Deities of Deceit

Chapter Twenty-five

Nimah Eze | Twenty-five
STALLIONS IN THE SKY
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Iman and I spent the rest of the morning stirring up ideas of what qualities my outfit should possess. Though we spent most of our adult lives readying Arjana's most elite for grand balls and exquisite occasions, we hadn't the slightest clue what was befitting for a royal ball.

"What do you want your dress to make you feel?" Iman asked, to broaden imagination.

I was not entitled to feeling special, nor was I entitled to imagining myself in royal linings, surrounded by beautiful things, and the most gracious people. So even then, I wasn't sure what to feel. I tried to put myself in a black man's shoes and fantasize about what it'd feel like to be precious, desired, respected. My mind couldn't fathom it, it was totally incomprehensible to me.

"Like I matter," I replied after a long stretch of silence.

She looked at me with a wholesome stare and maybe a slight tinge of pity. I wasn't sure why.

"You matter, Habibi," she said. "And if you don't feel like you do now, pretend."

I went about my chores with an aching nervousness. After Iman had left, it dawned on me the next day would be the day my eyes would finally behold the queen. In person. Not in a dream, or nightmare, or fantasy. I'd finally get to see what she truly looked like in person. In my head, I poured over all the descriptions of her I had read about in the history scrolls. Oval face some said, heart-shaped face others said. Bright eyes, limited in height but resounding in a commanding aura. Small lips the color of rose some said, brown lips the color of cocoa others said.

It was all a jumble, but it made for a full elated mind as imagined and re-imagined the curves of her. I giggled while feeding the chickens, swooned while doing the dishes, and while I ragged the floors I caught myself dazed, frozen in one position as images flew in and out of my head. I hadn't dreamed of attending the ball, but now it seemed it was all my mind could do.

The Adachi residence boomed with the finest tailors, bead makers, threaders, uli make-up artists, massage attendants, all there to ready Khada's most eligible bachelor, Udume.

Lolo Adachi was particular about what she wanted Udume to look like, how his hair should be done, what shoes he'd wear, how his uli make-up should be drawn and where, and it frequently clashed with what Chief Adachi wanted Udume to look like. It led to numerous arguments between the Lolo and the Chief that echoed throughout the residence.

It'd be the first time I had ever seen Chief Adachi riled up by a simple engagement. He rarely showed any interest in readying Udume during the past Igbankwu. But of course, with the marriage to the queen on the line, he took a different stance. I was thankful for it. The Chief despised interacting with white people, too, so for the most part, I wasn't allowed anywhere close to Udume, leaving me to my day-dreaming ways.

The moon had risen by the time I was done with chores. I informed the Lolo of my wish to attend The Night of The Veil, of which she simply laughed me out of the room with Mmachi, saying she couldn't stop me even if she wanted to. I had thought it'd be a difficult conversation, but walking back home I realized telling Mama about my decision would be far more difficult. Since my public torture, she'd treated me like I was breakable, but she was the breakable one.

Every time I was scolded by any of the Adachi's, she'd console me like that wasn't something I experienced my whole life. I'd normally let my brothers share the last piece of meat after dinner, but Mama now insisted it was mine alone. If I scratched my feet, she'd worry about it, if I had a fever, then I was dying. It was the reason I stirred away from revealing the problems my magic had been posing. How strange things kept happening to me, and how frightening it felt to not be in control of my body in those times. Regardless, she had to know.