Severus Snape Oneshots

Severus Snape Headcannons

Animals

- Now, it is easy to assume that Severus likes cats (or at least doesn't mind them) and it's true
- However, you'd be incorrect if you thought that Severus hated dogs. He happens to strongly dislike the loud, constantly shedding, slobbery ones
- Those factors make it easy for him to classify all dogs as bothersome creatures

- He would not be against having one of those ugly shih-tzus or even something such as a cocker spaniel

- He loves cats and he understands that not all of them want attention, some preferring their own company (much like himself)
- However, there are just some days where he'd gladly appreciate to come home to a dog patiently waiting for him at his front door

Amphibians & Reptiles:

- No, just.....no.

- Severus doesn't dwell on the company of creepy, scaly lizards, jumping frogs, bearded dragons, or hissing snakes

- Yes, he is well aware of the irony that appeals to this situation- considering his personality could be compared to a snake and it it also the mascot of his Hogwarts house

- He's never cared for reptiles in the first place, though he wasn't always as harsh about them

- When Severus was nine, he was walking along the fields of his hometown after having avoided the house by visiting small shops all day

- He had his eyes forward, not having seen the garter snake wrapped in a swirl

- Now, naturally, garter snakes are harmless; their venom isn't poisonous. However, just like most living creatures, they can become aggressive when provoked

- Severus accidentally caught the side of the snake with the edge of his shoe, then getting bitten by the snake as it hissed at him

- He cried like a baby and ran the rest of the way home, thinking he was going to die

- When describing what had had happened to his mother, who had ran out of the house when she heard her son spouting incoherent words with tears running down his face, he could hardly breathe

- She ended up getting angry with him after having heard his description of the snake- his panic wasn't necessary as it was a mere garter snake

- This traumatized Severus even more and he shudders every time he thinks of it

Plants

- Severus has quite the collection of plants in his house, classroom, and bedroom- some on his desk and some on the windowsill

- He likes plants because they are aesthetically pleasing to the eye and he can take care of them without the burden of putting up with their negative characteristics (unlike humans and animals)

Human interactions:

--

-- *Somebody sneezes*

Severus: "Stop making noises."

vs.

--*You sneeze*

Severus: *looks at you blankly, blinks twice, looks away* "Bless you.." he lowly mutters

--

-- Random student: "Can I please use the bathroom??"

   Severus: "No, sit down. You should've used it before class."

vs.

  You: "Can I use the bathroom?"

  Severus: "I don't know, can you?"