Sidetracked

Ardell: Lost and Found

- London, England -

The train emerges from the tunnel at high speed, entering a stretch of track surrounded by England. It's drawing nearer to London.

Inside one of the gangways, Ardell and Penelope stand in front of one another, swaying with the movement of the train, the tension between them palpable. Ardell searches for words, but can't find anything of substance. Finally, he speaks. "You're sure about this?"

"I have to know." Penelope responds almost immediately, and a fleeting thought in Ardell's mind ponders if she means what she's saying, "If it's meant to be, we'll choose the same side. If not... I'll never see you again." Her eyes fill with tears, but he can't shake the feeling that they're coming from another reason. A certainty. As if she knows the outcome already.

He realizes he's been silent for a moment too long and fumbles his words. "That's not entirely true. It just means it isn't meant to work out just yet, right?"

"Yeah... right..." Again, she seems resolute.

"I'll find you. Or you can find me. Or we can find each other. No matter what, it's not all down to this." Ardell hangs his head and looks unsure. His breath is heavy as he holds back every emotion he's ever felt, welling within his chest. "I wish you'd just get off with me. We'll go to your show together. Find a little diner to go in until it starts. If you would just--"

"That's too easy, Ardell." her eyes dance between his, "Nothing in life can be that easy."

Ardell purses his lips. and closes his eyes, a single tear falling as he hangs his head. "You're right. You're right, nothing can be that easy, can it? So..." he lifts his eyes back to hers, "I just have to trust that we'll pick the same side."

"Yeah." and though she nods, Ardell notices something is off, "And either way, make sure you go find your leopard."

Ardell tries to laugh, but it's forced. And so is Penelope's smile.

They stare at one another, Ardell's mind rolling over her every word. Something isn't right, but... maybe I'm reading too much into it? Or maybe she's just worried like I am? I... I don't understand any of this. Not sure of anything anymore, either. But she is. God damn it, she is. I guess all that's left to do... is trust her.

Then Ardell leans in and kisses Penelope again, like it's the last time he ever will. They grab onto one another as the train starts to slow., and an unfamiliar voice, now in English, calls out from the intercom. "Now arriving. London."

They slowly pull apart from each other, still looking into one another's eyes. Ardell strokes her hair back, holding her close to him for as long as he can. "Pick the same side as me, alright?"

Penelope nods unenthusiastically, then her eyes shift. "We'd better get going."

Ardell nods and lets go of her, giving each other a lingering look as they step apart. Breaking the contact first, Penelope turns and walks away, the gangway doors opening like a mouth, swallowing her presence away from Ardell.

He watches her walking away, his eyes searching her, a slight sense of panic in his heart. Through the gangway windows, he can still see her back, slowly disappearing through another set of doors. His feet twitch. Go. Go for her. Now. Before it's too late. Ardell grits his teeth in indecision, his toes pressing against the insides of his shoes. Another set of doors opens beyond the gangway.

And then she's gone.

Ardell stands there for another moment, then sighs. "Pick the same side as me. Please." he says to the floor, then turns on his heel and starts off in the other direction.

*                                                   *                                                  *

The train slows as it pulls up to a stop in the station. People buzz around, preparing to board.Life carries on as usual for everyone. Hundreds of human beings, all with their own lives and agendas, completely unaware that Ardell's world is falling apart as he stands at one of the doors, looking out at the platform, his bags readied in hand.

He glances back over his shoulder at the other set of doors. Maybe... "Excuse me, mate." he says, pushing past some of the crowd, who all move to let him past, and stepping up to the door on the other side.

He stands there, tapping his foot, letting out a nervous breath. He looks out at the platform. People scurry about, readying luggage and preparing to board, dozens of faces not registering to Ardell's eyes. No, I think...

"Sorry. Excuse me." The people around him groan as Ardell pushes past them again to position himself in front of the other door once more.

He breathes out heavily and bounces on his feet. This is it. This is the right side... right? His hand tightens around his bag handle, sweat forming between his skin and the leather.

The hydraulics sigh, and as the doors slide open, Ardell turns on his heel and runs out the doors on the other side, causing whines and complaints from the other passengers.

Ardell emerges from the train in a panicked huff, looking around, dragging his bag with him. There's an ocean of people deboarding the train, and he can't make sense of any of them. He pushes his way through the crowd, toward the end where Penelope was. Come on. She has to be here. She has to be.

People fight against him, an uphill battle in a downhill stream, but he keeps pushing through.

About halfway through, he stops, looking ahead. The crowd is massive, people departing and boarding. None of them are Penelope, though.

He stares on, depressed, then looks to the train. An idea is born, and without thinking, he runs through the doors from one platform to the other, bumping a young man out of the way as he does. "Sorry, mate!" he calls back, without taking a second to see if the man has even heard him.

Ardell emerges from the train on the other side, repeating the process, looking around for Penelope, but the crowd is just as oceanic. His eyes scan the platform, searching, pleading, begging. Please be here. Please...

But she's nowhere to be found.

His feet stop moving, refusing to carry him and further. He slows to a stop in the midst of people moving, the only immobile object in a sea of rushing water. She's gone, isn't she? She's... His shoulders slump and his head hangs, defeated and lost yet again. He raises his hand to his eyes as he closes them and lowers himself to the ground, squatting on his heels. Then he falls back into a sitting position, staring ahead blankly, the only person sitting in a platform of busy people.

"Hey, the fuck you doin', mate?" one voice shouts angrily.

People buzz all around him, bumping into him and pushing past him. But Ardell is unmoved. He stares ahead, tears falling from his eyes.

"Bloody hell, move, you tit!" another says, plowing into him with a shin and knee and knocking him aside.

Ardell catches himself before he falls over completely, something falling out of his jacket as he does. It lands on the floor of the platform. He looks at it, his eyes welled with unshed tears, and picks it up.

Penelope's glove.

He lifts it to his eyes and looks at it, then places it to his nose and mouth and breathes into it, crying. Oh, God, it smells like her. Penelope. Penelope... He sobs, deep heaves coming up from his chest and shaking his body.

Through the window, Ardell clambers to his feet slowly, still gripping Penelope's glove. He grabs his bag and starts to walk away.

Watching from one of the seats is Penelope, her heart breaking in her eyes as she watches him.