Past continue
After 2 months
Its been 2 months. Freaking two months since my surgery and I am waiting for Chaand to come but....In this whole two months he never came to meet me. I wanted to see his face first after opening my eyes.
I wanted him to hug me and tell me that I love you. I cried day and night for him. I asked my family to tell me where he is but no one opened their mouths. I went to each and every place where he must have been but I found nothing.
I wanted to see him just once. But where he is??Is he left me?? No he can't leave me ever. Did something happened to him?? But no one said anything to me about him. Did I do something which made him angry??
I want him in front of my eyes, I want to hear his voice, I want him to hug and kiss me, I want him. I prayed everyday for him to come back to me but it never happened.
I want to know if he is safe or not. My cry become louder and I shift to corner of my room. This whole house is echoing because of my cry.
"Shiddharthhhh"
This is the name which roll me tongue from two mouth. I wanted to start my new life with him but he is no where seen. Today my pain is unbearable. I just want him in front of me. Suddenly dad came inside and hug me.
"D..dad...i..wa..want...shi..shiddharth..please..."
I fold my hands in front of him begging him to tell me where he is. If today I didn't knew where he is I will surly die without him.
"Ple..please..take...me..to..him....Shi...shiddharthhh"
I cried and hug me knees closer. I just want him. I want my Shidharth, my chaand. Dad hold my hand and drag me out of the house and made me sit inside his car and drove away.
"We...are..go...going..to...him."
I was suddenly so happy that finally I will meet him but I wasn't aware that my life is going to change from there. I was looking outside the window hoping to reach soon.
Car came to halt and I came out from the car. I came to dad and hold his.
"Please take me to Shiddharth"
I cried and beg him to take me to him. Dad hold my wrist and drag me inside...graveyard. I body went cold thinking about worst. No...my Chaand I leave me. Dad kept dragging me and suddenly stop near stone like bed.
Reading the name I felt my soul left the body. I knee down in front of it as my whole body got numb. I stare at the name.
"Shiddharth Junaid Khan 1994-2021"
I trace my hand on his name and felt every body cell got alive. I was staring at it with pain or like dead body. Dad kept a diary on my lap and went away but eyes were fix on the stone.
My chaand name was written. And you know why it was written because he left me. My Chaand left his Jalebi. He will be not there for me anymore, he will not hug me anymore, I will not able to see his black eyes ever. I lost him.
Suddenly whole graveyard was filled with my cry. I cried. Each passing min my cry was getting louder. The pain was felt in my chest and my whole body. I cry hugging the place where my Chaand is resting.
My whole shattered after knowing that he left me. How can he leave me alone is this cruel world? I cried for hour there not knowing what to do. He left me and took my peace with him. But why did he left me?? What happened to him??
With new fresh tears I opened the diary and first page made me smile.
"Shiddharth love Jalebi"
I recognize the handwriting. It was written by Shiddharth. I stared reading with newly fresh tears
Dear Jalebi,
I know when you will be reading this letter I would have gone far away from you. It not like that I wanted to go away. I am going away from you just for you. I always said that I want you to live your life again. And when doctor said to arrange heart for you it was impossible but I wanted to see you living you life So I gave my heart to you. It was always yours and now it will be always yours only. I knew going away from you will hurt you more than a death do but please live your life. Your Chaand want you to live your life without him. Don't think about me because I will be always there with you but from now you will be living without me. Seeing you dying was painful like hell and I wanted give you new life so I took my life so my love can live her.
Please don't cry over me. Tears don't suit your brown eyes. I knew I gave you most painful thing by snatching your Chaand away but this Chaand fail in front of you. I couldn't have forgiven myself If I let you die. A soul like you doesn't deserve to die. I want you to live your life happily. Complete every dream of yours and ours. Complete your dream of having your own family. Your Shiddharth is always with you. It will be difficult for you but live your life for you Shidharth. My dreams was to see you smiling and living your life.
You are most beautiful girl I have ever see like you. The day your eyes met mine I lost in it. You are very precious for me so take care of your. Your Shidharth loves you and will always love you. Keep smiling Jalebi
Love you
Yours. Only yours.
Shiddharth
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