The way We survived- A Johnnyboy Story

The Killer Brothers

*ED INCOMING AND SUICIDE MENTION INCOMING*
Johnny's POV:
I wake up to the smell of bacon. I'm so happy to be home. Pony's arms are wrapped around me. I slowly wiggle out of his grip and sit up. I stand off of the bed, looking back down at him. He is is beautiful. He has soft pale skin, straight dark brown hair, a button nose, and those lushous pink lips. I've been staring enough, I walk out into the kitchen.

"Good morning." I croak, my voice sucks in the morning.

"Good Morning Johnny." Darry says as he finishes up the pancakes.

"Morning Johnny." Soda says sipping his coffee. Wait coffee? Since when does Soda drink coffee, but he actually does look tired. His face his sad, and tired. That coffee looks like all the energy he's getting. 

"Are you okay Soda?" I ask quietly, sitting down in front of a plate. Me and Soda have never been super close, but we all look out for each other.

"Honestly, no." He's talking as quietly as me which is something he never does. I could've swore he was fine just yesterday.

"I haven't slept much since you and Pony were gonna. I've been worried as hell, and even now I'm still on edge." A few tears streamed down his face, and I could tell he had much more to say. 

"Soda we're doing a lot better now. What else is wrong?" I ask, I feel really bad for him because his problems are constantly over looked. He's always been perfect- movie star- Sodapop Curtis

"I think I'm gay Johnny." He murmurs so quietly I can barely hear him. I'm also very lost because him and Steve are dating so I thought it was obvious. Is he in denial?

"Aren't you with Steve?" I ask, genuinely confused.

"Yeah but like it's not just like dating anymore. I like... I wanna... maybe. Marry him?" He sounds sure, but at the same time not want to admit it.

"Well then Marry him Soda, he's your boyfriend. You love him don't you? So what if you gay?" For once my voice gets a little louder than it normally is.

"Should I actually do it? Should I marry him? I think I really want too." Sodapop Curtis is asking for my permission to marry Steve. Wow.

"Yes Soda you should." I encourage.

Just then PonyBoy walks in. Did I mention he's beautiful?

"Good morning." He voice is laced with sexy rasp. I love it.

"Good morning Pone." I respond.

Darry and Soda say there good mornings too as breakfast begins.

We all get passed out pancakes. Pony only gets passed one, an orange juice, and syrup.

Me and Soda get eggs, bacon, two pancakes, syrup, and an orange juice.

We all sit around  the table and begin to eat. Pony pours a small amount of syrup on his pancake, before cutting a small piece and placing it in his mouth. I rub his back with my left hand, seeing the struggle on his face. He eats half before he begins to sob.

PonyBoy's pov:
I feel the anxiety attack coming as my body begins to shake. I close my eyes, steadying my breathing as Johnny wraps his arms around me. Numbers swirl in my head.

"F-fuck. T-the calories." I sob out.

"They don't matter Pone, just eat. You need to, it'll make you feel better." Darry's hard voice orders. He was right. I don't like admitting that but he was.

I down the rest of the pancake. The syrup makes me feel disgusted with myself.

I look down at my left hand. I've got to throw up. I let out a pained whimper.

"Don't do it." I am surprised to hear Sodas voice. 

He takes my hands is his.

"You did good Pony. I'm so happy to see you eat your breakfast." He cheers.

"T-thanks." I cry harder. Eating is so hard. Why can't I just be like everyone else, and not have this bummy ass disorder anymore?

We all get up and clean ourselves up after breakfast. We all showered and got ready for the day. Today is Sunday, but thankfully me and Johnny don't have to go back to school until two weeks from now, because our mental excuse was for a whole month.

"Darry can we take the truck for a drive?" Ask Soda. Who was we? Me and Johnny are just chilling on the couch, and Darry was in his arm chair.

"Sure, I'm off today and, am probably going to be home for the rest of the day." He pick continues to scroll on his phone.

"Ok. C'mon Pone, Johnny I wanna take y'all for a ride." Me and Johnny give him a confused look; but nevertheless follow right behind him.

We get into Darrys truck, and Soda begins to drive.

"So how are you guys doing? I'm taking us for a drive just so we can talk. Because we all need to. Who wants to start?" He ask. Me and Johnny exchange glances.

"Well I'm not doing to bad, but I still don't really want to eat. Or go to school..." I wince. "School gives me anxiety once I started getting bullied."

"Pone, they're gonna be bullies no matter what stage of life you're in. You just have to show that you don't give a fuck and sooner or later they won't either." Soda replies smoothly. Everyday I wonder why he dropped out. In my eyes he's smart as fuck.

"What about you Johnny?" He ask.

"Well, I've been way less suicidal, and I haven't had an anxiety attack in one month." He says quietly.

"That's great, but what's bothering you?" Soda ask.

Johnnys pov:
What was bothering me?

"I just-" before I can fully comprehend my thoughts, a soft sob escapes my mouth. "I feel like I'm not good enough, for anything good that I receive. I just feel like there are so many other people out there that deserve my life. Other than me. Why do I get to be happy? There's nothing worthy of me, that deserves good." I continue to sob but i feel a lot lighter after saying that.

The car stops and Soda gets out, followed by PonyBoy, and me.

We are on a beautiful hill, where the sunset is just perfectly visible.

"I know how you feel Johnny." Soda is crying.

"After my parents died, I came here to kill myself." He pauses. "Don't you remember PonyBoy? The day after they died, I took Darry's truck, and said I was going to Steve's house?" He ask.

Pony nods.

"I came here to do it, but then decided you guys couldn't handle another person dead." He sobs. "But sometimes i still come back here. In reality I really can't take it..." he sobs harder. "And I really want to go, but I'm scared to leave everyone." He paused again. I can feel my anxiety attack coming on. I really hope he doesn't try.

"I really love Steve, but he could live without me." He continues to sob.

He takes a small step forward and I grab his wrist so fast, pulling he back harder than I knew I could. He stumps back and crumbles.

"Don't."

"Take it from two people who have attempted suicide before."

PonyBoy is crying too hard himself to speak.

"S-soda. You c-can't die. W-we all l-love y-you. Your S-Sodapop Curtis." He says Sodas name like he's famous. Soda gets up hugging both of us tightly.

Before I know it we are in the car on the way back home.

-This chapter was kinda sad, but don't worry the happy ending is still coming guys 😊😊😊-