Is This Love?

-Chapter 9-

Adobis POV

The nightmares are terrible and worse. But the Alpha...he helped me throughout the whole night. We were up over and over again. I love him... I wake up before him. It is 5:30 am.

I should make breakfast, however; I don't want to leave the bed. It's so warm and comfortable. I do anyway. I look at the clock again. How is it 6:00 am? 30 minutes pass it felt like not even 30 seconds. Everything feels like it is in slow motion even my thoughts. I manage to get out of bed without waking Sebastian up.

When I finally get down to the kitchen to make my Alpha breakfast, the thought of him being my Alpha makes my insides tense and my knees lock. It is like a dream come true. I love the feeling but I don't know what it is. I decided I want to make a big farmer's breakfast for Sebastian. It is about 8:00 am when I finally get done. I suddenly feel a sense of pure panic and slight agitation. I have no clue where it is coming from.

"Adobis!!!" Sebastian comes running down the stairs as soon as I turn to leave the kitchen.

"Good I was abo-"

"Oh, Goddess! I thought something happen to you." Panting as he cut me off.

The reason for the panic became so much more apparent now. He woke up without me and was worried. What is this feeling?!?! It's like butterflies in my stomach. The fear of distressing and disappointing my mate came upon me. I fell into a sudden panic because I didn't want him to be mad at me.

"I am sorry!!! You helped me through the night, therefore I wanted to make breakfast for you..."

"It's fine. Please let me know next time you decide to make breakfast. We have to meet in my office later after patrols, ok?"

"Ok" I look at the floor, however; I don't think he noticed my panic or maybe ignored it.

We have to talk about some mating stuff plus they still want to talk about what my parents did to me. I don't want to talk about my parents, but I will have to. I am excited to see him again. Going to see him was not like this before. After patrols, I meet Sebastian in his office as he asked...

"Hi, Alpha!" I say as I walk into his office and sit in a chair.

"Good afternoon, little one." He looks up at me with a smirk. When he says that name... it brings on a quake down my spine that settles at my bottom, "Are you ready to get started?"

"Yes, what exactly are we talking about?"

"We are going over our mating stuff and them talking about how your parents abused you." He explains with no emotion on his face. It makes me nervous...

"Alright...what do you want to talk about first?" This was already making me uncomfortable. There was a quiver in my voice that Sebastian picked up on.

"Mating stuff baby... We can talk about your parents at a different time if you would like?" There is a gentleness in his voice that pulls at my being not just my heart.

"Please...I don't think that I am ready. Plus, mating stuff is more important and fun to talk about."

He looks at me with a look. The 'Are you ok look'. That isn't what I want right now, but it brings the worries of the kitchen down. After a moment his face changes to something hopeful. There was a glint in his eye.

"So what are we going to talk about first?" I question. I knew sex was going to be brought up at some point. Might as well get it over with. 

"Well, do you want to talk about the mating ceremony or the wedding?"

"What is a mating ceremony?" I question. His eyes go as wide as saucers.

"You are joking, right?"

"No, I am afraid I am not. What is it?"

His eyes were laced with anger and we were shielded with unbelief. "We will be mating under the moon in front of the pack and the Moon Goddess. It shows our love and commitment to another in a public manner."

"So... I am going to have to have sex with you in front of everyone?!?!" My voice goes high.

"Not everyone. Parents, elders. And children under 18 leave. Mostly mates and people of our age stay. Do not worry, Mate, everything will be fine."

"I don't want our first time to be in front of people, though." I don't want people to see me. I have scars all over my body. Some from me and most from my dad or bullies. It never mattered that I was the Beta's son. I was a submissive so they did not care or even give a second look about what the repercussions if they hurt me might be. Once they found out there were not any, all hell broke lose.

Even through all my thoughts his voice cut through. "Mate it's ok. Our first time doesn't have to be in front of people. I want to have sedx with you as soon as you are comfortable with it. I would have already had sex with you if you didn't seem so uncomfortable around even talking about it."

"Can we do it for the night before? It will give my mind some peace if I know when and what to expect."

"Of course, little one. Whatever you need, I am happy to get for you." Those words sent shivers up my spine yet again. The butterflies reappear. There was a look in his eye when our eyes met next, however; I had not a clue of what it might be.

Shortly after, we finished talking about everything. From the food, to the clothes, to the colors. We had everything figured out. We just needed to get them. The ceremony will be in 3 months. All we have to do is get everything. I am so excited honestly.

I get back to our room. Sebastian decided to stay late to do some extra work. He said he would be back later

"Hello," I turn to see no one. I don't know what is happening until I recognize the voice. It was a feminine male voice. A voice that is only suitable for a submissive wolf.

"Are you my wolf?"

"Yes"

"Why haven't you talked to me? Why did you leave me alone? I hear about kids having their wolves but I haven't heard a word. Why did-" Before he could speak, questions bombarded my head. Hundreds of questions filled my mind.

"I'm sorry. Your- our parents, they scared me. I was too afraid to come out. It wasn't like I didn't want to. I just couldn't."

A sudden flash of anger rose in me. "What do want now that everything is ok? Here for the good but then as soon as something bad happens, will you be gone again?"

"I-"

Suddenly Sebastian walks in, "Let me talk to him." A stern voice interrupted our short argument.

I look at him confused, "What?"

"My wolf wants to talk to your wolf. You two are arguing. I can hear it from my office."

"I thought you could only do that once you marked me?"

With a small smile he sighed at me, "little one, I have so much to teach you..."