The Way of Things

Six

Six

I could no longer deny my feelings for Ahasuerus. Nor could I deny what the Lord wanted for me. But breaking off the engagement would hurt Nathan, something I was loathed to do. I continued to pray over the next couple of days, but I still felt so confused.

And now here I was, just two days away from the wedding, and confusion still consumed me. I wondered why the Lord didn't just tell me Nathan wasn't the one for me from the beginning. I really missed hearing His voice.

Perhaps He had told me and I just hadn't listened. I felt so ashamed.

I was on my knees praying again when there was a knock at my door. I hurried to answer it. Ahasuerus was standing on the porch, his eyes sad but full of love. Taking my hands, he dropped to his knees before me.

"Please marry me, Hadassah. I know we are meant to be together. You said you still haven't gotten an answer, but maybe this is the answer. I know I don't have the money Nathan does and can't buy you all the things he can, but I can give you my heart and a promise to love you with everything that I am. I have a good job, some savings, and can provide you with a comfortable living, and we will have the Lord. That is the most important thing. Please marry me and let me give you the life you deserve, the life God wants you to have. I'm not a perfect man, but I know that with you by my side, I will be better. Please, Hadassah."

As I listened to his soul-stirring proposal, the confusion and despair I'd felt slowly lifted. I knew what I had to do then. There was no other choice. I would rather live in a shack with Ahasuerus, the man I loved, than in a palace with someone I didn't. I knew what was important. True love had changed my view of everything.

"Yes, Ahasuerus," I finally answered, joy filling my heart. "I will marry you."

Smiling, Ahasuerus rose to his feet, tears shimmering in his eyes. Then he drew me into his arms and kissed me for the first time. His mouth moved over mine passionately and I melted against him. After a few moments, I parted my lips from his and whispered, "I need to go. I have to tell him now."

"Will you be okay going to see him alone?"

Nodding, I grinned. "I'm a second-degree black belt, Ahasuerus. I'll be fine."

He chuckled. "I have no doubt you will be physically fine. I mean emotionally."

"I hate hurting him, but in the end, we would both be hurting if I don't do this now." I checked my watch. "I'll call him now to make sure he's home." Calling off the wedding would be a little costly for Nathan (he would have to pay a hefty cancelation fee for the banquet hall where the ceremony and reception would have taken place) but he could afford it.

Ahasuerus followed me inside and waited while I made the call. I was glad he was staying, hating to be away from him for any amount of time. Now that I had decided, I couldn't wait to be his wife.

I was surprised to hear a slurred female voice answer Nathan's phone. Keeping my own calm, I asked, "May I speak to Nathan?"

"He's in the shower," came the laughing response. Then I heard the woman call, "Hey, baby, the phone is for you."

I couldn't believe it! What a scumbag! my mind screamed, and I quickly realized I wasn't really hurt by the discovery that I had been about to marry a cheat.

Having heard enough, I hung up, feeling more grateful for my decision than ever. Marrying Nathan would have been a grave mistake indeed. Yeshua had known this, even when I had not. He had given me a choice and allowed me to make it, and now I felt the sweet peace of knowing I had chosen right. I vowed then and there to never again make a decision of such magnitude without going to my Lord first.

"Are you okay?" Ahasuerus asked, pressing a hand to my cheek.

I smiled. "I'm perfect."