Empty Promises

~ Chapter I ~

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Make me feel like I am breathing
Feel like I am human
Again

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A few hours ago, Chuuya had to drag Dazai out of the river on a cold night. They were supposed to go on a mission together at Mori's orders. Chuuya tried calling Dazai several times, but he did not pick up.

That could mean only one thing: Dazai was attempting suicide again. He had grown accustomed to the feeling by now, attempting it twice a week. Occasionally, he would attempt it three times, but those occasions were rare.

Chuuya had to go to Dazai's 'home' to check on him, but he wasn't there. With the beginning of winter, the nights were getting colder, and Chuuya knew that Dazai could easily freeze to death in his shipping container. That's why Chuuya was letting him sleep in his apartment during the winter. However, there were times when Dazai didn't show up at his doorstep to sleep, and that's when Chuuya knew that he was attempting something again.

Chuuya searched all the places where Dazai usually tried to end his life, but he was nowhere to be found. Walking around the streets of Yokohama, Chuuya braved the freezing weather, despite being well dressed, he still shook slightly from the cold.

After what felt like ages, Chuuya was lucky to come across a river and spot Dazai's body floating, being carried away by the river's waves. With no other choice, Chuuya jumped in after him and pulled him out. The water was so cold that it felt like a thousand knives were pricking his skin. Once he reached Dazai, he grabbed his arm and began swimming towards the shore to get them out of the freezing water.

After Dazai woke up, he was unusually quiet. Usually, he would start joking around about it. But this time was different. On their way back, Dazai didn't say a word.

'Very weird'

Thought Chuuya as they walked back to his apartment. Dazai looked more tired than usual, with deep dark circles under his eyes and a pale face. He looked like he was drained of all his energy.

The fact that he didn't say anything made Chuuya furious. But he tried not to make a scene on the street, so he waited until they got home.

Chuuya couldn't help but feel a sense of unease wash over him as he turned to look at Dazai. They had just reached the elevator, but something was off. Dazai's face was completely devoid of any emotions, his eyes blank and distant, as if he were lost in his own thoughts.

Chuuya had seen Dazai in many different states, but he had never seen him like this before. It was as if Dazai was there only with his body, his mind and soul somewhere far away. The silence between them was palpable, and it only served to heighten Chuuya's growing sense of unease.

As they waited for the elevator to arrive, Chuuya found himself studying Dazai more closely. The normally lively and animated man seemed drained of all vitality, his shoulders slumped and his gaze unfocused. It was as if he had lost his spark, his essence.

He looked empty...

A little worry was starting to build up inside Chuuya as he looked at him. He never saw Dazai this bad before. He was unrecognizable.

It wasn't the first time that he had found him in such a state, and he feared that it wouldn't be the last. He knew that Dazai's battle with depression was an ongoing one, and he couldn't let his guard down.
Chuuya had learned that the hard way.

Chuuya had learned to anticipate these moments and had taken steps to prepare himself for them. He knew that he couldn't control Dazai's actions, but he could control the environment in which they occurred.