choked groan.

Without further ado but definitely with plenty of excitement, Ryan makes himself comfortable, leaning down. He firmly runs the flat of his tongue over Brendon's balls, his perineum and hole, and then up the crack. He takes a long, deep breath, as if he was surfacing from deep waters, trying to collect himself. Brendon's moan fills the silence of the room. Ryan is tempted to ask him not to hold back but right now Brendon being loud would be too much for him to handle. He is barely handling Brendon at all.

Ryan sinks down again between Brendon's cheeks, spreading Brendon open with his hands, and he starts circling Brendon's hole with his tongue. Brendon grunts as his body trembles, and Ryan keeps licking his entrance, loving the way he's getting Brendon wet. He runs his tongue over Brendon's hole again and again, and Brendon keeps jerking; Ryan can feel Brendon's muscles tensing up, his breathing growing louder, but he tries to tune that out. He just focuses on what he's doing and not on what Brendon's doing, because otherwise he'll die before this is even over.

He kisses Brendon's entrance, lips rubbing over the sensitive skin, and Brendon finally moans loudly, a string of nonsense words put together. Ryan picks out "Oh God" and "Too good, feels too good." Ryan is panting from a lack of oxygen and an excess of adrenaline. He closes his eyes, his cock painfully hard, and he licks over Brendon once, twice, before pushing his tongue inside. Brendon cries out. At first Ryan keeps it shallow, quick dips of his tongue before licking over Brendon again, but soon he goes in deeper.

"Ry –" Brendon groans, his legs shaking, and Ryan holds him in place firmly, knowing that placing his hands on Brendon's hips would work better, but he wants to keep Brendon open, wants to keep eating him out.

He fills his mouth with saliva, spitting between Brendon's cheeks rather unceremoniously. Brendon twitches. His spit rolls down, over Brendon's wet hole, and Ryan pushes his tongue back inside, feeling greedy as he goes deeper. Brendon's ring contracts around his tongue, offering resistance, but Brendon's wet enough now for Ryan to keep tongue-fucking him.

He keeps at it, ignoring Brendon's ecstatic moans. For the good of his own cock, Ryan has to ignore Brendon. Brendon starts mumbling incoherent words again, moaning simultaneously, until he finally says, "More."

Ryan stops right away, pulling back and wiping his swollen mouth. "What?"

Brendon lets out a relieved breath, as if he was lacking air. "More," Brendon repeats, a bit desperately, like he can't take Ryan teasing him anymore.

"More," Ryan repeats. "More. Okay, more." He tries to recollect himself. He takes his forefinger into his mouth, coating it with spit as much as he can, and when he pulls it out, he places a wet, saliva filled kiss on Brendon's hole, letting his tongue rub spit onto it. Brendon jerks almost violently.

He lets himself move closer and hover over Brendon, leaving a string of messy kisses to Brendon's lower back. His hand is between Brendon's cheek, rubbing against Brendon's entrance that's so wet now, and Ryan's pleased with his efforts. He presses his forefinger inside carefully. Brendon's response is good – the kid groans loudly, muscles clenching around Ryan's finger. He's slick and the resistance isn't bad, so he pushes his finger to the knuckle.

Ryan tries not to think of how tight Brendon feels around his one finger.

He wriggles the digit, wanting Brendon to get used to the feeling of something inside him, because he knows it can be intrusive, though he never thought it was – Ryan was wantonly fingering himself way before he got fucked the first time. But Brendon's a virgin, needs time to adjust, needs –

"More," Brendon groans.

Oh. Well.

He works two fingers into Brendon, starting a rhythm of in and out. He can't seem to get the angle right, though, and it frustrates him. As much as he loves Brendon's on his hands and knees like this, he pulls his fingers out and says, "On your back."

Brendon makes a sound that is questioning, like 'Why are you not fingering me anymore?', so Ryan repeats his order. Brendon turns back around, and Ryan has to stop at the sight. Brendon's cock is leaking again, and Brendon's so flushed, and his hair is all messy – sex hair on Brendon – his pupils blown, his lower lip puffy since he's clearly been pulling on it, and Ryan quickly squeezes the tip of his own cock to calm down. Brendon's also slightly disorientated, like it's hard to focus when he's been rimmed and fingered, is wet and slowly loosening up – god, he's tight – and Ryan quickly pushes two fingers back inside Brendon and crooks them.

"Oh God!" Brendon cries out, hips pushing into Ryan's hand. Ryan's way ahead of him, now fucking Brendon with two fingers and not giving Brendon a moment to recompose himself. He wants to see Brendon go insane. He makes sure he's rubbing Brendon's prostate, and Brendon lets out these sounds, spontaneous and untrained, and Brendon clearly had no idea that this could feel good, probably has no idea what Ryan's even doing.

Ryan leans back down, mouthing Brendon's cock lazily, but mostly focusing on getting Brendon off. He flicks his wrist when he pushes his fingers in, loving the way the tight muscles give way.

"Ryan," Brendon groans. "Oh, Ryan, that's so good, that's –"

Brendon's so loud now, and Ryan wonders if Jon and Spencer can hear Brendon getting off, Ryan getting Brendon off, the way he can make Brendon lose his mind. They probably can. Good. They should hear it and know that this is Ryan's property, his right. No one else but him.

"More."

Ryan stops licking Brendon's shaft and looks up at Brendon, surprised. Brendon's got an arm flung over his eyes, like he's half out of his mind. "More?" he asks, just to clarify.

"Please. Feels so- so good, but I just –"

"I've got you. It's okay, baby, I've got you," he rushes out. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He pushes in a third finger.

Brendon groans, dirty and guttural and more masculine than Ryan's ever heard him. It has to hurt. Brendon's tight but taking it, and Ryan goes back to pushing the digits against the spot that sends pleasure throughout Brendon's body. Brendon still winces, and Ryan quickly takes a hold of Brendon's cock with his free hand, lowering his mouth onto it, hoping to distract him.

It's amazing how Brendon moves, hips jerking like he wants to fuck Ryan's mouth, then pushing back like he wants to fuck Ryan's fingers, but he's not sure what to do and which pleasure to chase.

Ryan's fingers are disappearing and reappearing from Brendon's tight hole, and Ryan's pleased and proud, almost, that his Brendon is taking it so well. But fuck, Brendon's loose enough... He could – If he wanted to, right now, he could push his cock inside with relative ease. Brendon's wet and stretched, his hole ready, and Ryan only wanted to get Brendon off, get himself off, in whatever creative way they could come up with.

Brendon's hips are slowly bucking upwards, meeting Ryan's hand. Brendon's practically fucking himself on his fingers.

"Brendon," he says. He shouldn't push. Shouldn't – "Bren, I really want to fuck you right now."

Brendon's muscles clench around his fingers as Brendon's hips jerk.

Ryan licks his lips. "You've no idea how good you look, baby, you're so ready for me, you don't even know, but you're so wet and you're so stretched, and – God, if you could see yourself, see the way my fingers are in you... It'd feel so good for you. Baby, you're so ready." He's half-begging. He's okay with that.

Brendon opens his eyes, licking his lips. "I..." Ryan presses his fingers against Brendon's prostate, maybe wanting to cloud Brendon's judgment a little. Brendon groans. "Okay."