Secrets

~Chapter 17~

I blink awake to find the diary in my lap. Oh right, I didn't finish reading it! I grab it and open it to where I stopped, continuing to read.

Dear diary,

For real this time, so Addy helped me today, I held my sword to her throat but my heart was pounding, I was so scared I was going to accidently drop it and kill her. I never want to kill her. But Achillean didn't even seem to care! What kind of brother is he?! So much for the 'Tidesinger' I personally think the Tidesinger should be NICER to his sister, who is trying her best. Fun fact, everything I am writing in this journal I am saying out loud, in a camp full of Voltaris, who I am sure if they read this diary would be very confused, maybe they are, they're probably wondering who 'Addy' is. But anyways, I dragged her out on the battlefield to get Achillean's attention because that fool just ran off without another word about it and she yanked on my earring so it cut my ear open, It hurt so BAD. I actually cried, and I NEVER cry, oh accept for the night I killed everyone in Nestoria, Mendoria, Sendaria, and Kaltaria and lost any chance I had with Addy. But that was it!

"He cried after he ran away...?" I ask, heartbroken. This diary cracks me up sometimes but also makes me feel like I was just stabbed in the gut multiple times.

So... I'm getting off topic, anyways, I literally dropped onto my knees and cried. I felt so WEAK. But then she came over and I thought she was going to kill me so I was ready for it, but instead she healed me, and I just didn't know what to do so I did the most LOGICAL thing. Sat there and looked stupid. I don't know what I was planning to do but I stood up, if one of the things I was planning to do was look like a dumbfounded Voltaris male who is in love with a Nestoris female that I did that without any flaw. If it was to look intimidating... well I can safely say I failed that miserably. Then she started to run away and for SOME REASON I reached towards her as if I could grab her when she was feet away from me! I feel stupid, because then I just went back to fighting, That's normal right?

I laugh a bit, that explains his confused expression, I thought he was standing up to grab me or something but he was just confused on why he was even standing up, he cracks me up, because with this, I get to see his side of the story.

Dear diary,

My hand hurts from writing to much. Fun fact, I've broken exactly 20 quills each time I write in this journal. Another fun fact, I accidentally dropped my journal in water and the ink wasn't even smudged. Another thing, I've looked back on all of my previous entries and can safely say I am obsessed with her. Even when we were 'just friends' I think she loves me back—LOVED me back. I think it's a healthy obsession though because I have a few reasons why I am not a pervert. 1. If she died or I killed her I would NOT sleep with her dead body or sleep on top of her grave, or keep her dead body in a chest in my room. I think that's a pretty strange thing to do. Makcon actually went through seven mates and killed two of them and did that with all of their bodies, slept with them... He creeps me out. Honestly if he kills another one of his mates I'm going to have to execute him—well, he killed another one... so should I make it a public execution or a private one where I tell him I need to talk to him, tell him he's creepy then stab him?

Dear diary,

I did a private execution. He asked why I had summoned him, I told him he was a pervert and a creep and for some weird reason he asked WHY I THOUGHT THAT. Oh it's not like he SLEPT with DEAD BODIES. Yeah, totally questionable. I didn't answer because I didn't want to and just stabbed him. I also think he read my diary... good thing he's dead, I don't need anyone seeing this stuff. If Addy ever finds this journal, she's going to be creeped out I'm sure. I'll burn it later, unless I accidentally bought un-burnable leather to bind it with... I don't think I did but this is not an obsession, not at all...