oh underoos

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This is an irondad one-shot that came to me while reading self-harm ffs on ao3 so this was interesting to write I made myself cry. I was writing at 4 a.m. but still. Usual trigger warnings consisting of Swearing, Self Harm, Depression and plz tell me if I missed any as I do not wish to trigger anyone with my stories <3 Also may died early in a car crash or something so peter lives at the tower.

Peter felt as if he had no one. May was dead and Mr. Stark had been through worse and Peter didn't want to seem whiney. MJ and Ned would just think he was weird. Peter's mental health had not been great the past couple months. Peter had kept it to himself though. Mr. Stark and the rest of the avengers had enough on their plates without peter getting in the way. Or at least that's how peter saw it.

The first time Peter cut it was after May had died, Mr. Stark had just shown Peter to his room in the tower and Peter had asked to be alone. He was alone in the room. Peter knew Mr. Stark kept razors and things like that in all the rooms. Peter had heard someone say someone in the upper grades had done it and Peter decided to give it a try. And god did he love the feeling. After that whenever Peter felt alone he knew his blade was there for him.

That had been seven months ago.

Peter had a particularly tough day at school. Flash hadn't held back at all and Ned was on vacation while MJ was out sick so it was just him. Halfway through the day Peter decided not to go to lunch because Flash would be there. So he decided the bathrooms were safer. He knew a bathroom where no one ever went so he would be alone too.

Once he was there he felt he could finally breathe. He also felt the overwhelming need to cut. He kept his razor at the tower because he didn't want to cut in school and potentially get caught. But Peter needed to cut so he searched his bag and found a pencil sharpener. He quickly dismantled it then the blade made contact with his arm and Peter sighed out happily. He made around five cuts before cleaning them and the bell rang for him to get back to class.

Peter wasn't able to fully focus after that. As if the burning on his arm wasn't already enough he also felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. He had cut his arm in an empty school bathroom. That was a new low. What would Aunt May and Uncle Ben think if they were alive and found out. He was disgusted with himself. If the avengers found out they probably wouldn't want him. He was too much.

School was over quicker then Peter expected and he made his way over to Happy's car and sat in the backseat giving a half hearted greeting. Usually he would talk about his day or anything that came to mind but today he took a nap. Peter was tired more often because he had messed up his sleep schedule. Not on purpose or anything. But anyhow he didn't want to show Mr. Stark incase he got worried so he decided to get more energy.

He woke up to Happy shaking him gently. "You ok kid?" Happy questioned him.

"Yeah I'm fine Hap just didn't get much sleep last night. Thanks." Peter responded as he made his way into the elevator and up to Tony's lab.

Peter had his own lab but he and Mr. Stark liked it better when they could work together and it was easier to do that in the same lab.

"Hey Mr. Stark" he greeted once he came into the lab and FRIDAY lowered the music.

"Hey kid how was school?" Tony asked.

God Peter wanted to tell him the truth, sadly he would never allow himself.

"It was okay Ned and MJ weren't there so I was kind of bored all day." At least the Ned and MJ thing was true.

"Oh that sucks" Mr. Stark said frowning. "Well at least now you're home and we can get to work. You like that don't you." He continued.

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