One Shots!

°•° Flashbacks - Golden Rain °•°

A/N Sokay (so and okay, welcome to ✨new words with M✨ xD) this one shot is going to a be a fun one!! I've had this idea for some time now and so I'm super excited to share it with y'all (because I know you've been wanting to read it too)! This might give you a hint on what this one shot is about: it's going to be from the POV of both Kaybree and Dilan! (Yep, get ready!!) Enjoy my friends!

(P.S. I know that this isn't one you guys voted for, but I've had it finished for a while now and now that everyone knows Kason and Sav's son's name, this one will make sense XD So I thought I'd go ahead and post it)

°•° Dilan °•°

My hand ran through my hair for what felt like the thousandth time today. I cringed, thinking about how I should probably stop before I made it greasy. The last thing I needed was to look unpresentable today.

I'd been thinking about this day for years but had only gotten enough courage to finally do it now. I'd written and rewritten and rehearsed and revised what I was going to say. The lined piece of paper in my lap was crinkled and discolored from how long I'd had it in my pocket. It'd been sitting in there every day for the past year. I'd been meaning to say these words for even longer. Yet I was still so unsure if I was ready.

But ready or not, I couldn't do this anymore. I'd tried so hard, harder than anything I've done before, to make myself stop loving Kaybree and forget that I had a daughter. I'd tried to date again and I'd tried to pretend that my life could move on without her and without them. But I'd quickly learned that that was impossible. If anything, all these years away had just made me love her more. At least grow more desperate. Either way, I felt like I was living through hell without her, knowing that she probably hated me for leaving her and our daughter and hurting her in the worst way I could.

Not that she hadn't chosen this either. I'd been downright shocked when, years ago now, I'd run into her brother again and he told me that Kaybree said I'd forced her into everything. Sure, I'd proposed the idea, but I would never do something like that, especially not to her. And even if I had then, I definitely wouldn't have now. I was different now. I'd found something that was slowly changing my life and me. I'd found a Bible and was trying really hard to understand it. And trying really hard to fix my life again.

This was the next step. Maybe Kaybree didn't love or even like me anymore. Maybe this was just going to make things worse. But I had to do it. I needed to move past this and move on. I hoped—even if it was a small hope—that she'd somehow find it in her heart to forgive me for leaving when she needed me most. I wasn't sure if she would, but I hoped. That's all I could do these days.

Again, my hand nervously found my blond hair and I had to stop myself from slipping my fingers through it. Instead, I let my slightly shaky hand fall to my lap where my phone sat. Like I'd been doing for the past thirty minutes as I sat outside her apartment building, trying to convince myself to get out and go in, I stared down at the one remaining picture I had of her. I'd deleted most of them when I'd spent a few years trying to forget, but this one survived for the simple reason that I couldn't ever completely let her go. It was the two of us together at a dirt bike race, watching one of my friends ride. She'd insisted on taking a selfie but I hadn't wanted to. But the instant she'd snapped the shot, she'd said something funny and so adorably Kaybree that I had smiled. And the genuinity of both of our smiles had made me save this one because it was what I'd loved most about our relationship; she was the only person in the world that made me smile like that. She was the only person in the world I would ever give that smile to.

I needed to go inside. I'd already been here far too long and I probably looked like a creep to the doorman, just sitting in my car and doing nothing. But every time I thought about going inside, I felt like I was going to hurl and I couldn't breathe. But I guess that was just par for the course.