Lonely Monsters

seven

I was becoming a pro with this whole, makeup  thing. In highschool, I just wore liquid eyeliner and maybe a bit of colored shadow. I wasn't a big make up person, but what a little concealer and sealant did was amazing. The dark rings under my eyes, the greyness, the black around my hands and even the unevenness around my throat disappeared. After staring at my image in the mirror for a bit, I stood up and asked Monique how I looked.

"...Like a photoshopped model from Seventeen Magazine. Post-2007." she said, flipping through the Korean magazine we bought a few days ago. She held up a page for me to see. "We should do one of these styles for your hair. Frame your face or something."

"I was thinking of just straightening it." I ran my fingers through the ends of my ponytail. It felt... longer.

"Do you really want to go out? we could stay home, watch movies?" Monique stood beside me in the full length mirror. We used to be the same height and similar build, we looked like sisters. Now... we looked like... distant cousins at best. 

"I'll be back around dawn?" I said, tugging on a sweater and pinning my hair up into some neat bun. I looked at the list of names I had. Sean, Mike, Jason, Clint, Terra, Diane and Lisa. It would be easy enough. I asked if a few of people I knew years ago wanted to hang out. People that lived within ten minutes of me, said sure and we went to a bar. 

Ravis told me, if anyone was my soul mate, when I met them, I would feel the connection immediately. In the first few days, I had gone through fifty names, lunches, dinners, and a brunch or two. Sunglasses, and combinations of certain foods left me feeling good. Not great, not normal, but good enough to function in regular social settings.

When I started doing one on one dates with people, I found some rather... interesting things.

My friends, had changed from when I last saw them. They had done things with their lives, gone to college, school, some had kids, and some were on the rocks.

One of my best friends, Sean, was just visiting family up here in Detroit for the winter, and as soon as March rolled in would be back in New York. He worked as a waiter, but his life calling was music and DJing. He'd met a plethora of stars, stopping in the diner he worked and getting autographs or photos when the moment was right. 

Our other friend Jason, went through Naval training and through the military attended college and technical school. He traveled from America, Japan, and even Puerto Rico for a bit. Both of them were broader and taller and I was easily dwarfed by them. A goofy laugh and a dorky smile, and we were back in seventh grade, laughing behind our textbooks and being idiots in prealgebra.

Sean had been going steady with his girlfriend, Felicia, for some time. And the way he spoke of her was something.... heart warming. I felt happy for my friend, my brother, and there was a bit of childhood jealousy bubbling in my gut. When we had coffee one night at a poetry club, I saw the velvet box he had been juggling when taking out his wallet. 

"....I'm afraid she'll say no... You're a girl Mimi, what type of proposal do you think I should do?" he sipped his iced hazel nut coffee.

Jason's eyes were also on me, but he snorted. "Just barely."