Raavi Pov
"I love you my jalebi"
"I will never leave you"
I woke up with jerk. I look around only to find darkness just like my life. My forehead had sweat beads running down, shivering hands, uneven breathing. My hands move to the side table beside my bed. I grab the glass and gulp the water in one go.
The same dreams. Our beautiful memories are haunting me now like nightmare. In this whole 2 years I have never slept peacefully. I move to my balcony and look at the sky full of star but without moon.
Moon. My Chaand. Tears roll down my face thinking about him. I am very emotional and sensitive person. I can't control my tears even if I want. Soon I burst into loud cry. Not a second I have passed without missing him.
I lost him because of me. I.. killed him. I took advantage of his selfless love. And after one week I will betrayed him as after one week Pandya family is going to come for my marriage. How can I marry someone else when my heart, soul, body belongs to my Chaand.
Yesterday my dad took promise from me that I will move from him. He is not someone random person who can be forget. He is the person who gave me second life. He is the person who love be like a mad person. He is the person for whom this heart belongs.
Marrying someone means betrayed him. But I can't say anything to my dad. I can't make him sad. But its doesn't means that I will move on. It is not like that I can't move on, it is that I don't want to move on. For him.
I love him. I miss him everyday. Breathing is also impossible without him. His face, his smile, his laughter, Hazal blue eyes are printed in my head which can't be removed. I don't deserve to be loved by someone. I took away that innocent soul life.
Because of my pain I lost him. How I become selfish?? His selfless love for me was so pure that he gave his life to me. He love the girl who had nothing to give him in return of his love. He loved me in every moment of my life.
He taught me how to live your life. My body was shivering and tears rolled down my face. His face flash in front for my eyes. How happy we were together. But now my body is death without.
In this 2 years I thought to end my life but I can't. This life is gift of my Chaand to me. I have to live for him, for his love. He always wanted me to live my life like normal person and now his wish is fulfilled but he is not there with me.
Sobber left my lips. I don't stand anymore and fell on my knees. I closed my eyes as I felt my chest in pain. It was my emotional pain in form of physical.
" You shouldn't stay in balcony for long time. You will catch cold. Now come inside Jalebi"
His concerned filled voice echo in my ears. With great difficult I drag myself inside as I can't make my Chaand upset. He can't see me in pain.
Why did you left me?? You think I will have peaceful life after you left me?? How you can forget that you are my peace. Your arms are the safest place I can ever found. Why did you leave me?? Why??
This is the question I asked myself and its answer is his unconditional love for me. He left me because he loves me. He left me so I can live my life again. But now I can't. Please come back Chaand. Your jalebi is tired of everything.
Shiva Pov
I look at the room which is totally mess because I broke everything inside me room. How can dad say that I have to marry someone. Marriage?? I just hate it. He wants me to marry to someone. And after getting married get betrayed again.
5 years ago I block every emotions inside me and today all my anger came out in this form. I love that girl so much but she choose to betrayed me. Wasn't I enough for her that she betrayed me. And now getting into other relationship is very difficult for me.
I don't show my emotions it doesn't means that I don't have. I am human begin with emotions but after that betrayed I completely changed. I just wish that she would be with me always by side. But she just left me.
Love is useless. Love is the feeling which I hate the most. I wasted my time, energy and fucking 5 years in this love shit. I can't love anyone more. Love showed me his true color. Love only gives you pain.
Boys also have feelings. They also do true love. And when I truly love her she thought that it was time pass for me. The day when I was about to proposed her for marriage she rejected me saying that I am working at my own company as employee.
I was dreaming my future with her and she was trying to break it and she succeed in it. She broke this boy who love her immensely. She made this soft heart into stone. And no one can make this stone feel anything.
I still wish for someone to be there for me. I saw my parents growing older together with love and care. I want a girl to get older with me. And love me like my mom did to dad.I know its cliche but still everyone has a dream about their love life. And this is my story. I too want a fairy tale love story. A girl who will rule this stone like heart. A girl who will be the reason for my breathing. A girl for whom I will be everything. A girl who will love me.
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How was the first chapter??
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