Forbidden Touch (Fyodor Dostoevsky x reader/OC) BSD

Perhaps... - 8

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    Y/N's POV

+Warning+

- Panic attack and hyperventilating

Proceed with caution 

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The hallway feels longer than it was, narrow, thin, tight, and tiny. My heart raising, beating out of my chest, suffocating my lungs, unsteady beating, my eyes shaking, hazing, my body feeling more and more paralyzed, the world around not feeling real anymore, and then... 

Black... Brightness hit my eyes and I opened my eyes to where it was coming from when I did I saw that I was on top of the trap door lying on the ground, I felt my whole body weight pulling me to the ground. I fight the urge to just remain laying and sat and looked at my surrounding to see nothing changed and there was also no one. 

I stood and cleaned myself I felt like fainting every second but not here at least not here, I walked to the door and slipped out, I saw that the sky was dark and I was thinking about where can I stay for a little while since the motel I lived in is destroyed. I then walked the streets without much thought and just kept walking till I found myself near the ADA, I walked there, and as I opened the door I fell straight to the ground. 

Opening my eyes once again I observe my surrounding that I was in an infirmary, sitting up slightly as someone walked towards me. The curtain was moved to reveal Ranpo with snacks in his hand, he saw that I was awake and hurriedly put everything down on a chair.

"Y/N!!!" He hugged me and I returned the favor. "What happened? The people downstairs said you walked in and then immediately collapsed" He questioned and I then remember why I was like this, I have actually put everyone in trouble, and he... all of them.

"I screwed up Ranpo..."I buried my eyes into his shoulder. "I fucked up real bad..." He rubbed my back and I backed up. "ANdn ow everyone is in trouble and- and you and the Agency and Angels and everyone" I couldn't hold it anymore, I cried silently but uglily. 

I want him right now, I need him, he would know how to comfort me right now, he always comforts me no matter what we're doing, where is he? I felt a pair of cold hands holding my hand and I was hoping it was him, Fyodor but no it was... Fyodor. I stopped crying for a moment and just stared at him, he had a tender smile present and then his hand started to rub my hand, his hand... it's different, it's not him. 

I was thinking of reasons why it wasn't him, it looked like he has master got him yet?!?!?! Until I saw it, a little snowflake I then remembered. In a report I had complied with the Agency, a member here has the ability to change his surrounding looks, this must be it but how did he know? That I needed him, I wanted him.

He stopped staring and just looked down continuing to cry, why is this happening? Why is RAnpo doing this to me? I cried until he turned back again as himself, he stood and fully hugged me. After all these years, these years filled with the endless mission, endlessly just watching them from afar, his here. He backed away and sat. 

"Sorry I just wanted to make sure, I get it if you don't and can't talk right now but we have to discuss it eventually-" I didn't want to hear more of his voice, right now I don't hear anyone, anything unless it's him.

I got under the cover and continued to sob quietly, I hear shuffling till suddenly I hear a familiar voice. 

"They're an old friend~" GOing out of the cover I see him, my drinking mate, many years ago. "Hey, there old friend~ Ooo it seems like you need some alone time~ I bought drinks!" His smile still haunts me, his eyes engraved into my memory, his name is Dazai Osamu. 

"Dazai... A former executive of Port Mafia, an employee from ADA, a part of Decay of Angels, and a prisoner at the great facility before now back to being a useless nobody in the ADA..." I said sternly, repositioning myself and remembering how our last encounter went. 

"Ahh, say, did you know all that when we met years ago or did you just find out recently?" He teased as he pour a glass for me, offering it to me he took his own. "To you finally free~" He took a sip and I looked at the drink, hesitating to drink not cause I don't trust him it's because last time I couldn't help myself and ended up telling Him everything. 

"No thanks." I put the glass away and then he turned from smirking to his serious face.

"Look, every organization is currently in peace and I put everything into it so when I hear that the Decay of Angels is back being a threat as one of their member is angry I want to solve it before it became a bigger problem." He said lowly piercing through me. "So... how about it?~" He backed away and rested his back again. 

"I would love to but right now- a member of theirs is angry?" I questioned him and he just nodded happily. "But... I'm not part of any organization that is..." I then realize how secret my 'organization is with their where about. "Shit, no one knows which organization I'm part of."

"Not even you dearest friends there... no one knows who you are. What are you going to do about it?~" He teased and I just sat trying to find a solution.

Come on Y/N, this is all your good for, solving problems and then leaving without any trace. I tried to think every day I can but my head keeps going back to him, Fyodor Dostoevsky. I then remembered what did before I was 'thrown' off. My relationship with Dazai Osamu is... complicated, to put it simply. We met at a bar and we talked in codes that high intelligence understand, at first I just wanted to talk about my problem but put it in coed so no normal people know what it means but he understood