Dazai Angst Oneshots

The anniversary of his death.

TW! mentions of death and slight mentions of suicide

(Rewrote this:p)

Another normal day in the daily life of Yokohama citizens. Nothing special, just a normal weekday like every single other one. It wasn't special for the Armed Detective Agency as well.

Everyone was doing their work in complete silence. The only noises that echoed in the office were keyboard clicking and a few huffs or coughs every now and then.

There was just one person that wasn't working as hard as the others were. In fact, he wasn't doing any work at all. That was obviously Dazai. He was just lazing around on the couch as he usually would. However, this time it was different. He knew what happened this day, exactly 4 years ago. He stared blankly at the ceiling and let himself drown in his own thoughts.

It has been 4 years. Only 4 years since one of the dearest people to him died. How could he move on so quickly? How could he replace his best friend so quickly? He could still hear his own screaming sometimes, or his best friend's words echoed in his head, haunting him, because would Odasaku even be proud? Would he appreciate his efforts? Or were they useless? Maybe he should try harder to become a good person...

("ODASAKU!")

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

"Dazai."

...

"Dazai."

...

"Dazai! Can you stop slacking off and get to work already?"

The angered voice ripped him away from his thoughts. When he looked away from the ceiling, his gaze met the annoyed expression of his colleague.

"Hm... I'm sorry Kunikida-kun, but I'll sadly have to pass. I have to try this new suicide method I discovered recently!"

Dazai smiled sheepishly before getting up from the couch. He stretched out and went to the door.

"Get back here you bastard!", He heard Kunikida call after him as he was leaving the room. The door shut closed and a sigh echoed through the office.

Ranpo stared at the whole scene from his desk, munching on some crisps as always.

"Let him be, Kunikida", he also knew what happened that day.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Okay, well maybe Dazai wasn't planning to try a new suicide method this time, but he did have some places he had to visit.

His first stop was the flower shop.

He picked out a bouquet made from some red roses and white tulips. He flirted with the lady at the shop a bit before leaving, just the usual routine. The florist smiled at him kindly but showed him a ring on her finger, saying that she's married and is not looking for lover.

A shame really. She was such a beautiful woman(not that Dazai ever called a woman not beautiful)

Well, he wasn't about to ruin someone's marriage, so he kindly thanked for the flowers with a smile and left the shop.

Then, he decided to buy a candle he found pretty at another store. A nice older lady worked there. She thoughts that the flowers were for the charming young man's love interest and wished him luck on his confession. Well, she was kind regardless and it made Dazai smile(something he'd never, ever admit to anyone because his emotions aren't supposed to be real ).

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

"Long time no see, Odasaku", he said as he put the bouquet down, lighted up the candle and then sat behind the grave, his favourite spot.

It started to rain shortly after, but Dazai only smiled, tilting his head back and letting the cold raindrops fall on his face then trail down. His hair and clothes soon became damp from the rain, making him look like a total mess, yet it didn't matter to him at all.

"Oh, the memories this date brings me back",he said with a smile. A sad smile.

Sure, it's been four years, and sure, he was a changed man now, on a completely different side with completely different people around him, but he still missed his best friend. He'd actually never even gotten over his death in the first place. All the happy times they used to have together turned into simple, happy, nostlagic memories. Their friendship was still alive, but only in his mind.

His head fell back down and his eyes trailed to his hand. He could still feel the warm blood of his friend on it. He could even still see it. Feel the emotions he felt beck then. His fist clenched the same way it did back then.

"Damn you, Mori", he only managed to whisper as a few tears ran down his cheeks. It still hurt as hell.

(Dazai Osamu isn't someone who cries. He's not supposed to. He's not even human, why would he cry? It makes him look vulnerable too, which is absolutely ridiculous and unacceptable. But, in moments like these, he's alone. Nobody can see him anyway, so a few tears are... Somewhat accepta-)

"Dazai."

Suddenly, the rain stopped. Wait no, it didn't, he could still hear the rain, he just... Couldn't feel it anymore. When he looked up, he saw a familiar man who was holding an umbrella for him. Dazai cleared his throat to get rid of any trembling or other signs of emotions.

"Oh. Long time no see Ango" He said with a light-hearted manner as he got up. The man stayed silent, and an awkward silenece settled between them for a second or two.

"So, what are you doing here?"

"Well", Ango looked down at the grave with a hint of guilt in his eyes, "I come here every year to see his grave"

"Really? Strange we've never met before then, isn't it?" Dazai said with a smile as he turned away and began to walk away. Ango reached out after him, but the distance was too big to grab him.

"Wait, Dazai!"

He stopped, but didn't face the man.

"You uh, know I had to do it, right...?", Ango looked down, "I'm sorry it had to end up like this."

The corners of Dazai's mouth twitched upwards again, the fists in the pockets of his beige coat clenched tightly.

"Well it's too late now, isn't it?" Was all he said before leaving Ango all alone in front of their drinking buddy's gravestone, in the rain. 

word count: 1029

A/N

Hello again! Im sorry I was unactive for a while, school is taking all of my energy so I didn't write anything, but I have a cold right now so I wrote this oneshot :D

Hope you liked it! 

Remember you're more than enough and that I'm incredibly proud of you!!!

Have a nice day/afternoon/night <33