Sidetracked

Ardell: Happy Birthday

- Dublin, Ireland (2003) -

"I don't care where the destination is, I just need to get on that train." Ardell's voice is full of panic and anguish as he bounces on his heels nervously, glancing back to ensure his father hasn't somehow stumbled inside, reeking of whiskey and belt in hand.

"I understand that, lad, but that train is fully booked." the clerk looks genuinely concerned and has no idea what to do, her glasses having slid down on her nose and her hair a mess from a long day's work. "I can get you a ticket on the next train that leaves in about an hour."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but that's not going to work for me. I've got to get out of here. Now." Ardell glances back again in fear at the sound of a grumbling throat being cleared, fully expecting to see his father in place of the custodial staff member.

The clerk creases her brow and reaches out, touching Ardell's hand lying on the counter. "Is everything alright–"

But Ardell has jerked his hand away with a gasp, gripping his hands together for a moment before he realizes what's happened. He tries to look calmer, adjusting the strap of his backpack that's noticeably lighter than it was when he left home and straightening down his hair. "Everything's fine, ma'am. Just please get me on that train."

"The train is booked solid. I..." her voice trails off, and she seeks words as Ardell studies her, tears formed in his eyes that he has no idea are there. "Hang on just a moment."

She rises from her seat and walks off, Ardell looking after her with a glimmer of hope. He finally lets out the breath that's been tight in his lungs, allowing the tears to fall from his eyes. He blinks them away as best as he can and sniffles back, plastering on a tough guy face as the custodial man walks past him, giving him a nod. Ardell nods back, trying to hide how shaky his entire body is. And then his eyes are back on the entrance.

As if in a nightmare, the lanky frame of Ardell's father slowly steps through the doorway, eyes red with sleeplessness and nose red with alcoholism. His hair, balding on top and withering away on the sides, is dashed with gray streaks through fiery orange, and the same could be said about his stubble that hasn't seen a razor in the better part of two days. His eyes roll in their sockets and then lock onto Ardell, and he feels his heart leap from his chest up into the back of his throat, not even a gasp able to eke past.

His legs like a marionette and his eyes boiling with rage, Ardell's father turns his body fully toward him and starts toward him, hands outstretched and mouth agape with the word "Ardell!"

Ardell slams his eyes shut and brings his hands up to his face, waiting for the sharp piercing pain he knows is coming as a set of gnarled up fingers wrap around his bony wrist and haul him forward. For only a moment longer, Ardell keeps his eyes tightly closed, holding onto the precious few moments of peace he has left before his father launches into a tirade.

"You took that money, you no good, lousy little lying sack of shit. You're gonna give it back right fuckin' now and then we're gonna go home and have a nice long discussion about what you've done wrong." The words are all slurred together by alcohol, but Ardell knows all too well what "discussion" his father intends to have with him as his father's grip on his arm tightens and he starts to pull him toward the entryway.

Finally, Ardell opens his eyes, looking up at the man half responsible for his existence. If flames could have shot from his eyes, they would have right then. Feeling the anger burning hot in his veins, he wrenches his arm away from his father. "No!" Ardell shouts the only word he's able to muster up, his entire body shaking in fear, his lip trembling as he fights to hold his ground.

His father looks back at him in disgust and hatred, turning fully back toward him. "What is that you said?"

"I said no! I'm not going home with you." Ardell's shoulders convulse a bit, and he swallows hard. "That money was from mum. It wasn't for you. She left it for me."