That night Jungkook found himself big-spooning Jimin. It was something that they began to do after Jungkook found that he could actually touch Jimin and it was... nice, for both of them. It wasn't awkward and it didn't feel forced, it just felt right. Jimin hadn't touched or been touched by anyone for the past 3 years that he's been dead and Jungkook's family weren't the cuddly type so it worked out.
"Hey Jimin?"
"Mm"
"Have you ever tried to leave the school? I mean after you died"
Jungkook felt Jimin tense up against him at his unexpected question
"No"
"Why?"
Jimin turned to face Jungkook
"I can't, I don't know why but I can't. I- I've tried to but it's physically impossible for me to leave. When I try to step outside of the school gate, all I feel is excruciating pain. It- it almost feels like I'm dying."
Tears started to form in Jimin's eyes
"And I really really don't want to die again because I don't know if I'll actually be gone this time around and I don't want to take that risk"
Wordlessly Jungkook wiped Jimin's tears and let him talk. He's been wandering around this school for 3 years and has had no one to talk to. He's essentially been in a continuous state of solidarity while still being surrounded by so many people.
"You asked how I died, I committed suicide. I overdosed on anxiety meds. The school didn't want to disclose that because they didn't want it to smear their reputation. I snuck into the nurse's office where they kept the medicine for students who needed them. It wasn't very hard to get in but I guess they upped their game after me. I hated myself for doing it. I was just sick of all the bullying and I couldn't take it anymore but I didn't really want to die. I just didn't wanna be in this place or at home. I wanted to be alone yet loved at the same time and if there is a god he knows that I certainly can't love myself.
"The truth is that I'm scared of dying because I don't know what comes after and I don't know what would have happened had my attempt of killing myself worked, but I regret it. I hate that I'm invisible I hate that I'm alone, I hate that my parents didn't even bother to come get my body after they found out, I hate that my body is rotting in an unmarked grave somewhere in the courtyard of this school, and I hate, hate that I had to sit there and watch in agony as everyone went back to their daily lives after I died without a second thought. No one wondered why I did it, no one tried to find a suicide note, they just kept living. And I guess that's what one does when they are alive, they live but I would've appreciated it if they at least continued to live with the memory of me."
A moment of silence passed, Jimin had just laid some heavy shit on Jungkook, to say the least, and Jungkook felt for Jimin. Of course, he couldn't relate but damn he wanted to help. He just didn't know how.
"Hey, you're not forgotten, you are not alone, and you are not invisible. I see you, I'm here with you, and no matter what happens Jimin, I will always remember you. I know that I can't fix what happened to you while you were alive or make those horrible memories go away, but I can assure you that you are not unloved Jimin"
Jimin was appalled. Jungkook had just indirectly confessed that he loved him and he had no words. Jimin looked into Jungkook's eyes with so much emotion hoping that Jungkook understood that Jimin reciprocated his feelings but just in case he didn't, Jimin leaned in for a kiss. Just for good measure.
And Jungkook did not seem to oppose. They kissed for a while saying everything they wanted to say to each other yet not using words. Jimin's lips were so soft and Jungkook began to wonder if he was imagining it, it wouldn't be the first time.
They were both so lost in the kiss that neither of them heard the shuffling footsteps approaching Jungkook's room.
"Dude!" Taehyung says bursting into Jungkook's room
Jungkook quickly pulls away from Jimin and shoves him under the blankets which in Taehyung's perspective is a very compromising position.
"Can you knock Tae?!" Jungkook yells frustrated
"Damn, why are you so pissed? I'll knock next time..."
But then Taehyung assessed Jungkook's position; one hand under his blanket and a very flushed face.
"Ohhh shit sorry dude I didn't know"
"Wait what? What are you talking about?"
"I see you, there's nothing to be ashamed of, I'll leave you alone so you can finish, literally," Taehyung said raising his eyebrows in a suggestive way
"W-" then Jungkook realized. Taehyung had somehow concluded that Jungkook was jerking off.
"No! Tae i- im not-"
"Don't worry dude it's chill, I'll leave you to it" Taehyung left but not before smiling at his friend suggestively
Once Taehyung left, Jungkook slumped back on his bed with an embarrassed yet frustrated sigh. Jimin came out of the blankets and started laughing uncontrollably. Jungkook just regarded him fondly. He couldn't be mad at Jimin even if it was just for jokes.
"You're lucky I like you," Jugkook said as he tackled Jimin into the bed
"Just like?" Jimin asked teasingly
"Mmm that's up for debate," Jungkook said while planting kisses on the side of Jimin's neck
"And what would you do to me if you didn't like me?"
"Terrible things" (I'm sorry ik this is so fucking cringy but I couldn't think of anything else 😭😭😭 pls forgive me 🙇♀️🙇♀️🙇♀️🙏🙏🙏🙏)
"Like what?"
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Ghost Boy (Jikook AU)
Fanfiction"I wanted to be alone yet loved at the same time and if there is a god he knows that I certainly can't love myself. "The truth is that I'm scared of dying because I don't know what comes after and I don't know what would have happened had my attemp...
